The netpaper about Elftowners, by Elftowners, for Elftowners.
There and Back Again:Rebirth of a Traveler
by [Faery]
There is the frenzy of hopping on the plane, then the seven hour flight makes you come down to earth. When you reach the airport on the other side of the ocean, you realize that it’s over and done. This life as an exchange student, in a foreign country that you have come to consider as yours, will most probably never happen again. At least not in this way, not with these people you have come to call your friends, and who will soon be scattered all over the planet. You have to recreate your life from what it was before you ever left it, months ago. The process of rebirth isn’t always easy.
In this world where globalization has become a daily reality, the number of students going on a foreign exchange for a semester or a year, to experiment the world and learn about life in a different way, is ever-growing. The untrained eye can see this as a wonderful, somewhat romantic experience-- and don’t take me wrong, it truly is! However, the amount of adaptation needed is too often overlooked by candidates to foreign studies, because it is not once but twice that they go through the ripping feeling of having to leave a beloved place.
Leaving parents, friends and sometimes a life partner at home is always a big step to take, but when a person chooses to leave on an exchange, she is usually well aware and well prepared for it. It took me two weeks after my arrival in Sweden to recreate a circle of friends, and I owe many thanks to [
Hedda] for this, who was kind enough to welcome me and help me discover a bit of his country to ease my adaptation. However, the situation often is that foreign students are looking for each other’s support and friendship. Everyone is in the same boat; they might as well share meals and parties, hardships, fears, and grief, but also joys and good moments! Friendships are brewed quickly in this atmosphere.
The situation is different when the moment comes to head back home. You might not get to see all those friends you have met and spent wonderful times with again for several years, if for ever. Before even leaving Sweden, I wanted to make plans to go back to Eastern Europe in less than a year to meet with my Polish, Bulgarian, Romanian and Czech friends. However, I soon realised that this would not be possible. More than two months after coming back, I am still trying to find a way to visit one of them-- in Mexico-- which, for me, is easier to reach than Europe.
Coming back home means recreating this vibe, and this is not an easy thing to do. First of all, unlike the first break-up from home, most foreign students are ill-prepared for the return trip. It always feels so very far, until the very moment you get on the plane! Then, you arrive and most of the time can’t find what you thought you had left behind. Being an exchange student makes you evolve in a way that isn’t given to everyone. The student comes back with more than just their luggage-- they have an emotional baggage of experiences that is greatly different-- whether better or not-- from that of those people he or she left behind months ago. This can make communication difficult, and loneliness is, at times, inevitable. It is very important in those circumstances to create new bonds with people who have lived through something similar. Looking at pictures and dreaming about that time abroad can be very nice, but is sometimes unproductive.
I could try giving advice to those who are tempted to do what I did. However, this is a very hard task, as each person reacts differently to these situations. However, when coming back, if you can’t revive the bonds you had with your old friends the way they were before, try making some new ones. This way, you will enlarge your social circle, find people with whom to talk about your experiences, and when you’re ready, it will be a small step to kick back in with your old gang!
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