Horror Cliches
Dying a virgin? No worries :)

Can't control your urges? Neither can the killer.

Fill in all that apply on this sheet to determine if you're going to live or die:
White
Other

Sexy brunettes=vampire bait

The butler was in a coma in a distant country in another dimension but still did it

Mom and dad said we can talk about anything. Except apparently the psycho/psychos that is/are stalking and killing everybody around you and or the magical and supernatural occurrences that keep happening

Somehow all of the present friends, family members tourists etc are from all different backgrounds and all live up to a separate stereotype--even against the odds.

Mortal injuries? Pfft they're just flesh wounds on this bad ass MOFO

Bang! Let's go find out what that was and let's split up to cover more ground.

The phone lines are cut. Even in 13^th century Amish Country.

Running away? Take the forest over the already running car, lockable house and the fully stocked army base.

Paris Hilton (or any other idiotic ditzy person) intelligence level evolves into the resourceful mind of Macguyver when that person is the last one standing.

The main survivor was nerdy, entirely a mess and not confident in anything until the ending.

Love connections are sparked by finding the corpses of those closest to you hacked to shreds.

The Crazy hobo has seen some shit and should at all times be listened to.

Tough guys finish last. Well they're dead so they don't finish at all.

Let's not pack up while we have legitimate time and resources and are all still together. Let's instead stay behind and kill this thing, thus splitting up, wasting resources and wasting time.

Reality needs background music. Or the characters need to listen to it.

OMG! I'm gonna hide upstairs and trap myself because nobody will ever find me there!

Oh, it was just the cat. The killer isn't over there when he's behind me. DUH! *forehead slap*

Let's stop at this run down gas station even though we have plenty of gas and ask for directions from people who are probably incest and in on it.

Are there no Asian, Indian, American Indian, Middle Eastern, Inuit or Latino actors? Maybe not all in the same movie, but dabble a little?

Hummm..it has to be somebody that knows we're here and who isn't dead...or the five of us who haven't been alone. Who was the only other person who knew we were here again? Oh, no...it couldn't be them...

Magical ways to kill humans? Let's not need magic to kill the milkman. Warlock movies...sure. Vampire movies...sure. Regular psychos shouldn't need to be smitten by God himself.

Ignore all disembodied voices that warn the entire party

Never imitate the killer as a prank. You'll die right after the girl gets pissed at you and leaves you alone.

All teens are stoners, drunks and nymphos with no core values...unless they're the lone virgin who really just doesn't fit in and went along on the trip for the ride and time to be in a distant place that is miles and miles away from civilization.

Intelligence and common sense? That's not cool so why have it?

Evil never dies. It only gets mutilated and comes back more pissed than ever. We're talking exponents.

Brand new car with a tune up on everything with the keys already in the ignition with a full tank of gas...won't start.

Ha! You thought being the fastest on the track team and most in shape would help you against a guy who can tiptoe and catch you? Think again!

Girls lose all grace and balance tripping over the thin air at the worst possible times

Scream! Do nothing else, girls because you're not witty, graceful or able to evade the swiping of a very large heavy object.

Relax girls, your boyfriend dies first.

No matter how dead something looks, keep stabbing it!

When battling zombies, always sever their head or shoot them in the brain. If they still want to eat you after that, just surrender. There's no hope for you anyway.

If you see Brad Pitt dressed as a vampire, hand him over to me for the reward money that nobody else seems to know about....

Stay away from certain geographical locations. Such as: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog, the Bermuda Triangle or any small town in Maine or back ass town that is miles and miles away from any civilization.

Kill the person in the group who suggests that you split up. They will eventually get you killed if you don't.

Anniversary nights of executions, horrible murders, or terrifying rituals should be viewed with fear. Especially on the spot where the event took place. Most especially on even century anniversaries. And certainly if you or a friend is somehow descended from one of the original participants.

If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, that was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately.

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, especially not as a joke. Double especially if you don't believe in that stuff!

Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

The unbelievably charming man is a blood-thirsty vampire. So don't get too attached.

If an item has "evil"/"demonic"/"cursed"/etc in its name/description, this is NOT your cue to start playing with it.