Memoirs of a nun

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Page name: Memoirs of a nun [Logged in view] [RSS]

2009-05-20 23:52:10

Last author: sequeena_rae
Owner: sequeena_rae

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^{Brought to you by [sequeena_rae] and Sister Lisa; [starry_bellend]}

^{There is a moral to every story...Except this one.

Mwahahaha.}

^{This wiki is for Sister Lisa. She has decided to become a nun. Yes, a nun.}

^{Sister Lisa's journey in pictures. Additional words by [sequeena_rae]}

^{Past memoirs are kept here: Memoirs.}

^{New! Memoirs talks!}

^{Memoirs of a nun in words by [starry_bellend]}

^{Entry nine - The mods versus count Dracula!}

^{After enjoying a steak and ale pie in the greyhound, I made my way in the dead of night towards a run down old building in the middle of Transylvania (I am forced to reside here these days after being removed from every other fucking country on the face of the planet!). I was then joined by my good friend Sarah.

Before entering the building I took out the holy blood of Christ and blessed the building by downing the bottle. We then proceeded inside and were greeted by one hell of a fucking shit hole. We thought fuck it God will keep us safe and so we got down to it (sleeping that is).

We had been asleep but 10 minutes when I was roused by a strange voice, which I thought in my drowsy state was calling "I vant to suck your breast" but I was later informed by my companion that it was actually my blood that he wanted. We stood up and stared at the creature. "Right! I've had enough of this fucking shit! Piss off out now before we're forced to beat you down!" With that Sarah was wrestled to the floor by the being and a syringe was stuck in her neck. I was in shock as he drew blood from my friend. He then squirted some into his mouth and the remainder was squirted into the face of an old woman who happened to be passing through the building. He than made his way towards me and I gave him my best "I cant believe you've just egged me" eyes. I could do nothing but use my holy powers to pray to god. I fell to my knees and began chanting "Neef neef neef neef". I was then joined in my chant by Sarah from the floor. We finally realised that this wasn't going to work and I resigned myself to my fate. He lifted up the syringe to my neck when suddenly he bent over and squealed.

It was only then that I realised that Sarah had stuck a light bulb in his japs eye, and that he was now paralysed. Before running for our lives we stood for a minute and laughed until we shat ourselves.

We then ran, to where who knows but I'll tell you one thing, the fucking wind blew off my habit, and I had to make a prick of myself chasing after it down the street. We then decided that we would travel to Paris to see if the virgin Mary really has bleeding eyes, and also to see ZA BOYZ in concert on the 15th.}

^{To be continued...}

^{This wiki is a piss take.

In other words, you get offended, it's bloody tough.}

^{Back to;

[starry_bellend]

[sequeena_rae]

We are the mods!}