Spring Nicht
I scream into the night for you, don't make it true. Don't jump...
http://www.imeem.com/people/Ipm8EK/music/1ytOfr8x/tokio_hotel_dont_jump/
The day after that fateful storm that led his brother into his bed, Tom opened his eyes. He had dreaded waking ever since he'd shut his eyes the night before, knowing precisely what the morning would bring him. More agony, more strife, my sickness... That was all he had to look forward to now. He refused to turn over, afraid to look at his brother. He knew what he had to do now...but how could he face his rejection. His heart aching and he knew he couldn't take this pain much longer... But to have his brother, the only one he'd ever truly loved in this world reject him... It was too much for him to bear. He knew he had to tell him, but whether he had the bravery to actually come forward and say it was the question. Knowing that he'd have to look at him eventually, Tom turned over on his side and stared into the face nearly identical to his own. He immediately regretted his decision. Bill was gorgeous, lips slightly part as he breathed in and out in his slumber, dark make-up covered eyelids shut peacefully. He would've given anything to claim this beauty for himself, but Bill was no his, would never be his. He could feel himself crumbling apart on the inside as his brother's devastating beauty tore him apart inside. With a quivering hand, he reached out and touched his brother's face, allowing himself this. The smooth skin felt wonderful beneath his hand and he wondered what it would feel like to touch the rest of him... But he immediately yanked his hand away at this thought. There was no way that he could desecrate his precious brother with his perverted thoughts. He had to get away...but he didn't want to disturb him. So he laid there, staring at Bill and wishing for things that could never exist between two brothers...
Bill was dreaming peacefully... Thoughts of a nice relaxing return home where his mother was waiting for him, his brother, and his friends with a broad smile and open arms. With such tranquil thoughts, he slept wonderfully, not wanting to wake up from the reunion he was dreaming of. Sighing in his sleep he shifted, groaning and hugging the pillow his head rested on close to his chest... It was the touch on his face, making him stir slowly. Sleepily and not wanting to awaken, Bill struggled to open his eyes. They were barely open as they rolled up, staring hazily at tom; through the film that formed over his eyes during his rest. Lips parted, twitching as he fought a wide yawn which erupted from him, filling the room with its sound. Groaning and stretching out he slowly did his waking rituals, rubbing his eyes, yawning, stretching, and kicking the blankets off his T-shirt and underwear clad body. Turning his head with the third yawn of the morning he looked at Tom through now clear eyes, smiling. "Good morning, Tom."
Alarm filled the twin's eyes as he watched his brother awaken. He normally wasn't near Bill when he woke up, and he certainly had never noticed how...sensual his actions could be.
'They're probably not even that sensual. I'm just a fucking pervert...' he thought. But he couldn't help it when his eyes ran up and down Bill's body, the long, beautiful legs, the curved hips and underwear that left little to the imagination, the exposed belly, that tattoo... He gulped, eyes quickly darting up to his brother's face when he spoke to him. His cheeks were flushed now and he could feel his morning wood become more and more of a problem. He quickly put his hand over his crotch, trying to look casual. "M-morning..." he stuttered, hoping Bill hadn't noticed anything.
Bill hadn't taken notice to his brother's eyes roaming over his mostly bare body until he caught glimpse of the pink colour filling his cheek. Blushing himself he he grabbed a hold of the blankets, quickly covering himself from his brother's eyes. He was use to waking up in such a way... And completely forgot that Tom would be beside him watching. Smiling sheepishly he scratched the back of his head with a soft laugh. "Sorry..." He said, getting up from the bed and pushing the curtain's aside, grabbing a air of pants from his side and pulling them on.
Tom shook his head, feeling ashamed. "It's no big deal..." he said, unable to stare into his face from embarrassment. He buried himself further under the blankets, not wanting to get up just yet. Atleast, not until Bill left. This couldn't go on much longer...he couldn't keep up with this growing desire. He would either tell Bill or...or he'd have to find another way out. Because there was no way he could live like this anymore.
Bill looked back at his brother, still holding the curtain that seperated their 'room's. "I'm going to go start making breakfast alright? I think Gustav and Georg are already up, so I'll make sure to keep some for you. They are such bottomless pits." Letting the curtain fall back he walked out of the tour bus bedroom and out to the kitchen, rummaging through cupboards.
Tom sighed, moving his hand and staring at the erection that was still there. He knew he should relieve himself, but the nausea rising in his stomach was making it hard for him to want to do anything except curl up and die. He felt so absolutely disgusting. He just wanted all of this to end... He knew he would have to get up sooner or later, but it could wait. No one would miss him if he was gone anyway. They didn't need him...
Bill pulled out a frying pan, setting it on the small stove and turning on the flame. Walking to the fridge he pulled it open, pulling out a package of bacon and opening it. Stopping, he eyed the stove... The bacon, and the microwave. Turning the flame off he put the bacon onto a paper plate, slipping it into the microwave and turning it on. He glanced over his shoulder as he cooked it, going over to where the two other bad members were sitting and watching TV.
Tom continued to wallow in his sorrows, thinking of how painful this all was. He couldn't keep this secret much longer. But what was he to do about it? Certainly his brother would reject him... And that's when he realized it was he had to do. He shuddered, thinking that was the only way to put a proper end to his sickness. But if this is what he had to do to keep his brother from knowing about his disorder, then that was what would have to happen. He got up from the bed, eyes glazed over and set straight forward with no emotion in them whatsoever. He headed into the main area of the bus, looking at the people he'd become most close to in this life, Bill, Georg, and Gustav. "What are we doing today?" he asked. This was an important detail into how he was going to solve the problem.
Bill heard the microwave beep, pulling out the bacon and yelping out at the hot plate, franticly moving it to set it down on the counter to cool off. Waving his hands he moved his fingertips to his mouth, sucking on them as he looked back at his brother, rising a hand in greeting and returning his eyes to the televison.
Georg looked over his shoulder, a spoon idly hanging out of his mouth, yogurt in the other hand. "Rehersal." He said simply, noticing the strange, unusual expression in his bandmates face. Shrugging it off and keeping quiet he went back to staring at the screen.
Tom's eyes couldn't help but wander back to his brother, though he knew he shouldn't even be looking at him. Not with his filthy mind. He didn't deserve it. He ignored the salutation and turned away abruptly from his twin, nodding at Georg. "Kay. Someone come get me when it's time to leave..." he murmured before turning and walking back to his sleep area.
Gustav glanced over at Bill. He'd never seen his twin quite so...out of it. "Is he okay?" he asked, figuring that if anyone knew what was wrong with Tom, it was Bill.
Bill looked over at Gustav and then over his shoulder to the back room where Tom hid himself from their eyes. Blinking he knitted his brow's, his concern for his brother starting to grow once more. Tom had cried so hard last night and held onto him so desperately, it made him wonder if his brother really was okay. "I'm not sure... He was kind of upset last night when I crawled into bed with him but.." He shook his head, walking back to the counter and brining the bacon over. Taking a piece he bit down on it, staring at the ceiling in thought. What could be wrong with his brother? Getting up he left the plate behind walking into the bedroom. "Tom?"
Tom stared at the blankets beneath him, thinking about everything that was about to change today...about everything that was going to end. His heart was heavy. Why of all people was the one he had to love his brother? Being gay was something he could've dealt with...but an incestuous relationship? Why did he have to be this way? What was wrong with him. His stomach flipped sickeningly when he heard the voice of his brother calling him. "Yeah?" he said weakly, holding his stomach as he met the identical pair of eyes. His skin was pale and unhealthy looking, his usually bright aura dim.
Bill walked over and sat on the edge of his bed, looking at his brother with a thick worry in his eyes. A hand reached out, gently touching his identical twin's shoulders and giving him a seriouse look. "Whats wrong with you... Are you not feeling well? Are you sick? Or... Did something happen with some girl or something?" His brother seemed desperate to find out the source of his Tom's dispair, for he didn't make a move, not even his eyes left the beautiful caramel eyes opposite of him.
"I...haven't been feeling well lately..." Tom lied only partially. He did feel ill, but not because he was suffering from some sort of disease. Well, atleast not one that was caused by some sort of infection. His disease...his sickness...his perverseness..
. With Bill next to him, it all came flooding back. He felt the urge to vomit when he thought of what he wanted to do to his brother. Arousal mixed with nausea...it was a deadly combination. "Yeah... I've just been sick..." he murmured. 'Pssh. Yeah, I'm sick alright. But I've been sick for a few years now...'
The singer nodded slowly, moving to get up, placing a affectionate pet over the dreads before rising fully. "I'll let you rest. Breakfasts out on the counter if you get hungry. And if you need anything come and get me alright?" He gave him a final look before stepping out. He was pretty sure that if Tom really was sick he just wanted to lay down and not have anybody bother him. Coming up behind Georg and Gustav he leaned over the two, looking to both. "Tom's sick."
"Sucks." Georg said, concentrated on what was on the tube.
Gustav nodded, showing a little more concern than Georg. He could sense that something wasn't right...though he couldn't quite put his finger on it. "He's been acting kinda funny for the last couple days... You don't think he might need to go to the hospital, do you?"
George rolled his eyes, looking at Gustav with a incredulous expression, rolling his eyes and staring back at the TV. "He doesn't need to go to a doctors.. Its not like hes throwing up all over the bus or have a super high fever or anything. Besides if he needed to go he would say something."
Bill shrugged, sighing heavily and sitting down, teeth biting in lower lip in contemplation. He didn't know what to do about his brother.. it worried him, but he figured he should just leave him be.
"Well I was just making a suggestion, jeez. I mean, how often do you see Tom get sick? Hardly never. And it's been going on for a few days. I'm just worried is all... Better than you acting like you don't care at all," Gustav snorted and turned away from his friend.
"He's just distracted." Bill said, letting out a hefty sigh, brushing fingers through his long bangs as he turned to sit down at the table. He felt so stressed out. Something was wrong with Tom, some he was not letting him know. Laying his head on the table, Bill began to fret. His chest gave harsh throbs whenever a thought for the worse came into his head, making him vigerously shake his skull. 'What if he found out how I feel about him... Could he of got into my journal...? Is that why he wants to be alone, and keeps acting weird around me? DAMMIT!' Bill dug his nails into his head, biting back his lip as tears stung his eyes.
At that moment, Tom walked out into the living area, seeing the worried look on his twin's face. He winced, knowing that he was probably the cause of the other's strife. But soon he wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. "I'm goin out for a bit. I'll be back before rehearsal," he said without another word, leaving everyone in shock.
Gustav stared for a minute, looking at Bill. "Did the two of you have some kind of fight? He never goes anyplace without you..."
Bill jumped almost franticly when Tom said he was going out. Then a thought crossed through his mind... It made him loose his worried look, and made it evolve into a more wounded, beaten expression. Staring at the floor he rolling his eyes back, forcing the tears to stay off his cheeks so no one would see them. When the bus door fell shut the poor vocalist flinched, looking up but not at the two bandmates that were now watching him. "No... Hes probably going to go hook up with some girl."
"Ooooooh." That was all the confirmation Gustav needed. Tom was notorious for being a womanizer, particularly on tour. He didn't quite understand why this upset Bill so much though... Probably because he missed hanging out with his twin. He shrugged it off, not thinking too much about it, and went back to watching t.v.
Bill got up, silently walking back to the bands sleeping quarters, pulling out a notebook and pen, throwing on a pair of headphones and began to write quickly. It as a mixture of things going onto the paper, from Lyric ideas to his feeling to just long scrawls of nothing but pen. He wanted to be alone... He didn't want to be talked to, he only wanted Tom to come back, smiling like he usually was.
Having escaped past security, Tom made his way towards town, catching a cab. He didn't particularly care where he was going, he just wanted to be dropped off downtown. He would find what it was he was looking for soon enough.
Finishing up his writing, Bill got up, grabbing his leather jacket from beneath his bunk and slipping over his slender shoulder and heading out. "I'll be back in a little bit. I'll be around the area I just need some fresh air." He gave a little nod and a weak smile, stepping out and closing the door behind him. "Where did Tom go..." he sighed heavily, looking around.
When he finally found the place he'd wanted to, he asked the driver to stop. Throwing money at him, he got out of the car, staring up at the top of the roof. He walked inside the hospital, ready to be done with the deed.
Bill began walking down the cement, looking up toward the sky with the wind blowing through his down hair. he gave a gentle sigh, running the black painted fingers through his hair. He was hoping Tom would come back soon, he had a dreaded feeling that if this kept up they would fall apart as brothers..
Surprisingly, Tom made it to the roof unnoticed, his eyes staring down at the city far beneath him. A cold sweat broke out on his brow as he gazed down at the cars buzzing past. He gulped. Could he really go through with this? He would have to. There was no other way to solve his problem. He began to feel nauseous at the thought and he backed up, sitting down on the concrete. He gulped as he took his cell phone out of his pocket, finding the familiar number in his phonebook. He knew he shouldn't, but he needed to hear that soft, comforting voice more than anything... He needed his brother...
Soft brown eyes went from the sky to the concrete, and back to the lazy sky that was darkening once more. He could see the evening turning into night, and it was a beautiful sight. He had dreamed of such a sky many times.. But with his brother beside them and their hands laced together by fingers. Sighing his hand went into the pocket of his jacket, caressing the cellphone idly and out of pure habit.
Tom listened to the phone ring, hoping his brother would pick up. If there was anyone who could calm him down now, it was him. Not to mention, it would be one of the last times he ever heard that sweet voice, his sweet addiction. He bit his lower lip in anticipation, hoping that his twin would pick up soon.
The vibration of his phone on his hand caught him by surprise. Bill fumbled with his phone, pulling it out and taking a look at the caller.. Tom. Flipping it opened quickly he put it against his ear, speaking into the reciever immediatly. "Tom, where are you? You have everyone worried sick."
"I'm sorry... I just needed to be alone for a bit... I'll be coming home pretty soon. Where are you?" he asked. He didn't know why he did, it's not like he wanted Bill to see him like this. He just wanted to keep him on the phone...to hear his voice some more.
"Its okay, we all need our alone time now and again." He looked back up to the sky, standing still before looking around his surroundings. "I'm just taking a walk down town... Stretch my legs, breath the fresh air. Its good for my chords you know?" He smiled weakly... Tom's saddened voice made pangs of anxiety hit him hard, but at the same time the melancholy tone sounded serene and beautiful.
"Yeah..." Tom sighed, thinking of how he would've loved to hear Bill's "cords" screaming his name. He nearly gagged, that's how badly he disgusted himself. "Bill," he said, about to spill his deep secret. But he stoped himself before the word vomit could escape. "Nevermind," he said quickly. "I'm gonna go back to the bus soon, but I'll probably go out again later. So I'll see you later," he said, waiting to hear what the other would say before he hung up.
Bill let out a little 'hm?' when he heard his brother say his name, trying to get his attention, but excused it when he said never mind. He turned in his step, heading back toward the tour bus because Tom's statement about being back soon enough. "Alright... Want to watch a movie when you get back?" he asked with a slightly more cheery mood, going back to the fond memories of him and his brother watching movies together and crying.
"Yeah...probably not..." he mumbled into the phone, feeling bad that he had to deny his brother anything. He sounded desperate for his affection... And oh, what he wouldn't give to give him some affection... Growling, he broke out of his thoughts and said, "I'm just gonna get something to eat and then I'm going back out again."
Bill's heart sunk in his chest at his brother's answer. "Oh..." he replied, dissapointed that his brother was just going to eat and run... But that was how Tom was. He figured that his brother had met up with some girl, and had made plans to go out with her somewhere later. "Alright..." He answered, his cheery voice dead and passed. "Just be careful... Alright...?"
"Right..." he said, feeling upset that he had hurt his brother. But he had to do what he had to do. Sighing, he whispered to his brother, "See you back at the van..." he mumbled before shutting the phone.
For a long moment Bill stared at the cell phone in his hand. His heart felt as if it had been broken. The disgusting, and sickening thoughts and images of his brother mindlessly fucking women came into his head. It was completely and utterly gross... He hit himself in the head several times, cursing aloud to himself. "Stop thinking that way you sicko.." He sighed, mentally beating himself. "Don't think about it... Just don't think about it." But he couldn't stop thinking about it...
Bill wasn't the only one dealing with feelings of disgust. Nausea rolled through Tom quickly and he actually retched a few times, nothing coming up. Holding his stomach, he rose, leaving the hospital and heading out, catching another taxi back to the bus.
Bill arrived at the bus door, pushing it open and going straight to the bathroom. Closing the door he stripped off his clothes and turned on the shower, stepping into and tilting his head back. He needed to relax... Taking in deep breaths he slowly began to calm his mind, getting it off Tom and onto his next stage apperance.
Tom stared out the window, paying no particular attention to the buildings that passed. The driver had to shake him from his near coma when he finally stopped near the tour bus. Carelessly handing him a fifty dollar bill when the ride only cost nineteen dollar and thirty-four cents, Tom got out of the car and walked to his mobile home. He opened the door and got on, not talking to anyone and heading directly for his bunk.
Bill didn't hear the door open over the sound of the crashing water. The droplets hitting his skin and the floor were the only thing that filled his ears. Slowly, arms reached back, hands sliding through the wet black tresses that fell down his wet body. Browns opened once more, staring up at the ceiling as Tom yet again came into his thoughts. Standing still, his lips fell parted, whispering the name. His heart pounded, the feelings dawning on him again. "I love him.."
Tom sat there, staring at his bed as he thought of what he should do with his last few hours. He could take a nap, but what point was there in that? He'd be taking a very long nap, very soon. So, instead, he pulled out his notepad, looking at it worriedly. He knew that he had to tell his brother what he was feeling, but he wasn't brave enough to do it face to face. So he started out by writing exactly that, I'd never be brave enough to tell you this in person, but I just have to tell you...'
Bill finished washing his hear, leaning back against the shower wall and just thinking to himself. He had locked those feelings deep inside of himself, telling no one, not even his closest friends who he trusted nearly anything with. Putting a hand gently over his he art he gave a weak smile, fondly thinking of the dread-head's smile, and the way his face glowed when he was happy. Just being near him made him happy.. Finishing washing himself up he got out of the shower, drying his body and hair.
Tom thoughtfully put his pencil beneath his chin, trying to think what he would write next. This made him think back to the many night he and his brother had spent, staying up late and writing lyrics together. He treasured those moments, even now. He sighed, writing next, 'As I'm sitting here, writing to you, I think of those nights when we stayed up late, coming up with tunes and lyrics. I remember the melodic sound of your voice...and it gives me chills to this very day. Which brings me to what I want to tell you,' He sighed, even afraid to write the words. 'Bill, my feelings for you as brother have never changed, and never will. But there's something that I have to confess. I've loved you, loved you more than any brother should. I love you like a should love a woman, or another man who isn't you. I know it's disgusting and wrong, and that's why I've decided that I can't go on like this anymore. But before I go, I just had to tell you. You can hate me forever if you want. But I won't be around you, trying to come on to you, or daydreaming about you like I have for the past five years. I'll be gone. But don't be sad. You're free from my sickness. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but it's going to be fixed. Even so, I love you, Bill. And I'll love you even once I'm gone.' Tom shuddered, a tear trickling down as he face as he signed his name. He sat silently, wondering where he could leave the letter. He went to Bill's bunk, laying the letter addressed to him on the mattress. And before anyone else could see him, he left, catching another taxi back to the hospital.
Now completely dry; other then his hair which was thrown up into a towel, walked out of the bathroom to where Georg was fast asleep and Gustav was sitting down staring out the window idly with his Ipod. He didn't give them a second glance as he headed into the sleeping quarters to put on a pair of dry clothes. Reaching down and picking up some clothes from his suitcase he caught a glimpse of the bright white paper on the black blanket. Slowly reaching out he opened it, slowly reading it. As he read his eyes began to grow wide, hands quivering. His heart was pounding insanely... He couldn't believe it... Tom was going to kill himself, and he was in love with him. Dropping the now tear soaked letter Bill got dressed in a flash, running out of the bus franticly. He had to find his brother... He couldn't let his twin, the one he loved more then anything, kill himself. "Tom!" he already screamed out, trying to locate his brother, looking around like a frightened dog. "TOOM!" He continued running, Bare feet hitting against the cement hard as he searched.
Tom got out cab and handed his fare to the driver. He sighed, walking feebly into the hospital's doors and entering the elevator, taking it to the top floor. His body was shaking furiously as he thought of what he was about to do. He would never see any of the ones he loved so dearly again... But it had to be done. This...this sickness he had...it had to be stopped before he did something that he regretted to his brother. He walked up onto the roof, staring at the ledge as the tears began to fall.
One of the nurses leaving the hospital below turned to look over her shoulder, spotting the human outline against the sky.. Someone was on the roof, gasping, she ran back inside the building, telling staff about the boy on the roof. Several doctors came out, people off the street now looking.. And soon enough, the police arrived.
Bill ran faster, pushing his body past its limits, screaming the name over and over every few minutes while searching for his missing twin. He was an idiot! At least that's what Bill thought of him right now.. A fucking moron. "TOM YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE ANSWER ME!" His heart was beating wildly, teeth bit together so hard his jowl was hurting. He was captured with fear, completely swallowed in its grip.
Tom walked slowly to the other ledge, looking down as the wind blew. He gulped. Though he'd been skeptical at first, he had to admit that he was having real second doubts now. Regardless, he climbed up onto the edge, nervous. He had to do this...he had to do this... The words replayed in his head as he stepped onto the ledge, the tears coming faster now.
Bill ran and ran until the sight of flashing lights and a crowd caught his eye. He halted immedaitly, looking up where all the eyes were.. And that's when he saw the figure. The baseball cap... Baggy clothes, the short figure in them, and the dreds... Adreneline shot through him, his heart nearly leaping out of his throat in fear for Tom. "TOOOOM!" He shrieked at the top of his lungs, trying to get his attention over the noise. Gritting his teeth he went running, pushing and fighting his way into the hospital and to the elevator.. Closed down. Turning he went to the stairs, starting up the flights as fast as he could.
Tom could hear countless voices calling to him, telling him to come down, but none of them reached him... They were all just a blur of sound, something that he paid little to no attention to... Until he heard someone, someone he thought he was leaving behind. He looked down. Though it was hard to see from the rooftop, he could just barely make out the hair... "Bill..." he breathed, seeing the other running towards the building. Gulping, he knew he had to do this quickly. Otherwise, Bill would catch him. He couldn't have that. He couldn't make his brother suffer this burden any longer. Slowly, Tom stuck his foot out, feeling the air. Quickly he pulled his leg back, fear starting to overtake him. What if he couldn't do this?
Bill's breath grew ragged as he ran, his lungs were screaming at him to take a rest, his legs completely numb felt like jelly under his weight. Everything seemed to be insisting on holding him back from saving his brother. Grabbing onto the hand rail he pulled himself along, forcing his body to keep moving. "Wait for me..." he breathed out, pushing himself to his limit as he ran up the last few flights.
Tom's entire body was shuddering as he stepped up on the ledge again. His back to the people below, he mentally said goodbye to his brother. If he waited much longer, Bill would come and get him. He stared up at the sky, taking tiny steps backwards... This would all be over soon enough...
Finally he made it.. Bill burst through the heavy door, staring at Tom with wide frightened eyes as he took tiny steps toward the edge of the ledge. Screaming his brothers name at the top of his lungs he ran forward faster then anyone could imagine he was capable of, grabbing tight onto the wrist of the body which was about to fall one hundred feet down to the cement below. Jerking the wrist hard he kept his sibling from falling back, gritting his teeth and crying silently as he began to yell. "YOU FUCKING MORON! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING YOU SICK FUCK!?"
Tom felt himself feeling, his stomach flipping as he began to feel weightless. Until a strange forced grabbed ahold of him. He didn't know who or what it was. For a brief moment he even thought that maybe it was God. But when he could finally think logically, he realized someone was pulling him back. He figured it was one of the hosptal security guards, but, it wasn't. It was none other than his twin brother, the reason he was here. "Bill..." he breathed, staring with wide eyes at his sobbing twin. "W-what the fuck are you doing here?!" he exclaimed, finding it hard to believe the other wanted him around after his admission.
"Answer me first you fucking asshole!" He jerked on Tom's wrist, pulling him down onto the base of the roof and pulling him close into a constricting embrace. Burrowing his face into the crook of the soft neck he began sobbing, suddenly pulling back and hitting his twin harshly across the face, shoulders rising and falling. "WHAT THE FUCKS YOUR PROBLEM!? SUICIDE!? ARE YOU A FUCKING DUMBASS!?" Hand rose, rubbing his eye, smearing the black make-up horridly. "Haven't you noticed me watching you all the time! haven't you fucking realized I feel the same you selfish dick!"
Tom just stood there and took the beating his brother gave him. There was no way he could ever expect that... Wait a minute... Had his twin just said, through all the shouting and abuse, that he...felt the same way. "W-what?" the dreadhead said, eyes practically bulging out of his head. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard.
"You heard me you ass!" He took in a shuddering breath, trying to calm himself down from his hysteric state. He was nearly hypervenlating. rubbing at his eyes again he opened them for a moment to give Tom a look that just screamed stress. "I said I feel the same way you feel about me, you've been in my head for years!"
Tom just stared in surprise for a moment. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was still, unable to believe what he was being told. "Are...are you kidding?" he said incredulously, his voice barely a whisper.
"Yes I'm serious!? If I wasn't would I be sobbing my eyes out right now? Why didn't you just come talk to me, is this what's been making you act so strange lately!? YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" It was obvious that Bill was still enraged and upset at his brother, but then again who could blame him. He had nearly just lost his brother, and the one his heart craved for.
He sighed, tears coming to his own eyes at this revelation. He couldn't believe it... What he'd always wanted, always dreamt of... It was finally his... "Is this a dream... Have I already died?" he whispered, falling backwards since his legs could no longer support him. He stared up at the taller twin, unable to believe the words his brother spoke. It was just too good to be true.
Bill managed to smack him before he fell back, angered once again by the comment his brother made. "Your not fucking dead!" He hollered at him before throwing his arms around Tom's neck and pulling him as close as he could, crushing their bodies together.
Tom cried into his brother's shirt. Had he worn eyeliner like his brother, it would've been smeared as well. He cried desperately, a rush of emotions overtaking him. Happiness and relief washed through him contentedly... "I love you..." he whispered against his chest, never wanting to let him go.
Bill clutched onto his brother's dreds, hugging his head desperately to his chest, sobbing against his hair with gritted teeth as he jerked from the uncontrolable sobs. The thought he nearly lost Tom wouldn't leave his head. "I love you too.." he whimpered out, letting out a loud whail.
He groaned, pulling back and looking into his brother's eyes. He felt so happy and content in that moment that he couldn't help but do what he'd wanted to for so long. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to his twin's, the tears still flowing down his cheeks.
Bill welcomed the kiss and met it with equal, if not more passion. Lips parted, taking the lush, pierced bottom lip of his brothers between his own and suckling it. Arms wrapped tight around the thin neck, pulling him closed and smashing him into the wet kiss.
"Ah..." Tom moaned out past the lips that assulted him. The pleasure...the feeling of relief... His brother loved him, truly loved him as he'd always hoped... It was more than he ever thought his little heart could hope for. He groaned, holding on tightly to Bill, afraid that if he let him go he would wake up from this dream.
The sound of hurried footsteps began to rise in the stair well.. it was obvious that the building was being stormed by police and doctors on there way to sieze Tom for his attempted suicide.
Bill remained in the kiss, slipping his talented tounge to push up against the warm opposite one, dancing with it and caressing it sensually while their bodyies pushed together.
Tom moaned quietly, pulling away from his brother. "Stop..." he said quietly, hearing the footsteps as well. He moved away from Bill, wiping the cheek covered in eyeliner. "I'm sorry..." he murmured as if they were the final words he would speak to his brother. "I'm sorry for causing you this pain. Forgive me?"
Bill nodded as the group of people came up, siezeing Tom and dragging him away down into the hospital. "I forgive you Tom, I love you!" He shouted after him in their mother tounge. He himself was taken down by police for questioning.. Although he gave no answers to them as to why his sibling was on the roof.
Tom let himself be carried away by the people who put him in a room all by himself. He imagined this is what an insane asylum must be like. The locked him in this room with nothing but a mattress and a toilet with no water in it. He shuddered, wishing he hadn't done this foolish thing now. Now that he knew how his brother felt, he wished that he could take it all back. He wished that he had just told him, instead of being a coward... He wished that Bill was here with him...
Sitting still he stared at the floor, not wanting to look the officer in the eye as he refused to answer every single question they ahd asked him about Tom. Sighing, and relived when they let him free he isntantly seeked out a nurse, asking to see his sibling. To his happiness they oblieged and took him to the room, letting him in. "Tom.."
The opposite looked up, meeting eyes that matched his own. He felt ashamed to look at him, but at the same time...he couldn't look away. "Bill..." he said quietly. He never thought he'd muttered that name again. But surely enough, he had. And he couldn't have been happier.
"Can you leave us alone?" He looked to the nurse who nodded, obviously getting that there was something the two boys had to speak about. When the door closed Bill walked over, sitting on the plain bed next to Tom and wrapping arms tight around him.
Tom shuddered at his twin's touch and held on tightly to him. He held back tears, not wanting his brother to see him cry twice in the same night. He pulled away to look into his eyes, trying to tell him all of his emotions in that one glance. Normally, it worked. After all, they were twins. They had that strange twin connection where they normally just...knew what the other was thinking. And in his look he said, 'I love you, Bill.'
Bill smiled weakly, returning the same look into the quivering eyes that fought so desperately to hold back tears.. His eyes told his sibling it was okay to cry. Letting his arms fall he took the calliced hand in his own soft smooth one, thumb running over the back of palm. "We'll make it through this Tom."
Tom nodded, his face bright red as he leaned into his brother's loving touch. He looked up at him, returning his teary smile and kissed his lips softly. He needed the comfort, but more so he wanted to know what those lips really tasted like. Now that he knew his brother wasn't going to push him away, he couldn't resist himself.
Bill turned, exchanging glances with his brother before eyes closed and he turned to kiss him back. Lips mashed themselves up against the ones so much like his own, parting his to take tom's between his lips and gently suckle on it. A soft pink hew burned into the vocalists cheeks as he continued kissing his brother.
Tom groaned, still in shock that this was actually happening. He licked Bill's lips, moaning quietly. He was so happy to have his twin like this, to have him completely. "Bill..." he whispered, pulling back and staring into his eyes. "I love you."
Bill smiled softly, extending a hand and cupping his brother's cheek, thumb sliding across it, caressing it tenderly as he gazed into the brown eyes so much like his. "I love you too, Tom... I'm so happy your here still..."
Tom leaned into his hand, sighing happily. "I'm sorry...that I put you through that. I didn't... I didn't know how you felt and I thought you'd hate me for it so I..." He broke off, looking up into the other's eyes. "I'm sorry, Bill. I love you." He leaned forward and kissed him again. Now that he knew his twins feelings, he never wanted to stop tasting those lips beneath his.
Bill nodded, leaning in to accept the kiss before pulling back, caressing the smooth cheek of his bother's face. "Just never do somethign stupid like that again.. I'm your brother, you can talk to me about anything, I won't push you away from me..."
Tom nodded and smiled somewhat tearfully. He leaned into the gentle touch, taking his palm and kissing it. Slowly, he began to wear that mischevious smile he wore when he was about to say something naughty. He ran his lips up Bill's arm, kissing him all the way to his neck. Then he grinned wickedly at his twin and asked, "Am I going to be more than your brother from now on?"
Bills normal, confident self immediatly vanished, a blush creeping across his cheeks as long lashes fluttered over his eyes as he blinked. He was taken aback by Tom's sudden behavior and shifted slightly. "O...of course."
Tom leaned forward and pressed his lips against Bill's again. "That makes me happy..." he said softly, staring into his brother's warm brown eyes. "Bill..." he murmured, giving him a look. That was all he needed. His brother would pick up on what he wanted. They always could tell what the other wanted, just by the look in their eye.
Bill kissed the lips against his softly, pulling back to look into the dark browns after his name was said.. He could tell by that voice, that look.. that his brother wanted him. Looking to the door nervously he looked back, biting lip in and looking back to Tom before back at the door. "Here...? Now..... But what if they come back?"
"But doesn't that thought make it a little more exciting?" he said with a smirk, staring into his eyes. He knew he would get his way eventually, it was only a matter of when. Bill wouldn't stand up long against him, especially not when they both wanted the same thing.
"I guess..." He said, smiling to Tom. Leaning in he captured the opposite lips into a kiss, sucking the lush lower, pierced lip into his mouth and sucking on it with a groan.
Tom smiled against his brother's lips, kissing him back hard. He held onto his hips, moaning softly as he pressed their bodies close together, sighing. This is what he'd wanted for so long....and he was happy, truly happy.
Bill pushed his sibling flat down onto the bed below, stradling his waist while leaning down to keep their lips locked together in their passionet dance of tounges. He moaned into the opposite mouth, pulling fingers through seperated dreds.
He moans into the kiss, running his hands over those protruding hipbones. He growled a bit, lifting up the shirt and running his hands over bare skin. Desperate for more, Tom pulled his lips away from his twin and pulled off the other's shirt, immediately leaning down and taking a pert nipple into his mouth whilst still tickling his flesh with his fingers.
Read the previous chapter, Durch Den Monsun.
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