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Page name: Chapter Twenty Five of Violent Vibes [Logged in view] [RSS]
2004-05-20 02:01:59
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Chapter Twenty Five


“You stupid, stupid girl!” Glenn yelled. “Can you do anything right? This pillow is too cushy and the sun is in my eyes!”
‘Please forgive me!” She begged in a pleading voice. She grasped his coat. “Please sir, I---”
“Off the Italian leather!” He threw her off. He rose to strike her.
“No!” She cried as she backed away.
Stu covered his face: he couldn't watch. He heard the sound of hand hitting a face and a roar rose. But that wasn't Tpyge: it was Glenn. He uncovered his face to find his hand stained with sticky blood. Acifra was the one who had slapped him. Stu felt a leap of joy burst within him. She race to her sister's side.
“Are you alright?” She asked. Tpyge nodded wordlessly. “Good.”
“So you want to be slapped too?” Glenn asked. His eyes raged with brilliant flames of anger. He raised his hand again but someone grasped it. He turned to look. “ARGH!”
There was another deep cut on his pale face. Napaj had also watched her sister treatment and she too had been angered. In her other hand was a yellow fan that dripped with blood. Glenn realized his hand: he stared for a long moment then stormed away. Napaj joined her kin on the ground of the garden.
“Thank you,” Was all Tpyge could utter. That was enough. The three of them joined in a group embrace and were silent.   
Stu sighed: it was better when siblings got along and loved each other. They looked like a wonderful portrait, painted with pastels. He stared at them for a long time until he realized their father standing at the entrance of the garden. He looked at the daughters, then at Stu. He smiled: Stu smiled back.
“Daddy!” Stu turned to see the three girls: they were young children again. They all ran, embracing him tightly. He smiled again but with tears of joy running down his face.
There was the sound of thunder which made Stu jump a little: a rain cloud floated down, pouring down rain. Out of the cloud came Cory and Carrie. Carrie wore a white jumpsuit with black wings while her brother was the opposite.
“See how deep for the love family is?” Asked Cory.
“Listen and learn.” Carrie added.
The two of them faced each other, placing their hands in one another. They lifted there faces towards the sky. Slowly, they began to float up into the heavens, holding onto one another. A beam of light covered them both: soon they had disappeared into the sky.


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2004-07-07 [mywolfalways]: "...she *begged in a *pleading voice." <--That sentence is redundant. "He smiled: Stu smiled back." <--need a ; not : You also have a few periods where there should be commas when people are talking.

2004-07-07 [mywolfalways]: Aside from the typos, this chapter was very nice. Again, I think more detail would have been nice, but I always say that. ^_^ I really liked how the story made the point on this one. I think it is a very important lesson to learn.

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