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Page name: Not the dirty word... [Exported view] [RSS]
2012-01-20 06:56:22
Last author: wicked fae mage
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I am giving a warning that this page is not intended for youth to view, as to why I am not publicly advertising it. The page contains adult content, adult language and things that children should not be reading. It is also not work place safe.


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Sex. (Seks)-noun
1.either the male or female division of a species, especially as differentiated with reference to the reproductive functions.
2.the sum of the structural and functional differences by which the male and female are distinguished, or the phenomena or behavior dependent on these differences.
3.the instinct or attraction drawing one sex toward another, or its manifestation in life and conduct.
4.coitus.
5.genitalia.
verb (used with object)
6.to ascertain the sex of, especially of newly-hatched chicks.
Verb phrase
7.sex up, Informal .
a.to arouse sexually: The only intent of that show was to sex up the audience.
b.to increase the appeal of; to make more interesting, attractive, or exciting: We've decided to sex up the movie with some battle scenes.
Idiom
8.to have sex, to engage in sexual intercourse. (Dictionary.com)

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Sex is a dirty word that gets itself a bad rep. But it's natural and it's all around us. It's in advertisements, magazines, books, paintings, video games, role-playing games, stores that cater to sexuality, fashion, and I know this is strange, but in our own bedrooms.

Sex is a sensitive topic that makes a lot of people uncomfortable, uptight, and downright embarrassed. And that is just talking about it. Can you imagine trying to write about it? People try shying away from writing the dirty, sweaty details that happen between characters for many reasons: the fear of being judged for what they're into, not wanting to be judged for not knowing enough about it, not knowing how to describe what happens during, not wanting to come off as easy, too liberal or get labeled...etc. But, for whatever the reason, I am here to ease people's minds about the sensitive topic.

First, if it makes you too uncomfortable, just don't write sex. Suggest it if it happens, but don't give out the juicy details. If you however want to break into writing about sex and sexuality, here are some tips to help:

1) Write what you are comfortable with writing. Don't push yourself if you're not ready. If you are looking to qualm your fear of writing about sex or writing sex scenes, start small. First, if you are a virgin, this could prove difficult because you don't have anything to fall back on if you run out of imagination steam. But start by writing about a short sexual encounter or even a short kiss first is a good place to start. After you are comfortable writing about kisses, move on to something a little more intense. Doing this gradually will increase your comfort with writing anything about sex and sexuality.

2) Draw from your own experiences. Being able to draw on things that happened to you is important. And nobody needs to know where you got the idea from. But think about it. Was there anything incredibly memorable in your past sexual experiences? The way a man smelled? The way a woman's hair brushed your face? Those little things could make all the difference in a generalized romping around story and a meaningful sexual experience for your characters and the reader.

3) Read novels that include sex scenes. Seeing how somebody else approaches describing sex and what happens. You can find these in most stores. If you can't bring yourself to purchase them in person, use Amazon etc. The novels don't have to be graphic. Some tasteful romance can be quite lovely. A good read, a nice mental picture and a steaming memory to revisit when you and your lover are intimate.

4) Watch movies that include some heavy romance, not necessarily porn, and try to describe what the characters did. Watching porn can help, too. Seeing things acted out (yes, believe it or not, porn stars are just acting) and how they are supposed to be visually appealing can help you transcribe everything.

5) Read sex books. Read books on how to do things and read health books that explain what happens to the body during sex. Just knowing how the body reacts to certain touches and situations is always helpful.

Reading any sort of online articles that talk about sexuality and sexual organs can be helpful. Learning what the body does when it is touched is good. Learning the physical reactions to sensations is going to help with the messy details.

6) Being general and leaving things to the imagination isn't a bad thing. Imagine the difference between: "She reached for me" or "She reached for my erect penis." The first one gets the idea across, the second one sounds more awkward.

Have you ever seen the costumes sold by Spencers, Adultmart etc.? Do you know what the number one complaint I hear from men about the erotic costumes that are sold? It is that nothing works for them because there is nothing left to the imagination. The imagination is a powerful thing.

7) Using bad euphemisms and descriptions are just bad writing techniques. Comparing a woman's nipples to pencil erasers does not paint a sexy picture. Trying to use some sort of metaphor for every part of the body isn't necessary. Learning to describe things by negation are descriptive enough for most people.

Like: Her breasts were not too big. They were not too small.-With this you can guess that whoever is describing this woman finds the size of the woman's breasts acceptable.

Using cliches is not all bad. Saying that he was tall, dark and handsome in a more colorful way can be good. There is a reason that stereotype stuck around for a few years.

8) Do research. So, would you happen to know what the top five sexual fetishes are? No? How about the top five sexual fantasies of men? No? Women? No? Hmm.... The internet is a great tool for researching. Knowing what people fantasize about other than yourself and the people who are close enough to you to actually tell you things. It can give you a leg to stand on.

9) A matter of taste... the language used can make or break a scene. If you are writing a straight up smut novel, using more crude language like "fucking" is acceptable. If you are writing a sweet, loving novel, "making love" is more appropriate.

More onto the subject of taste...violence, rape and so on are for a niche audience. This is a matter of your preference and the liking of your target audience. If you are writing for a BDSM community, then light bondage, handcuffs, spankings and gimp suits are perfect. If you are writing about a star-crossed couple who take their unbridled passions to the sheets as hopeless romantics love, you may want to ease up on the sex play.

10) Embarrassment and emotions are normal. Feeling aroused by what you are writing--particularly if you are in your own target audience--is normal. It's the reaction you want when somebody reads what you wrote. Feeling embarrassed about it doesn't change the fact that it's good enough to stir those feelings in you as you are trying to imagine what comes next. No pun intended.

I do not intend for any of this information to be used by a sex-me-up-Sue to worsen role plays for people.

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