i must admit love

I must admit, with all recognition of my hypocrisy, that I am jealous.
*shrugs it off*
And though we are free spirits,
rambling bohemians eager to find love wherever it may be hiding...
with these words recently exchanged.. I don't think I could touch someone like that again and feel right about it.
It's good to have human contact... and I'll openly cuddle with whomever I please.
But I do believe I'll refrain from making love again until I can make love to you.
Nothing is set in stone, though, and I don't expect the same of you.
You're right-- rules are damaging, dangerous things in any situation, and completely arbitrary however enforced they may be. Free will reigns supreme.

The scene of the two of us finally being together at the bus stop becomes more and more solidified all the time.

With every syllable exchanged,
another detail falls into place.
The sound of your voice, the way you laugh, the shape of your face.
I drift off into space,
daydreaming of kissing your warm neck.
I scribble scrawling lines across the page,
wondering what you're drawing right now.
I sit at my desk, slumped over,
head resting on crossed hands,
and ponder the immensity of what we are, what we will be.
Two people so complex, and yet so free at the same time,
have so much to promise each other.

I love you.

I forced myself to have my doubts at first.
But they were never real doubts.
Contrived fears.

I love you.

Whatever that may mean.

---

back to acid faerie's essays...