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Quotes from

History

Lil Emma's page

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David Gleeson John Taplin? Tapelin?
John Just call me Tapas. Everyone else does
David Gleeson Why? 'Cos you're small and Spanish?


John I made this monster sandwich. Ahhh it was like getting a kiss from God! Not that I'm religious or anything....


*talking about realist literary critics*
David Gleeson He wrote about real people. Not about someone who's trying to shag Mr. Darcy


*After seeing a map of Europe in 1500*
Annelise Belgium doesn't exist? But what about the chocolate!!


David Gleeson Would Jesus say "I'm rich, I'm saved, screw you"?


John I understand tramps better than I understand most women


Stine That shirt is very circus-y...Do you think he's gay?


Joe Street As you can tell I'm either not David Gleeson or I've lost a lot of weight *Chorus of 'Oohs'* What? I'm just stating the truth


*Talking about red and grey squirrels*
David Gleeson Yeah the grey race is taking over from the red race. Can squirrels be racial? I dunno
Lil Emma Oh can you not just imagine a grey squirrel walking up to a red and just going "Hey nigga"?


Lil Emma He smells German. Smells? I mean sounds
John 'Cos that's not racist at all


John Sex with him would be very rigid...


Joe Street Municipal Reform! Prepare to be blown out of the water with excitement over Municipal Reform. Actually it's really boring so I'll just go over this quickly. Consider it like bran. Tastes awful but it keeps you regular


John Can I draw a goatee on Pudsey?
Richie What? Tickle a goat?


Richie Sooo juicy
John *looks up worriedly*
Richie ...I meant the chicken


John I've always wanted to walk up to a girl and just say 'I've got a 9 inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears'


*Talking about the Titanic and how long it took to sink*
David Gleeson That's how long it really took you know. So Leo could run around and nearly be drown, and not be drown, and nearly be drown, and not be drown, and nearly be drown, and not be drown....And then freeze to death


Stine Right I'm going to go play with my angry women
*John's face just lights up*


John Most people call it a tripod, but all I think of when they say that, is a well endowed midget


Avram Taylor *reading a quote* "We're going to eat this cock for dinner"


John You need to come over for a cocktail party
Stine Is it one of Avram's cocks?


Stine *doodling whilst talking about Palestine and Israel* It looks like I've been drawing a vagina on my paper...


Joe Street Transport, transplant, transmutate...And all other words beginning with 'Trans'. But not Transvestite


Joe Street I've been told that my lectures are very masculine. I used to think this was a compliment on my manlyness. Apparently it's actually a criticism, so I'm going to have a section women. Just for a bit of window dressing because, of course, I am a sexist pig.


Annelise *walks into seminar* There's no need to look so scared!
James Sorry it was just...*gestures* the hair
Annelise What's wrong with my hair? It's just curly
James Oh, I thought it was just windswept...


Annelise That sounds so blonde I should just dye my hair now


Annelise I don't like crisps...I like Pringles
John They ARE crisps


Stine When do you think I'll get my money back?
Lil Emma Well you could always just go in, when you've got your bump, and say "I'm not leaving til I get my money, I'll stand here 'til it pops!"


Max It's a game
Richie You're gay!!


Richie There's a fan page for wanking...
Stine Why do you have to prove it? You're a man. Everyone knows!!


Stine I'm not dripping in your bag


Stine Yeah I hate you. Do you want a crisp? They're poisoned


Lil Emma Just how important ARE the food riots?
John Well it was very important to Russia
Lil Emma This is Transformation of BRITAIN John
Leanne Yeah they started eating people...


Stine *opens the newspaper* Help me look for a small naked guy...


*Anneliese walks away*
Richie Good riddance
Anneliese What?
Richie Good riddance
Anneliese What?
Richie BYE!


Richie Come on Emma, can you not fit you thing in your hole?


John What the hell is that? *tries to wipe something white off his hoodie*
Richie I don't wanna know John
John Oh yes, I have an active sex life. With my hoodie


Joe Street Worse than Gordon Ramsey before botox


Joe Street *raving about JFK's 'perfect' hair* Well until it's blown apart when he's assasinated...


Guy who's name I can't remember *about the TATE Modern* I got yelled at for sitting on the artwork! But, I mean, why put it in the middle of the room if it resembles a bench?


Stine We've got a couch each now. I can spread my legs. *Realises how that sounds* Oh no, not like that!


Michael *To Richie* Yeah you did just stroke my knee there


Michael *After Richie took forever washing his hands* You like to eat shit with clean hands?


Richie I didn't mean to kick a pidgeon into someones face


*About knights*
Richie Yes! Yes yes yes!
Anneliese There's no need to have an orgasm over it


*About the medieval picture 3 Kings and 3 Corpses*
Howard There's worms at work in what's technically called 'the squidgy bits'


Howard Because of course, you're not allowed to say God's being a nasty bastard


Anneliese Feminists just need a good shag


*About getting up and writing about feminism on the board*
Guy who's name I've forgotten Go on Alex, you're a woman


*Talking about Michael Skiving off*
Rosie If I lived with him I'd make him get up
*Richie sniggers*
Rosie Not like that! I mean I'd make him come. Oh no!