Mission Stories - Rules

So the infamous missionary rules. These are something that everyone in the church seems to know about, yet they are somehow secret. As a missionary, you can just kind of refer to the rules and people will nod understandingly: "ah yes, them rules." But what are they, really?

In some other sections I have already referred to some and for the reasons for rules: it's pretty much all about safety, spiritual and physical. Because let's face it, it's a terrible idea to put a bunch of 19-21 year-olds together, basically governing themselves. There are all sorts of stories of stupid missionaries doing stupid things, getting injured or having law enforcement involved, causing a scene or an embarrassment to the church, or getting sent home from their mission. (The ninjormon explains how it's actually ninjanaries that prevent a lot of these stupid things).

The rules are written in a little white handbook, it's pretty clear and straightforward. It's referred to as 190 years worth of missionary experience (so even if some rules seem a little strange, it all comes from experience and inspiration). When I got to the MTC they slammed a Swedish rulebook in my hand and said "have this read by tuesday." I looked at it and despaired at my weak Swedish and went to ask them to give me one in English. Then later I found that my Swedish wasn't that weak, the book is just written in a pretty formal language :P I read the book through in both languages a number of times with different companions, so I did become familiar with it in the end :P

The most famous missionary rule is of course "be always together with your companion (except in the bathroom)." This alone provides so much safety and protection, but it also helps you work hard and keep going, and keeping it really increases unity in a companionship. In the MTC we were told that you never want to hear the question "where's your companion?" - s/he should always be next to you. It was much more intense in the MTC, in the field we were a little more relaxed.

The most infamous missionary rule is the one about hugging. I say infamous because everybody knows it - but it's not actually a rule! It doesn't say anywhere in the white handbook that you are not allowed to hug members of the opposite sex, it's just some strange culture thing. It does talk about inappropriate relationships and breaking the law of chastity, but hugging is not included in the list. And therefore, when I was dying, I hugged every elder at the Ring (and later in the mission home) that I was friends with :P I went up to them and asked "are you the kind of elder that hugs dying sister missionaries?" Some said yes, some hesitated then gave in, and some said no. Which is all cool. My point was that it's a personal choice. I did also sometimes hug male investigators when I got transferred. Depended on the person.

I think the least liked missionary rules have to do with traffic safety. When biking you have to wear helmets - but that's just sane - but it's not everyone's favourite. But the one incredible rule is that when you back up a car, the other missionary has to stand outside the car and help the driver and make sure you don't back into anything. I was this backer-upper for almost my entire stay in Norrland (6 of the 8 months I was there, for 2 months we didn't have a car). The reasoning behind this rule is to help keep down the amount of damage to missionary cars and making insurance easier, because so many accidents and dents in bumpers are done exactly this way. (The irony is that our car in Norrland got backed into by someone else...)

And then some other interesting missionary rules! Like, you're not allowed to chew gum in public. I take that this is a public image thing. Another one is that you are also not allowed to do any dangerous sports like riding horses, winter sports etc... You are not allowed on/in private airplanes or boats, and swimming is also forbidden. Some have tried to imagine that the reason for missionaries having to stay away from water (other than in baptising-situations) has something to do with a vague scripture reference (about the destroyer having rule over the waters?) but this is just simply not the case, it really is about safety. So many things can go wrong when in water with such ease of it becoming fatal.

In Sweden the most broken rules are to do with calling on the phone, and not leaving your area. The rules say you shouldn't leave your assigned area - but people do, all the time for various reasons. I think it's because we have a lot of permission to leave (for conferences and district meetings) that you just stop thinking about the rule and end up going to Stockholm for P-day. Or something. It's not a huge deal, though some missionaries take it too far, too.

And now, the story of my stupidest rule-breaking. This is really stupid. My last transfer, I was with my greenie in the elders' area for District Meeting. The elders were going to somehow shaft us of lunch. I think this was the same time when our D.L. has 100% wool trousers and it had rained all of a sudden, so his trousers were wet, and wet wool smells, and they were going to have a big teach afterwards. So he needed to go home. So the plan was given: how 'bout you sisters come with us to our apartment and we'll all have lunch together. And I don't know why I was being in a strangely flippant mood and I said "sure" as cool as I could, and then it was down to my greenie to say yes or no, and eventually she budged and said yes. Afterwards we felt really dumb about it, it did not make us feel good about life or ourselves that we'd just gone against the rules for no real reason. :/

But there were times when there was reason to break rules. One time I was with the afore-mentioned greenie and we got stuck in a town far away. There was a problem with the trains I believe. And as we were looking at the train board, all horrified, a car pulled up behind it. I stepped away to let the driver look at the board, but he opened the door and asked us if we were going back to town. We said yes and mentioned that the train was not going to come. And the man said "jump in, I'll drive you." Now missionaries aren't allowed to get a car ride alone with a person of the opposite sex (though we'd done it with president's permission before). But this was not permission-time. There also was no time to get permission. But I made a quick executive decision and took the offer. And I feel fine about it. We talked during the car ride so it was a good contact, and hey, the man got some serious celestial brownie points for helping the missionaries. And I really think that he was sent by God. He saw us all stranded and in trouble, and He sent help. That's how He operates.

Overall I'm really fond of rules (as a missionary and in general), because usually they do help, and I will do my best to keep them. But I think the most important thing with all rules is knowing why they exist, why they were made and what they are meant to do. Because once you know the rules (and knowing here implies knowing what the rules are in order to keep them to the best of your ability, not learning what the rules are to see what you can get away with - difference in attitude there), you know when to break them and when not.