Looking In

I look through myself with one good eye;
brains spray across the walls.

Adulthood:
an un-rivallable disappointment.
Ten years made hazy by the flicker-flash of sunlight
through chainlinks.
My nose rubbed in my every mistake;
re-live,
re-learn:
house-breaking the man-animal.
It now slides prettily to the floor.

Adolescence:
a drifting blur,
vaguely recognizable through the bottom of a bottle.
Pranks and petty creimes,
and the memories
that seem to be the only ones I will ever know.
They still hang, a rosy mist, in the air.

Childhood:
a vast string of adventures and a great sense of aloneness.
Just the odd times;
happiness,
horror.
Learn, live, house-breaking the man-animal.
It trickles down my cheeks like tears.

I looked through myself with my one good eye ...
I only saw the wall.