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Recent MST Movies [Exported view]
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2006-11-02 23:45:13
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If your a fan of MST and you missed on of my movies last week you can find them here! If you do so to desire you may comment on the movies down in the comment bar.
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Last weeks awsomely HORRIBLE old movie was] [
is Horrors of Spider Island.] While the name implys something like Jurassic park the island in the movie has but only one spider in it and dies very early in the movie. The movie is about a person who hires women for dancers to go to Singapore. On the plane to Singapore the plane crashes. They land on Spider Island (unbeknowest to the crash survivors) and have to survive untill they are picked up by rescuers. The reason why its so awsomly bad is the fact that 9/10 of the movie has to do with the girls being "sexy". 1/10 of the movie avtually has action in it when the male survivor is bitten by the giant spider and turning ionto a giant spider then killing two of the girl survivors. The plot is sketchy and the title is misleading. While this movie ways made in the days of black and white it should have done better in sound and camera angles.
"Movie Quote" *Gary is found kissing one of the dancers and his girlfreind walks in* G/F: Gary! *the girl stps kissing him and Gary looks down* Gary: This damned heat! I dont know what im doing anymore! Servo in the audience: Yeah i was unfaithful but it was like 84 degrees.
Horrible Movie of the Week
Now...anouncin
g our new horriblew movie *drum rolls* Its based on the Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie....[This Island Earth]. The reasoning behind the obsenity of the movie is the fact that they actors (pls realize my point) is that they keep accusing two other ppl with large cranial ridges of being aliens......And they are!! >.< What makes it so horrible is that they were Over-oblivious! it took them WAYYYYYYYYY too long to realize they were! All in all this wasnt the worst movie ever actually. Sadly...the plot became boring and uninteresting...and some actions that happened within the movie did not make sense worth a dime. An explosion accured killing about 7 scientist....for NO APPERENT REASON! Action scenes within the movie were filled with action like my cat on sleeping pills. If it werent for Mike, Servo, and Crow making fun of it this movie would keep you interested for about..... 4 min.
[Worst Movie Part] The fact that When a mutant was attacking one of the main characters...it was like the floor had been freshly waxed with butter...and oil! She did nothing but fall down and that does not get tension into the scene.
Making our way into the ring this week is....[The Screaming Skull]. Do you like horror films? Ones that really really scare you? If yes to any of these questions....skip this movie. It's not a horror flick at all. The plot messes you up and confuses you to no end. If you find skulls very frightening..then still this movie isnt for you. Your sooo lucky those three make fun of the movie. Does tuba music scare you? Half of the music is "scary" tuba music. The acting sucked and the script was poorly done. For example, this was a line in the movie:Women: Whats that? Man:That's the gardner's warehouse, Micky's. Women: Who's Micky?
I mean...please...the script is as horrible as the actors are good. Oh yeah! Did i mention that the "tension" parts are so slow that even I want to return the unused portions of the movie. TO quote what the MST Gang said..."So....basicly the movie is like a box of foam peanuts?" "Yeah like this part is a foam peanut..maybe two" Not to mention that everytime its a tension part the door is being knocked on..and she doent know how to open doors!!! ><. She walks to the door...stops....walks again...pauses....moves...halts....green light.......red light......green light....Then after 15 mins or so she opens the door to find a....AGH!! Not a skull! -.-'
Ok.
This Movie has been delcared [The Worst Thing Ever To Come Out Of CANADA] It's called [The Final Sacrifice]
This movie describes itself..it came out from Canada (Mind you i dont have a problem with Canada) the movie starts off with a guy running through the forest away from some hooded thugs. There is twoguys near a camp fire as well..seemingly waiting for the one running guy as the hooded thug loads the gun. The runnning guy keeps on running as the camera pans back to the Head of The Thugs draws a symbol on the ground sorta like this
______
\ / Dumb Eh? Thier almighty
\ / Symbol is a time piece. Anyways
\/ The guy keeps running and it
/ \ Pans back to the gun wielder
/ \ Over and over again until he
/ \ Shot. Then the credits roll
--------- The story is basicly about a boy who's father is dead (The running guy) and he wants to know what happened to him. When he tries to find out he finds a map to the "Lost Continent" which is what the Thugs are after. Along the way he meets a Drunken-Type fellow named...are you ready for this? Congratulations to the [WORST NAME EVER] Zap Rowsdower!!!
This movie has a nice plot tha is easy to follow but horribly executed. Dialouge is chunky and im pretty dang sure they could've come up with a better name than "Zap Rowsdower". This is the type of movie that is "Whats Left Over" The way the MST ppl make fun of it...you'll want to watch it over andover again. This is one of thier funniest ones yet. I also award the Head Thug of the Hooded Thugs [Worst Bad Guy Ever!] and not in a good way. His voice gets deeper then Darth Vadar. In fact the MST re-named him Canadian Villian Garth Vadar! Tremble!!!!
The Creeping Terror!
Prepare to Absolutely suffer! This movie is absolutely horrid. Horrid beyond all beeliefs. It was even hard to watch it with the MST crew's constant bantering. This movie includes Mike, not Joel. Now, onto the movie. It's rancid and smelly. It's like ten people made a movie from a budget of thirteen dollars. The story goes, a newly wed couple are coming home from their honeymoon, and are stopped by a Sherrif. Appearently, an unkown spacecraft crashed into a feild somewhere in California. So the newly wed and the Sherrif (Who happens to be friends, mind you, and working in the same feild.) check out the broken craft. Low and behold, there's an alien inside of it! It's tied to the wall by unkown metal straps. The Sherrif STILL manages to get eaten. Did I mention that there's a second alien roaming around as well? All right, more onto the jokes and AWFULL parts of the movie. This will make you cringe for all the wrong reasons. For one, no one ever runs from the monster! Have you seen Austin Powers? The part where the one guy tries to stop Austin on the steam roller? All he does is scream stop as Austin creeps over him and crushes his body. Think of it like that. The Creeping Terror slowly inches its way to its victims and eats them. Shoot, some scenes it literally takes him MINUTES to get to the victim, and even LONGER to eat them! The movie itself is awfull, not just the acting. The movie has little to no voice acting. Weird, huh? It's like a silent movie. However, there's a narrator that explains the entire movie just for you. The movie quality is even worse, being black and white. At one point, there's even a single hair over one of the cameras. That never got cut out. We've got some witty quotes from the gang, such as "Well the monster is creeping, I'll give him that." from Servo. This movie is a stinker, but thankfully the MST gang is there.
This movie earns a 5 rating, for both MST jokes and the movie. The movie is so bad, you'll laugh. Also.. This movie is given a 'v' rating as well. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE WITHOUT THE MST GANG! You'll want the last hour of your life back.
[I will only post 5 movies at a time.. after that i will delete and replace the first movie]
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MST Movie of the week!
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