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(Logo by the masterful [Gryph])

Nothing to do with cheese! It's just a tax dodge!

The entrance door is low and anyone much taller than a dwarf must stoop to get in. A fire is burning steadily on one wall, and it spreads a warm glow through the rest of the room. In front of the fire a chess set sits on a small table in between a couple of comfortable looking chairs.
There is a raised area that looks like it would be used as a stage (a fine harp is already set upon it welcoming anyone to play), and beside that is a closed door with a sign nailed to it that reads "Bugger Off!"
To the right of the room a half dozen stools are placed in front of a well polished bar. A wide selection of liquors and inebriating brews are visible on the shelved walls behind.
And to the left, tucked away in the shadows of the last corner is a table bordered by heavy wooden bench seats.
All in all it's a rather small room, but cosy and quite inviting. The proprietors, [Stormy] and [BadCat] are terribly proud of their little establishment.

For previous versions of The Cheese Shop, go to Dead_Cheese ....
Blimey, filling up fast here! Dead_Cheese2 for the next drunken episodes.
Dead_Cheese3 to reminisce about Oompa Loompas and Rocky Horror re-enactments, and something about druggy Elmos and eating sharks.
Bloody hell, Dead_Cheese4 for butterflies, "cookeys" (are nice), and bottled brain matter. Next up: Purple mead, cleaning fluid, and way too many "Oh gosh, I just woke up, how did I get here?"s.
Dead_Cheese5 for proof that Rana is evil, homemade tasers and giant thoughtbubbles.

---

[Arctik] hurls a screwdriver at Willow. "Don't think so loud, ye flamin' adjective! You don't know what you're musing about." The ceiling once again creaks, and a small plume of silvery, sparking dust trickles from an indeterminate location onto the floor. "Oh shit. Does anyone here know anything about fairies?"

"well they're supposed to die if u say u dont believe in them," suggests [dilandau].

"And their little bones get caught in your mouth," BC adds helpfully.

"And you can pick them up by the arms or legs and pull their wings off," Willow puts in with a devilish grin.

"Yes." Jewl answers from her spot on an unusually ugly purple and lime green cushion which she had been slowly tearing apart, thread by thread. "I know a bit. Why, pixie problems? You know it must have been the sparkly Furbies with the orange bald spots that made this cushion. I mean, come on, everyone knows you don't use Mauve thread in a cross-haired stitch. You use Grey-Pink LAVENDER thread."

Willow raises an incredulous eyebrow at Jewl's statement. "What's the world coming to these days?" she wonders, shaking her head. "You can't trust anyone to do anything right anymore. Nobody knows what the hell they're doing. Tsk."

For lack of anything better to do, Willow spontaneously combusts.

BC wakes up after centuries of slumber. "Ooowah. I feel like Sleeping," she muffles a yawn, "Beauty. My feet are numb, and my mouth tastes like moth balls. It itty bitty type." She stumbles over to the bar and scoops up some stale peanuts from the floor, stuffing them into her mouth. "Mmm, chewy. Who's up for a birthday?"

Willow, having decided to celebrate Halloween not only with sweets and, well, more sweets, but also with a trip to Elftown, stretches her cramped and charred limbs. "Eh, I just had one." She goes to brush a bit of burnt flesh off of her shoulder, and her entire arm collapses into a heap of ash. Her brow furrows curiously. "Well that can't be good."

"Here, have some stickytape. Stickytape will make it better," BC mumbles, handing over a small guinea pig. "If you put cheese with it, it will be even better. Kind of like capsicum sultanas." She dances a quick little jig to prove her point.

"i thought you guys didnt sell cheese," says [dilandau]. 

"We don't sell it, but we sure as hell eat a lot of it." BC jerks up the leg of her pants to reveal a pale oozing substance on her right shin. "Look! Part of me has turned to brie!" She dips a finger into the goop and slurps it off happily. "Absolutely divine. Anyone wanna taste of cat-brie?"

"Cat-brie? No thanks, I think Jewl-Gouda is better, but unfortunately I have none at the moment..." Jewl says, a small sprinkle of dust coming from the ceiling, where she had been tossed after Willow's explosion.

"just.....ew," [dilandau] says before running to the back to throw up.

"what's this I hear about Cat-Brie?" asks [fungi] curiously as he enters [BadCat]'s and [Stormy]'s fine establishment. I am the famed cheese conosouier, [fungi] (pardon the pun). does anyone want to try my mishcotta?

"I hate cheese," Willow says abruptly, nabbing the guinea pig from BC. She pockets it, just in case she finds a need for it in the future. "I think I'll call him Butter."

[LustForLike] orders pizza - with cheese: and all without making a sound. He gets the impression the person he ordered from was somewhat confused, but puts it down to them not being a pizza delivery company, rather than to his silent ordering; and so he has no reason to suspect his order will not arrive promptly. And with cheese.

Willow, having been resurrected from the dead for the evening for the occasion of possible pizza-eating, wanders around a little bit dazedly and pretends to be a martini.

[Jewl] immediately spots the Willtini, and leaps to the guzzle--- err, I mean, rescue, leaps to the rescue.