Protectors of Universe

Ok, I know I Said I would Rant about Space thunder kids next put this is almost fresh in my mind so I'll do it next. Besides It's almost as bad.

Lets start with the text on the back of the box:



  In the far reach of space, a new star evokes. At that very moment, a horrible roaring sweeps across the Universe. This Suden roaring breaks the peace of the Univesre.

  Antarichi, a planet of peace and perfection, is overtaken by the greedy bionic human Alfred. Opposing the belief of his creator Casiofia, he attempts to concuer the Universe. His first step is to destroy the City Orion.

  Kanann, King of City Orion, is shocked by the sudden attempt of the new born star. he finds no way to combat so he sends out his SuperSpeeder to seek help from Earth.

  A fierce and bloody batle begins. With the reunion of Super Speeder and Mazinga 7 and a group of brave warriors, Alfred is finally defeated. The bionic human is exploded and the colony destroyed. City Orion is rebuilt and Universe is back to peace, thanks to the Protectors of The Universe.


.... Hmm. I don't know about you but that made NO FUCKING SENSE!!! So lets go over the reasons as to why it makes no sense for those of you who can't figure it out.

A: Gramer(I dout that's even how you spell it)

B: A star evokes. Someone please tell me how a star can evoke?

C: A bionic Human Named Alfred. WHEN BAT-MAN SIDEKICKS GO WRONG!!

D: This has almost nothing to do with the movie and fails to mention that the whole thing is just one big sexual inuenndo.

Now that we've gotten that covered lets move on to what actually happens in the movie. Oh, and before I forget this movie has THE WORST VOICE ACTING EVER It's one guy not even trying to give any depth and just tunning his voice up an octive for the girls, but if you didn't have to listen to it then the movie wouldn't be half bad.

So the movie starts out with the city above getting it's ass kicked and having to send this robot train to earth so they can make save the universe.

So far nothing exictings happened... oh wait! what's this? the train full of little kids just inserted it's self up the gian robots ass!! Think about that for a second.

Train full of kids up giant robot ass.

Insert sexual innuendo here.

And speaking of the robot all it does through the majority of the movie is fly around stiff as it's own wood when the train goes up it's ass and rams it's fists into enemy ships. lets just say this, You need to feel bad for this robot. It doesn't do shit through out this movie.

I really can't remember most of this plot, mainly just because I wasn't paying attention, but there's this guy who's acting as a spy for the earth and gets found out after he tries to get information from alfreds hot girl-freind. who's actually surprisingly well drawn, or as well drawn as this can get. After he's turned over the girl-friend starts troutering him with a whip and something that's suppose to be exetronical. She then proceeds to lower the device to his waist line and we then here him scream. Reason #1: why you never trust a Dominmatrix.(Yeah, I know that's crapy spelling. after this though I really don't care.)

next Mazinga 7 fights two other robots (one of the few times where he actually does anything.) in itself this would be pretty cool if all the shooting and exploding noise didn't make me feel like I was watching the fourth of July. To this day I can't keep my self from cringing when ever I hear a firework whistle.

next Mazinga 7 fly's through the base stiff as a board and WRESTLES with a giant dragon to save it's piolits.... IT'S PIOLITS!! WHAT THE FUCK!

Any way before this little piece of insanity happens we get a back story to the mexican smurfs that are helping Alfred *Na na na na na na na BAT-MAN!!* to concoure the universe. as it turns out there not just mexican smufs, ther ANDROID MEXICAN SMURFS. WHAT THE A;LFDKJASODFASNVOAIHVOPAWNGOPWGHPWOGFAPSOHFWAP9!!!!!!

It's getting late so I'm going to wrap this up:

Mazinga 7 saves the day with alfreds girl-friend betraying him (which in fact involves the best diaoulouge in the whole trilliogy of these films "You ungrateful whench!" No really that's as good as it gets) The two villians die crapply repenting there ways and the universe is saved by a robot with kids up it's ass.

Ok, that's as far as I'll go for now but needless to say there are a lot more sexual innuendo's than that (much of which involve pedophiles).

so incuculsion again:

NEVER WHATCH THIS MOVIE ALONE!!

I'll get to Space thunder kids next time I whatch it, which probably won't be till next year.


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