Here are some little known facts about HaMekashef, regrouped under two helpful headings:
13 Things You Should Know About HaMekashef &
13 More Things About HaMekashef You Would Never Think of Asking.
13 Things You Should Know About HaMekashef
1. HaMekashef does not like to have his work interrupted for trifle reasons such as dinner, a regime change or the end of the universe.
2. On the other hand, he is always up for tea.
3. Though it is true HaMekashef is particularly irritable when the moon is full, this does not mean he is much less irritable at any other time.
4. HaMekashef takes very long to read Poetry, Prophecy & Philosophy, & believes sacred things deserve contemplation.
5. Electronic systems & other devices that rely on rigorous logic to work properly tend to behave unpredictably in HaMekashef's presence.
6. HaMekashef's supernatural powers come from his special connection to the Sitra Ahra, which is the plane of existence through which the Yezer Ahra influences the ordinary world. The Yezer Ahra is the Evil Inclination. In other words, HaMekashef has the magical ability to make things (& people) go wrong. He may also, to some degree, stop this from happening. In this respect, HaMekashef is not different from most mortals. He is just a little more perceptive.
7. HaMekashef's one weakness is pumpkin pie. His favourite colours are green & purple. His favourite bird is the raven. His favourite flower is the thistle. His favourite tree is the oak. His favourite smell is linden blossom.
8. HaMekashef has begun more projects than he can remember & is interested in virtually everything. When his physical body dissolves these attachments are bound to keep his Spirit on Earth for at least a thousand years.
9. The Beith HaMekashef is not only shaped like a pear - it is a pear. There is no particular reason for this.
10. Rumour has it HaMekashef's true name is Etienne Domingue, & that his real body lives somewhere in the vicinity of the St-Francis River, in the picturesque Eastern Townships. Some people have ventured so far as to claim he is in fact an undergraduate student at Bishop's University, in Religion & Music. Rumours being what they are, none of these data are verifiable.
11. HaMekashef believes in Everything, which is tantamount to believing in Nothing & a great deal more complicated than believing in Anything, although perhaps not so difficult as believing in Something.
12. HaMekashef is the Prefect of Education & Spiritual Warfare in a secret organization known as the Commonwealth which will eventually take over the universe.
13. HaMekashef is, unsurprisingly & irremediably, single.
13 More Things About HaMekashef You Would Never Think of Asking
1. HaMekashef has never lost his faith, although he has misplaced it on numerous occasions.
2. HaMekashef's soul is hidden in a black egg, placed in a casket carved from the wood of the peridexion tree, in a cave, on an invisible island, on lake Manasarovar – & guarded by trolls.
3. It is for sale. Bidding starts at eternal youth, charisma, & $1 000 000 000.
4. HaMekashef is neither pro-choice nor pro-life, & does not think that people who are incapable of bearing children (more particularly: human males) should have a say in the debate. Likewise, he is neither against nor in favour of gay marriage, being himself neither gay nor married.
5. The Names of HaMekashef's five dimutim (forms) are Hakim, Coroìn, Usko, Pertristus, Barakiel & Mutu. They translate as Judge, Crown, Dream, Moaner, Thundergod & Silence, respectively.
6. Of the five dimutim, Barakiel is the strongest, Usko screams the loudest, Coroìn thinks the fastest, & Pertristus cries the most.
7. HaMekashef's name number is 7, which is not, in this particular instance, a very lucky number. His birth-number is 8.
8. HaMekashef's stories write themselves & his drawings draw themselves. Complaints should be addressed to the artwork, not the artist.
9. He does not think there must necessarily be life before birth, after death, or any time in between. He is himself half-past life & more than a little concerned about it.
10. HaMekashef does not find Sheol's antechambers particularly inviting, & for this reason prefers calling up to going down.
11. HaMekashef does not like to go to your parties, to dress formally, or to call you “sir.” On the other hand, he likes to go to your
parties, to dress
formally, & to call you “
sir.”
12. HaMekashef can read minds perfectly clearly. The only problem is that he suffers from a minor form of mediumistic dyslexia.
13. HaMekashef is actually triskaidekapho
bian.
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