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2010-05-28 01:08:13
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Previous: the great fatherUp: my journey - raven lynn brownNext: getting ready

Yes, No, Maybe

Christian asked.

What do you mean when you say that the Goddess has taken over your body? Is that the same thing as what people call "Letting Jesus into your heart"? There are many ways that people describe it: letting go; tuning into the universe; going with the flow; being present. When water is poured into a transparent vessel it's hard not to think of the shape... See More of the liquid as being different from that of the container. Are you sure that when you have this experience with whatever you feel has commandeered your body that since it is occupying you, a woman, that you simply perceive it to be a "goddess" because it manifests itself as the shape it inhabits?

And I will try to answer.

I think I need to begin this answer by sharing my understanding of human perception and how it works.

The human mind though capable of receiving vast amounts of information is only capable of processing and interpreting a limited amount at any one time.

How much an individual can process, and how they interpret it can vary greatly depending on health, current physical situation, desire for awareness, personal experience and the immediate situation a person is dealing with.

Now I believe that I touched on this before. But for me that the idea of god and good are synonymous. And good as I understand it in relationship to this planet and the life that it sustains. Is that which promotes wellbeing and offers help in sustaining it when able.

So now I need to return to my first encounter with the one I call Goddess. I had been taught, that when trouble were greater than I was able to handle on my own, to call on either, God, Mary, or Jesus for help. And that with the help of a rosary, Mary was the easiest of the Three to reach.

And so I did just that. I reached out for help to someone I believed, could and would help. And I have to admit I was a little surprised when she seemed to actually appear in the room. It wasn’t like this had happened before when a rosary was said. But none the less being only 7, well not quite yet. I didn’t really think that much about it. When you are that age, extraordinary, you don’t understand yet happen almost every day.

And at the time I would not have named her Goddess. I called her the name I was familiar with. Mary, Mother of God. And while I say I had a vision of her. My perception was not limited to the Visual. She had a feeling. Now how do I explain this. As long as I can remember, I have been to recognize people as much by how the feel to me as they look. And she had her own feeling. Individual to her.

This is also how I recognized her within myself. When she was present I could sense the feeling of her. And when she took the driver seat, I felt like I was her. While at the same time I could feel my own consciousness pull back so it could watch what was going on.

This feeling of having sensed an Individual also extended to my interaction with God and Jesus. And while I never had them living inside my head with me. I could sense their individual presence when I talked to them.

And for a long time these were the only Gods that I was familiar with, knew on a first name basis you might say.

Now here is where things become a little harder for me find the best words to explain. Though I tried to seek it out. I never did meet “The Holy Spirit.” In fact as I looked for it I began to think the idea of the Holy trinity was valid. But that they had messed it up somehow.

And here is where another image started to take precedence in my mind. That of the Holy Family. I had always been attracted to the image. In fact, every year as a child at Christmas, even though we had and attractive store bought crèche, (You know, the manger scene) I insisted on making one of my own.

From an empty Kleenex box, some used toilet paper rolls, left over wrapping paper, some tape and the cotton stuffing from old pill bottle.
I cobbled together with the help of tape and glue. This one had no angels, or wise men, or animals lying around. But there was always Jesus, Mary and Joseph, gathered together in the protection of their make shift shelter.

Another thing I had trouble reconciling was was the idea that Joseph was supposed to be “Just” the stepfather. Every time I saw the image of them together, I couldn’t help but feel that Just as Mary was the Holy Mother, and Jesus the Holy Child, then Joseph was the holy father. I was gaining an understanding of something. But I had no Idea of how, to understand it.

I wasn’t long after that, I started thinking, it would make more sense if we said “In the name of the father, the mother, and the holy child  when we crossed ourselves in blessing.

Eventually I would meet other Gods, at first it was only in Ritual. But once I got to sense of their presence, I found I could talk to them just as I had the ones I grew up with. And still later I discovered that if a story of a deity moved me. I could ask to talk to them and they would respond.

Another thing I noticed is though it might be a story that introduced them to me. Was that when I went on to research them, I found that a lot of what was written about them didn’t jive up with my impressions of them. Some things yes, but certainly not all.

Odin, the All father of the Norse belief never arrived on an eight legged steer, armed to the teeth, ready to go to war. To me he appears more like a friendly Grandfather, with a long beard, wearing a wide brim hat and blue grey cloak, and a walking stick. And if his eye was missing I never noticed it. But then the hat, always sloped down a bit on the right hand side.

And Hecate has a kind of ageless beauty, that is neither young nor old. And though she wears black, her clothes always seem to shimmer with suggestions, of green, purple and blue. She is graceful in her movements and whenever I have taken my pain to her, she has taken it as though it was a precious gift.

And somewhere along the way, I noticed that some dieties felt exactly like others. That though they may dress and appear different. They felt exactly the same The first time I noticed this was when I met Parvarti. I couldn’t get over it, that though I was seeing her in front of me, she felt just like the one who resided within me.

Confused as hell by that, it was the second or third time we got together before I got around to asking them “Are you the same person?” and the answer was “Yes, but at different times, in different places.

This same thing happened when I met Tara, a female bodhisattva (Buddha), some say the only one, of whom it is said, that even once she reached enlightenment, choose to stay on the Wheel of Life until all others had attained it as well. She is usually depicted sitting on a lotus, with one foot folded under her in meditation and the other foot reaching toward the ground so that she can easily get up, when help is needed. I tend to see her in a flowing green gown, flecked with gold, reaching out toward me with her left hand.

And this happened once again, with Quan Yin, who was so serene, that no words passed between us, Just an immense feeling of peace. This time I didn’t feel the need to ask.

And as for the Gods. Jesus and Shiva, feel the same to me, though I am still hard pressed to explain that one. But then so does Dionysis, god of the drunken revel.

If Zeus is still around he’s not picking up the phone. And Apollo feels like Horus, and a couple of folks from legend the were never actually named as Gods. Arthur Pendragon and Robin of Loxley.

Are these absolute truths that I think should be accepted by everyone? No Are they clever abstractions my mind has created to allow me to reach out toward the sacred? Maybe. Am I happy with how they allow me to be in life, and the rich and varied world they have provided me ? Absolutely.

So I guess, the answer to the question you asked. Or maybe it was just the one I heard. Is, Yes, No and Maybe.

Hmmmmmm………Maybe that is what is missing in the Holy Trinity of Philosophy. The Maybe factor.

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