The netpaper about Elftowners, by Elftowners, for Elftowners.
HUMOR
Several vital events in any Rock show
by [All_Most PUNK]
1. When the band enters, the audience explodes! That way, nobody listens to the first (and best) song except the people in the front, who are too busy moshing to listen anyway.
2. At some point, the singer will run out of voice and force the audience to sing. This usually happens around the 3rd or 4th song.
3. Security people confiscate large amounts of alcohol, belts and personal effects.
4. Next day, the security people will be found drunk as hell with waaay too many wallets.
5. By now, I’ve had something like ten wallets stolen from me.
6. Let’s face it, the guy doing back up vocals doesn’t know the lyrics, which isn’t so bad, considering that the drummer is still playing songs from his previous band “Intravenous Worms.”
7. The guest musician we’ve all been waiting for comes onstage. Sadly, because of the party pre-show, his guitar solo resembles too closely the sound of a rocking chair.
8. The singer stands on the amp! Result: the amp falls and the sparks touch three people in the audience. Nothing bad; only one dies.
9. The annoying guys selling fanzines. (Yeah, inside joke. I have a fanzine :P )
10. The “musicians” go backstage and come back. Backstage and back. Backstage and back. But it doesn’t matter how many times they do it; the songs are still soporific.
11. The big, big, biiiig guy on the entrance lets you keep your dagger, but confiscates the Snoopy key ring your grandma gave to you because it is dangerous.
12. 28 Metallica t-shirts and not even one of the band that is playing.
13. The singer talks to the audience, plays with them, plays a song, and plays dead so they will stop throwing things at him.
14. The second guitar asks for water for the kids in the audience. The kids throw up, confronted with the idea of drinking something that doesn’t include alcohol.
15. When you buy your ticket, they give you a t-shirt... a Metallica one!
back to the TH 11 Humor
Stumble!