New Feelings
Original



Warning: Sexual Themes and gay male coupling

“Yes, yes of course we will!”

He sprang from the floor where he had previously been kneeling intently before a beautiful young maiden. Spinning about, his grin shone like fine white snow, an amazing spectacle to behold. He took several determined steps away, and his footsteps pounded loudly on the wooden creaking floor. The redhead stopped, turned about, and then bowed deeply to the stunning and strangely dressed woman.

“The loss of your sister will not have been in vain, fair maiden.” He proclaimed. Beside where Mathais had sat previously, another young man stood, and his white hair cascaded down his back elegantly and sharply with the sudden shift to standing. The white-haired man eyed the redhead before silently turning and storming towards the door where he threw apart the measly curtain of a door and disappeared into the bustling town.

“Miss Niomi, I promise… we’ll return.” Mathais said, rising from his bow. “Lia will be avenged…”

“Thank you, kind Mathais. Your are quite just and pure… Please…” The woman pressed her hands together, which were covered by the long and elegant silken robes that reached far past her graceful hands. She inclined her head, and the black waves of her hair pooled around the floor, “Be careful.” She said softly, sincerely.

“As always.” Mathais said, nodding. He turned and burst out of the room into the blinding daylight, searching for his white-haired friend. Farther down the road he could see his white-garmented friend. Ryshar was walking in the complete opposite direction they needed to be going.


Mathais quickly took pursuit, and within moments he had caught up. “Ryshar!” He called, reaching out and taking hold his friends sleeve. Ryshar immediately jerked away, twirled about on his heel and grabbed the redhead by the collar of his shirt and slammed him into the nearby building, which just so happened to be a fish market.

“For fucks sake, Mathais. I did not agree to any of this. How dare you risk our lives for some snob little whore.” The white-haired man snarled.

Mathais grinned uneasily, “Ryshar…?” he questioned quietly, hands raised up in a non-violent matter. “What are you saying?”

Ryshar glowered a moment longer before slamming Mathais once again, harder, to the wooden building. He sneered coldly, “You know I have no use for miserable little quests just so you can quench what little heart you have left.” He released his Elfin friend and turned away. “We’re through, Mathias. I follow you no more.”

“…Ryshar? You… you have to be kidding.” Mathais gasped, reaching out tentatively. “You can’t… you can’t mean it.” His fingers hesitated before he once again took hold of the soft material that clothed his best friend. Ryshar came to a halt as his body stiffened with rage upon being grabbed hold of again.

“Release me, Mathais.” There was no room for argument in his tone.

“…Ryshar…” Mathais voice was soft, gentle. Exactly how Ryshar loved it. The white-haired man flinched and squeezed his golden orbs tightly together as he gnashed his teeth painfully. The assassin was fed up with Mathais random acts of kindness—every sad story he came across he felt like he had to fix. And who always got dragged into it to save the day? Ryshar of course… Ryshar was sick of risking is life for those he cared nothing for.

The assassin jerked himself free and continued on his stormy path, causing several civilians to scatter in fear of his dangerous wake.

Mathais was left, one hand raised pathetically, his eyes standing with tears as the backside of his friend grew dim between the watery gaze, and then finally swept away in a sea of bustling bodies.

~*~

/That bastard./Ryshar thought angrily, kicking the dresser inside the room he now rented. The old thing easily fell over and crashed loudly on the floor where one drawer exploded and another seemed to jerk itself partly free. An assortment of paper and other little trinkets dislodged as well and scattered themselves across the dusty floor. Ryshar glared across the room where his friend’s belongings still lay in a sad heap on the opposite dresser.

In livid defiance the white-haired assassin threw himself towards the heap, and began to tear at the clothing. It shredded easily, almost as if it were made of some flimsy material. The aroma of his companion wafted to his nose, and now even more angry at himself for stirring strange feelings, Ryshar slid his arms over the top of the dresser, throwing the rest of Mathais belongs to the floor. Several things shattered, some clambered loudly but most just thudded unceremoniously to the floor.

/Idiot. Selfish bastard idiot./ With a huff Ryshar sat on the bed. It moaned softly under his weight but gave in to his small frame. The man dropped his face into his hands, sighing terribly.

As much as he hated to admit it, he was madly in love with Mathais. He had never thought anyone in the entire world could steal his heart, but Mathais had definitely embedded his nails into his heart with a fierce grip. Whether it was knowingly or not, Ryshar couldn’t tell. Every little smile, every chortle sent his way…that look Mathais often gave him with Ryshar said something funny were all things that sent a curiously pleasant warmth coursing through his body. Feelings he had never thought would stir in his body ever again.

“Ryshar…?”

The white-haired man jerked up at the sound of the voice. His golden eyes sought out the speaker of that gentle sound, though he didn’t need to look to know who it was. As he found Mathais’s gaze, he felt guilty watching the other scanning the floor at his precious items that were splayed across it due to fitful anger.

Ryshar could see the glimmer of tears in his friend’s eyes, but he dared not look any further into those tormented eyes. He huffed ungratefully and looked away, crossing his arms. After a moment, he could hear soft scrapping noises as his friend began to pick up the items.

“…I don’t know when I’ll be back…” Mathais started. Softly, so gently; so hurt. Another scratching noise, one sounded like metal being clinked together. “I’m sorry you feel the way you do, Ryshar… but I want to help people… I thought you knew that… But, I guess… I guess… I guess our paths… They…” There was a tremble to the voice. If Ryshar didn’t know any better, he would have thought that this was a prepared speech. “Our paths… they… part now.” The tremble grew deeper and something clattered loudly.

Ryshar dared to look. He was a little surprised to see that his friend knelt, rubbing his eyes fiercely with his sleeve.

“What are you doing?” Ryshar snapped.

“I guess I’m crying…” Mathais muttered softly, and he slowly raised his tear stained face. He did, however, manage to smile. Though it was riddled with pain. “I didn’t think you meant this much to me, Ryshar.”

It took everything in Ryshars arsenal to keep a straight face. Something was hurting painfully inside his chest, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was. He already knew he was in love with Mathais; that much he was certain of. Would he ever tell the red-haired idiot? Unlikely.

“Ryshar…?”

“What?”

“…Will you miss me?”

Ryshar was a little taken a back by this and he simply stared, blankly. After a moment he shrugged. “I don’t know.” He stated stiffly, “Why would you care?”

“I know, right? I really shouldn’t…” Mathais laughed softly, and stood. A cracked crystal was hanging limply from his hands. It seemed that if he relaxed even a little, the broken thing would surely fall to its doom. Shaking, the redhead placed the useless crystal on the dresser. His boots crunched on the remains of the once beautiful ornament. “…Do you really want to leave for good, Ryshar?”

There was another sharp pain that Ryshar couldn’t quite understand. He rolled his shoulders and licked his lips absently. “I don’t want to go on another silly self-proclaimed enlightenment journey.”

“I see.” Mathais commented, nodding gravely.

“…I get tired of doing stupid things for other people. Seeking revenge, finding lost loved ones. Freeing idiots from jail who you deem are unworthy of the justice placed upon them. Irrelevant things. Stupid things.”

“…I see.”

“Stop saying that.” Ryshar snapped angrily as he flew to his feet. “You think your pompous self-righteous ass can judge me? Who ever cared about me when my mother abandoned me? Certainly not her. No one came to find me, or to free me when those bastards kept me as their personal toy. No one tried to help me out when I was lying starved in the streets. Except… Except…” Ryshar was shaking now, his fists were tight balls at his sides, and his knuckles were beginning to ache painfully. “Except for you. You, a perfectly arrogant little stranger.”

Mathais’s brow furrowed, and his eyes rose. He looked stunned, and obviously hurt by the others words. “...What did you want from me then, Ryshar?”

“Certainly not your pity. Pity is what stopped you that night. Pity is what drove you to carry me to some inn, to feed me, to dress me, to care for me—“

“What about now, Ryshar? All these months you think I’ve just stayed with you out of pity?” Mathais voice began to grow stronger, perhaps fueled with anger. “You think I’ve stayed with you out of sheer pity?”

“Then what is it, Mathais?” Ryshar demanded. His hands shot out to grip the others arms painfully. He shook the shorter man several times before screaming, “What is it then, Mathais?”

Tears began to leak from the redhead’s eyes, and Mathais’s lips curled into an unsure smile. “I don’t know,” he whispered, “I really don’t know.”

There was a long silence until finally Ryshar sighed heavily, and released his firm grip. “If you don’t know, then I guess there was nothing there.”

“What do you mean?” Mathais questioned, tilting his head.

“I… I don’t mean anything by that.” Ryshar snapped back, turning abruptly away. /Idiot, what are you thinking? You could never admit these feelings… You don’t even know what they are./ “For fucks sake.” The white haired man spat furiously, his fingers tearing into his white hair. “You… you make me so angry, Mathais…” He shook his head fervently. What was he doing? He was setting himself up for a confession… Why? Why was he doing this? “Sometimes… Sometimes I…”

He spun again on his heel, and took hold of Mathais collar and jerked him forward— an act that seemed to be quite popular this day “…You just…” Unable to articulate himself verbally in a way that seemed beautiful and clear, Ryshar simply jerked the other forward and placed a passionate, not-so-gentle kiss upon his friend’s lips.

Ryshar was pleased to find that Mathais tasted sweet, delicate almost… However, once he realized that he had his friend in a crushing and obsessive kiss he immediately released the other and took several surprised steps backwards. Mathais looked equally shocked. The two stared with amazement for a long time, until finally,

“You kissed me.” Mathais said flatly, pointing accusingly.

“…” Ryshar felt his eye twitch, and he continued to back up until he felt the wood of the building pressing hard against his spine.

“Ryshar…” Mathais took several steps closer, his brow knitted with confusion. “…you kissed me.” The accusation in his voice was unmistakable.

He was horrified. It was obvious. Disgusted even, maybe? Ryshar swore harshly at himself as he felt slowly for the window ceil, he had to escape… How could he be so ignorant? /Mathais is probably one of those…/ The white haired man felt his fingers on the windows edge.

“Ryshar, please. Wait.” Mathais threw himself forward, and took hold of the others hand. “Please wait. I’m not mad… really. I’m not. It’s okay.” Once again, Ryshar was surprised to see the tears escaping from his friend’s eyes. The feeling that he had once again brought grief to the redhead was once more excruciatingly painful.

Mathais body lifted slightly as he raised himself onto his tippy toes, it was barely even four inches of height, but it was enough to place a soft kiss on the others lips. Ryshar paused momentarily stunned, but when the other did not pull away, Ryshar allowed his arms to wrap around the other. With a seemingly insignificant tilt of his head and a more pronounced flick of his tongue he managed to deepen the kiss.

Another feeling washed over him, and it was another warm, pleasant bubbly feeling that seemed to spread like wildfire throughout his body. He could feel Mathais body pressing close against his own, the others fingers gripping tightly in his own hair. The scent of the other was fresh, beautiful and warm.

The white haired assassin, still in a dual of tongues with the other, danced the other away from the wall where they toppled over onto the awaiting bed. They broke the kiss long enough to smile, genuinely, with new found feelings, before their lips once again were locked together in a passionate struggle of understanding.

[Ramirez]



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