"Why I am so Clever" - Nietzsche

A page about [Dil*] and pointers on how to be clever

Prepare to be offended by my ego, which should be no surprise considering the fact that I am the owner of a page called egotistical bastards. I liked how my egotism started with the title of the page, it's one thing to say you're clever, it's another to use the same lines as Nietzsche.

-This is often follow by: "Why I am so arrogant" - because people are so inferior.

I mean...

-it's because people keep on stroking my ego unnecessarily, I am like that spoiled child who keeps on getting more spoiled.

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How to be clever like me

1. Be an outcast, of course you can't consciously do that, people just outcast you for you.
2. Live under a rock, it helps if you're an outcast, living under a rock entails complete ignorance of pop culture in the early formative years resulting in disgust and ridicule by your peers. I didn't live under a rock, but I did spend alot of my childhood collect rocks
3. Be stomped into the ground
4. Be a strong atheist, all the strong atheists I have ever met have been intelligent
5. Read books until you destroy your eyesight
6. Have overbearing parents
7. Have an obsessive compulsive personality
8. Have an addiction, it helps if you have an obsessive compulse personality
9. Talk to smart people, unlike the failed theory that hanging out with tall people will make you tall, hanging out with smart people will make you smarter
10. Have a failed sense of fashion
11. Be arguementive with people smarter than you so that you will guarantee yourself to be stomped into the ground.
12. Talk to anarchists
13. Talk to philosophers
14. Be stomped into the ground
15. Instead of teenage angst, have a nihilistic phase
16. Do well in school (initially)
17. Slack off when school actually becomes in important
18. Procrastinate as much as you masturbate, that would be lots.
19. Have offensive beliefs ("Your religion sucks, stop breathing my air")
20. Develop a fetish for perfect spelling and grammar
21. Obsessively check your spelling on dictionary.com (note: this also helps if you have an obsessive compulsive personality)
22. Be stomped into the ground
23. Be as sexually attractive to your preferred sex as an ugly sea slug

lol.

24. Laugh at your own jokes
25. Laugh at your own pain (this helps with being stomped into the ground)
26. Say "Foolish Mortals" over and over again, like a mantra when browsing people's profiles on the internet
27. Use long unecessary words
28. Use long unecessary redundently redundent language
1001. Supersede the numbering system
1002. Recieve high marks in mathematics
1003. Learn how to count... your fingers
1004. lol. Laugh at your own jokes
29. Start a flamewar with a PhD student
30. Start a flamewar so subtle it ends in the other person being banned (okay, they were being an asshole to someone initially, and I just prodded them a little with my biting sarcasm and they totally snapped)
31.

.... (leave unecessary pauses)

32. Make people feel awkward for no reason
33. Be a total ditz/dullard
34. pretend to be a total ditz/dullard
35. hide the fact that you're a total ditz/dullard
63. Confuse people
37.
38. Avoid things
39. Be stomped into the ground
40. Make things rhyme
41. "More brain, more pain"
42. Worship [Dil*] as your god and saviour
43. Tell people you're not clever
44. Be a hypocrite
45. Lie very well
46. Never lie
47. Be obsessed with truth and knowledge to the point of vice
48. Have no self-esteem (It gets in the way of getting stomped into the ground)
49. Have an ego the size of a small planet, emphasis on small, you don't want to look arrogant
50. Be clever

[oh, I'm on a row..]

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One of my many examples of cleverness:

[Ignore the poor grammar in this following passage, imagine me talking to you normally; I type like I talk sometimes, so bite me. ]

so anyways...On this forum I go to, it's a relationship forum, there was this guy who complained about being "too intelligent to find a match" and he said he "chips at the self esteem of women". He's like 51, so ewww, I'm not hitting on him. I was curious, I mean, I like talking to really smart people, they stimulate my mind. So he claims to have an IQ of like 180, so I survey his views on some things, basic philosophical concepts/questions. He doesn't have a clue, so I'm like: 'okay', let's try evolution. He's much more knowledgeable about scientific things.

He's smart, there's no doubt about that, I'm just not that impressed. I guess I expected to be completely blown away.

So, I guess he decides to 'survey me', because I bet he sensed I was probing him.

Him:
if you're in a spaceship traveling at the speed of light and turn the headlights on, what happens?

dil:
You can't make a spaceship travel at the speed of light.

Him:
how do you know that "warp coils" or whatever would be needed to reduce friction can't be made? There are many different types of engines already made and others in development that surpass our current jets and rockets. speed vs fuels that need oxygen is the problem.

dil:
I think I've heard physicists talking about that exact problem, about a space-ship moving at the speed of light and then shining a wait a jiff.

The speed of light can be slowed down. But we haven't found anything that is faster than the speed of light, but conceptually, I imagine it as light, moving at the same speed, but arriving a point faster because since the spaceship is moving, the distance between objects is changing. So the light would hit an object faster simply because the distance between the object and the spaceship would be shorter.

that's my best bet. So the speed is the same, the distance differs :. it would arrive faster at that point.

Him:

that question baffles everyone.
I think the light would end up at 2 x's lightspeed because it is already at the speed of light. sort of like a jet firing a bullet and the speed of the bullet equals the plane speed plus the actual feet per second the bullet would be traveling. light has no mass but it could still work that way.

Dil:
That speed of light question, I think I like my theory better :p

Velocity = d/t

Velocity of spacecraft and light beam are the same, but if we were to track a point from the spacecraft lightbeam to a point on lets say planet 'x'...

The beam would arrive at the planet x in half the time, but it would still be the same velocity. It's just that the distance between the planet and the laser would be changing as well, making the lightbeam arrive faster, or hold the illusion of arriving faster...when in fact the speed of light never changes, just the distance betweent the two objects changes.

uhmm....I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself properly. Analogy, I throw a ball from a short distance x, and it hits my computer in two seconds. I throw the same ball with the same velocity from a longer distance 2x, and it takes twice the time, four seconds. Both are of the same velocity, but take different times to arrive or hit the same location.

now...the light beam and the spaceship, since the spaceship is moving towards the object, the distance from the laser/lighbeam and the object is changing, so x is changing therefore the same velocity is used, it just arrives faster because of a changing displacement.

[I pulled that out of my ass, what does that make me? : CLEVER. ]

Oh yeah, I R clever

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[Update:]

I have just discovered my theory of the spaceship/light beam to be wrong.

My friend pointed it out, theory of relativity apparently, and looking at the correction, it makes more sense conceptually. What I did get right was the fact that velocity is the same, so my answer is still better than the other guy's.

The spaceship and the light beam travel at the same speed and would arrive at the same location in the same amount of time, due to the same velocity.

------------------------>( spaceship )>----------->spaceship-->
                                      ------------>light beam-->

since they're both travelling at the same speed, they travel together

dil got out-clevered :(

(meh, it doesn't happen often)