myheartstoppedbeating

To ["him"]

he.still.gives.me.butterflies.

Another Hopeless Prayer

Sitting on her bed she lays awake
Trying to figure out why her smiles always fake
Why shes feeling so much pain
What has she to gain?
Looking at her scars she remebers the past
The broken promises that never seem to last
With each scar she remembers each reason
The day, the night, even the season
Trying to understand the thoughts racing through her head
Why is it that she always wishes to be dead?
Shes cried herself empty and fooled herself wrong
Not a day she can remember that she didnt think was too long
People have come into her life, only to walk away
Never knew how to keep them, or what to say
Having battles with herself she always seems to lose
Walking a mile in empty shoes
She cant remember the last time she felt alright
Why did living always have to be such a fight
Her heart feels almost shattered, her dreams seem almost crushed
Always trying to speak her feelings, but somehow always hushed
Whenever she thinks about her life
She ends with the carving knife
Laying in her bed she feels kinda cold
Her life was something she couldnt remold
Another hopeless victom, another hopeless prayer
Another way to show, that life just isnt fair.

In your mind, unfocus my eyes and give me a soft,monotone voice 
as I say this: 
"I really can't understand why more people don't 
wear white and use their best china every day. 
I just can't see saving special things for special 
times. I am afraid of mud. It's so...muddy. 
I can't cut celery. Will you show me how with your 
big, long, strong fingers? I care about you. I don't 
ask any questions. Just "be" and don't
 let me ever expect anything from you. I am your 
[perfect mate], perfect mate, [perfect mate]..." 

  ~Spare Me Three Last Words~ 

what do you do when you look in the mirror and staring at you is why hes not here? what do you say when everything you said is the reason why he left you in the end? how do you cry when everything you shout wont ever bring him back again?...


      

You're so damn lucky..you can
             just forget about me when i can't
             even stop thinking about you.

Hate
You lied to me and
Broken promises scarred my fragile heart
I hate you now and always will
I will never wait for you again
You led me on thinking
we were getting back together
but then you ruined it all
I was so happy
I hate you now
You hurt me so
You messed up my emotions and my thoughts
Now I'm all screwed up
not knowing what to do
I'll never trust you again
I won't be able to trust anyone
for the longest time
I'm so confused
I'm so hurt
my heart will turn to stone
and I'll be lonely
tears shed and
I hate being sad
I hate you for leaving me
I hate you for lying
I'm so angry
I just want to scream
I want to hurt something
I need to get it all out
Everything's trapped inside
and I hate you for doing this to me
I hate you
I hate being sad
I hate all your lies
I hate all the promises you never kept
I was wrong to believe you
I hate you

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