Nik's Remains

This is the extra stuff that wouldn't fit on my page! so, .............ya .....

~[LAYER ONE:]
-[Name:] Renee
-[Nickname:] Nik, Nikki,Rainy, Rinie, and a lot more
-[Birth date:] June 13, 1990
-[Birthplace:] San Antonio, Texas
-[Current location:] Waco, Texas
-[Eye color:] green in my records...but technically hazel
-[Hair color:] naturally strawberry blonde/dirty blonde...but its been blue, black, brown, purple, auburn, bleach blonde & reddish brown, and currently is coppery brown with multi-tone platinum highlights
-[Height:] about 5'7"
-[Righty or lefty:] righty

[Layer two:]
-[Your heritage:] indian, german, irish, scottish, and english
-[The shoes you wore today:] none...unless i have to...then its leather boots (w/ heel) or converse/audios
-[Your weakness:] emotions and men
-[Your fears:] i have arachnophobia
-[Your perfect pizza:] canadian bacon, hamburger, mushrooms, onions, and black olives
-[Goal you'd like to achieve:] fall into a love that lasts forever
-[Your favorite bands:] way too many
-[Your Favorite songs:] way way way too many

[LAYER THREE:]
-[Your most overused phrase:] "that's badass" and "........"
-[Your thoughts first waking up:] "........................what time is it?"
-[Your best physical feature:] chest-eyes-lips
-[Your in-bed time:] anywhere between 11pm and 4:30am
-[Your most missed memory:] not saying

[LAYER FOUR:]
- [Soda:] Mountain Dew Pitch Black part 2, DR. Pepper/Thunder
-[Fast food joint:] don’t have one
-[Single or group dates:] both
-[Adidas or Nike:] Converse and Fila and Audio
-[Chocolate or vanilla:] ugh...chocolate is gross.....vanilla
-[Cappuccino or coffee:] cappuccino....or tea

[LAYER FIVE:]
-[Smoke:] meh...when i feel like it
-[Cuss:] what the fucking hell do you think biatch!
-[Sing:] all the time!
-[Take a shower every day:] yes
-[Have a crush(es):] ya...2.....and one that's way more than a crush
-[Do you think you've been in love:] yes
-[Want to go to college:] yes
-[Want to get married:] i think so... yes
-[Believe in yourself:] at times
-[Get motion sickness:] nope
-[Think you're attractive:] sometimes....*wink*
-[Think you're a health freak:] hell no! i do like healthy foods...but far from a vega-nazi
-[Get along with your parents:] mostly
-[Like thunderstorms:] omfg yes
-[Play an instrument:] a little of guitar and piano....but voice counts as an instrument!

[LAYER SIX:]
In the past Year have you
-[Drank alcohol]:yes (dry gin rocks!)
-[Smoked:] yes
-[Done a drug:] does my ex count as a drug? .....i was addicted...
-[Had sex:] yes
-[Made out:] yes
-[Gone on a date:] yes
-[Gone to the mall:] yes
-[Eaten an entire box of Oreos:] hell no
-[Eaten sushi:] mmmmhmmmmmm...yum
-[Been on stage:] of course!
-[Gone skating:] no!
-[Made homemade cookies:] not in the past year...no
-[Gone skinny-dipping:] almost
-[Dyed your hair:] way too many times to count
-[Stolen anything:] ya

[LAYER SEVEN]
Ever...
-[Played a game that required removal of clothing:]nope
-[Been trashed or extremely intoxicated:] nope
-[Been caught doing something:] ya
-[Been called a tease:] yes...for some reason i get called that alot *wicked grin*
-[Gotten beaten up:] by my stepdad if that counts
-[Shoplifted:] guilty
-[Changed who you were to fit in:] hell no

LAYER EIGHT
-[Age you hope to be married:] between college and graduating from college
-[Numbers and names of children:] 2-3 kids.....and the names are both parents choice not one parent's choice
-[How do you want to die:] as long as i dont have to face eternity on earth...i dont care
-[Where do you want to go to college:] MCC (or ACC) then UT
-[What do you want to be when you grow up:] masseusse-psycologist-professional musician
-[What country would you most like to visit:] new zealand and england
-[Who is your most loved people:] my friends....and baby you know who you are....whether it's returned or not

[LAYER NINE]
In the preferred sex...
--[Best eye color:] doesnt matter...as long as you can see into them....pretty eyes is a big plus
--[Best hair color:] doesnt matter....i like all kinds of hair
--[Short or long hair:] preferably long...but hey....w/e
--[Best height:] taller than me...even if it's just barely
--[Best weight:] lately its been the twiggy guys....but i like snuggling...so they have to be comfortable
--[Best articles of clothing:] idk......w/e they're wearing...as long as it's not bright pink or preppy
--[Best first date location:] anywhere
--[Best first kiss location:] lol.....there are lots of those places...i remember my favorite...*trails off*

[LAYER TEN]
-[Number of drugs taken illegally:] well....i smoked some weed once w/ a friend and it didnt cut it for me so naw...not really
-[Number of people I could trust with my life:] im not sure anymore
-[Number of CDs that I own:] a lot
-[Number of piercings:] on my ears....eventually will be 7 or ...and will have lebrae and possible eyebrow peirced eventually
-[Number of tattoos:] one....the ink is pretty much gone...but the scar is definately there
-[Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper:] eh...a few times
-[Number of scars on my body:] too many to count
-[Big injuries:] broken arm. hole in kneecap and bone bruise, sliced my foot open, inch long splinter in my foot, several gashes here and there from odd things, broken heart
-[Number of bones broken:] one.....my radius (arm bone connected to the thumb side of your wrist) when i was 14
-[Number of things in my past that I regret:] i wouldnt change a thing...if thats what you're asking....b/c good has come out of everything....but sometimes i hate meeting a certain butter toothed rat...but i dont regret it.....it tought me a very valuable lesson

Sometimes I wish I was the one receiving death instead of bringing death. The pain is almost unbearable, but I still refrain from doing the "bad thing". Not even releasing others from their struggle in this mortal world brings peace to me. I am alone...but as my dear friend LeStat de Lioncourt said..."better dead than alone". Somehow...no thing and no person brings me joy and/or love without crushing down in cruel tormenting pain and lies.

Rock On!

"the heart may freeze, or it may burn, the pain will ease, if i can learn, there is no future, there is no past, i live each moment as my last. theres only yes, theres only this, forget regret, or life is yours to miss. no other road, no other way, no day but today"

Yo!

uh.....ya

Friend lovers

My name is Chris
I am three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I werent ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I cant do a wrong
I cant speak at all
Or else im locked up
All day long.
When im awake im all alone
The house is dark
My folks arent home
When my mommy does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Chariles bar.
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
Im so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door
Hes already locked it
And i start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
"Im sorry!", I scream
But its now much to late
His face has been twisted
Into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While i lay there motionless
Brawled on the floor
My name is Chris
I am three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me
And you can help
Sickens me to the soul,
And if you read this
and dont pass it on
I pray for your forgivness
Beause you would have to be
One heartless person
To not be affected
By this Poem
And because you are affected,
Do something about it!
So all i ask you to do
Is pass this on!
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE!
PLEASE COPY AND PASTE THIS AND PASS IT

"I Love You"

I NEVER.......(_) means i have....(x)means i have never
(_) I NEVER BROKEN IN 2 SUMWHERE
(x) I NEVER SET A HOUSE ON FIRE (carpet in the house doesnt count)
(x) I NEVER BEEN DRUNK (not exactly)
(_) I NEVER SMOKED POT
(_) I NEVER KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(_) I NEVER KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(x) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
(x) I NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN
(x) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI
(x) I NEVER HAD ANAL SEX
(_) I NEVER BEEN IN LOVE
(_) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
(_) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH THE SAME SEX
(x) I NEVER HAD SEX IN PUBLIC (well, it wasn't exactly public...)
(_) I NEVER BEEN DUMPED
(_) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED
(x) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED (anthony, you randomly saying that doesnt count....)
(_) I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(x) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME
(_) I NEVER SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE
(_) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(x) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING (so close)
(_) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF (we were all babies once)
(x) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED (almost doesnt count, and neither does getting taken back to school in the back seat...w/o cuffs)
(_) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(_) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB (it was just a few stuffed animals....)
(_) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE (i didnt know it was supposed to be a date at first)
(_) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
(_) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
(_) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
(x) I NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER
(x) I NEVER BEEN SKYDIVING
(_) I NEVER BEEN DUMPSTER DIVING
(_) I NEVER WALKED IN ON FRIENDS HAVING SEX
(x) I NEVER WALKED IN ON MY PARENTS HAVING SEX (heard them doin it though)
(x) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT HAVING SEX (once again...so close)
(_) I NEVER LIED JUST TO COVER MY OWN ASS
(_) I NEVER CUT SOMEONE AND MADE THEM BLEED
(x) I NEVER EGGED A RANDOM CAR
(x) I NEVER BEEN TO A DIFFERENT COUNTRY
(_) I NEVER BEEN IN THE BACKSEAT OF A POLICE CAR
(x) I NEVER EGGED A RANDOM HOUSE
(x) I NEVER BEEN EXPELLED/SUSPENDED
(x) I NEVER CHEATED ON MY BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND (almost did, the thought that i could have tore me up)
(_) I NEVER JUMPED THROUGH A WINDOW JUST TO SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN

I am the stalker, the creature, the immaculate beauty that haunts your deepest dreams. I am the angel that walks with a scythe. I am the one you hate to love and the one you wish you could love to hate. I am the one whose blood pours into your mouth sweet and warm, promising you an eternity with a being you can not possibly understand. I am The Dream Death Angel, and I'm waiting......my love......for your hand, to walk beside me while I tear my wings to peices praying to Death, myself, to rid me of this never-ending existence. I am awaiting your comforting kisses, long embrace, crying passion, and your death. Come with me my love, and share this with me. Better dead than alone is this cold dark waistland of eternity eh?
                              Forever Yours,
                              The Death Angel
                              "DA"