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Page name: TH 13 Humor: Notes to Self [Logged in view] [RSS]
2006-03-11 07:27:14
Last author: Kaimee
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The Town Herald


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The netpaper about Elftowners, by Elftowners, for Elftowners.


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Note to Self Parody


By [Kileaiya]



Notes to self:

1. Hand-raise an army of chickens.
2. They'll think your their mommy. You may now use them to take over the world.
3. Don't walk into the principal's office and yell over the loud-speaker 'Dance, my puppets, dance!'
4. When it is Halloween, steal the children's candy. Do not give it to them.
5. Threaten to take away the light bulb in your closet because the monster in there is scared of the dark.
6. Scratch that; he'll just steal your bedside lamp... damned monster.
7. You are a human, not a cat.
8. Miracle Whip talks to me.
9. Hide the rubber band man's rubber bands.
10. Shut up, voices! I'll poke you with a Q-tip again.
11. Saying 'My kingdom for a Platypus' will just get you odd looks.
12. Besides, you don't like platypuses.
13. Singing show tunes loudly in public is fun.
14. Burn all romance novels.
15. For they are evil.
16. That voice in your head that keeps telling you to strip nekkid and run around in the streets; don't listen to him.
17. That doll IS possessed, run when it begins talking.
18. You can't fly.
19. Told you so, now you have a broken arm, dontcha?
20. Hide from the men in white coats your mum called.
21. They don't just want to play.
22. Put that back.
23. It will bite you that's why.
24. Anime will steal your soul.
25. It's ok you didn't need it anyway.
26. Duct Tape does NOT fix everything.
27. My ISP is out to get me.
28. Never ever feed the ducks.
29. There is no such thing as as a fairy.
30. Disregard that last note; voice number 8 LIES!
31. Memorize random books and quote from them often.


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