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Page name: Chapter Twenty Two of Violent Vibes [Logged in view] [RSS]
2004-05-17 01:50:19
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Chapter Twenty Two


Stu was asleep: it had been a long time since had slumbered peacefully. He didn't know where he was but all he knew is the this bed had been the softest one he had ever slept in. 
“Mister?” Stu stirred: he didn't want to wake. “Mister, wake up please.”
She said please, he thought to himself. She was polite: the least he could do was open his eyes to show he was alive. He opened them to stare into the face of an African American girl dressed as an African queen.
“Yes! Your awake!” She said gleefully. “Points for me!”
“Not likely!” Came another voice. An Egyptian girl in Ancient Egyptian clothing came in. She carried a golden goblet on a golden tray. “I'll be the one when he tastes my wine.”
She sat on the bed next to him, handing him the goblet. He took it gratefully even though he was nervous about drinking it. He ogled at the crimson liquid for awhile until he gulped half of it down. He swallowed it: it was gratifying.
“He likes it! I'm winning!” She smirked.
“Well I was the one who made the bed!” Snapped the African girl.
“What about me?” A Japanese girl in a geisha came in. “I'm the one preparing all of his meals! Did you two possibly think father would choose you?”
The girls began to bicker uncontrollably. Stu just watched: daze and confused. Why where they fighting? Suddenly, the door swung opened. All three girls were silenced and turned to the door where a hunched figure who was using a cane. It made its way down the stairs, towards the three of them.
“Father!” they all gasped.
The man stared then shook his head. “Daughters,” He began. “You sadden me! Why must you bicker like this? Being better than the other will not help you at all.”
“But father----” they began.
“No, I must rest.” He said.
He shuffled off and disappeared into another room. The three girls looked at each other: in a huff, they all stormed away. Stu sighed: why was working together so hard for these three? They needed to have a lesson taught to them by his twin students: Cory and Carrie.

Cory and Carrie we twins from China. It seemed weird to him but they were TV twins. They finshed each others sentences and seemed to do just about everything together. They even wore matching outfits from time to time too! Once, Cory actually came to school wearing a skirt matching his sister's! Stu said nothing about this throughout the day until after school. He called Cory to stay after class as well as Carrie.
“Guys, I know you love each other very much but the skirt is just----”
“Isn't it just----” Cory began.
“Slimming on him Mr. D?” asked Carrie.
“You're doing it again! The TV twin thing!”
“It just comes---” Carried stared.
“Naturally!”
“Well can't you stop it?”
“We can't do that!” Carrie said. “We're best friends and we love each other very much!”
“We couldn't stop finishing each other's sentences if we tried!” Cory smiled.

Stu admired those two: they had a deep love that you usually didn't see in siblings. He sighed: he wish he knew what was going on with these three. Maybe he could help. He heard the geisha girl behind him mumbling. He turned to see her doing a lovely flower arrangement.
“Hello!” He sat down beside her.
“Hello honorable guest,” She got up and bowed. “Is there anything I can get you?”
“yes, I would like to get something from you. I'd like to know your names please.”
She paused for a moment seeming really surprised. “I am Napaj. The other two were my sisters Aynek and Tpyge.”
“What is this place exactly?”
“The Three Countries Inn. Papa told us that were are receiving two very special guests. So far you are the first one.”
The first one? Who could the second possibly be? He had been the only person here except----no, not him! Of all people, why in the world would it be him?
“I know I will impress you both!” Her voice suddenly became prideful. “I will be the one Papa chooses!”
Stu decided to leave Napaj to her work and search around the inn. It was incredibly roomy yet full of warmth. It was decorated with Japanese, African and Egyptian arts such as vases and gems. He strolled about until he came upon a lovely garden like he had seen before at the house of Da Vinci. In the middle of the garden was Tpyge, on her knees with a plate of food. Wait, who was she serving? Stu moaned when he realized it was his greatest nightmare recurring: Glenn.


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2004-06-03 [mywolfalways]: - I like the description used when he goes to the garden. The description of the girls was pretty nice too. The use of “you” should not be used when writing a story. Instead of writing “that *you usually saw…”, use something like “that was usually seen…” Tense conflict in the first paragraph: *is

2004-06-03 [mywolfalways]: Typos: *daze = dazed, *where = were, *Carried = Carrie; there was also “…that were are…” should either be *we are or *we’re.

2004-06-05 [Blaze the Nameless]: Wow, thanks!

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