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~WFS! Archives~

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For the week of: 1/12 - 1/18

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Found at www.bongonews.com

Giant Rat Soup (Good Cure for SARS) by Chef Lo Ping Wang



Ingredients:
Must have giant river front rat. Very important. Little rat not do. Make sure you get a live one or crafty vendor will try to sell you small dog if you not careful. I always kill my own. Even have special hammer handed down from revered ancestors. Skin rat and cut off tail. Save tail. I know it seems wasteful but you must take out innards and throw away over left shoulder. Very lucky. You will need about 10 qian salt, 5 qian black pepper, a lock of hair of the sick person, cut fine, Lotus root, Bok Choy, Daikon, and 3 or 4 of the American made Smith Brothers' Cough Drops if you can get them (cherry flavor is best).

Preparation:
You will need at least 20 sheng of water to cook this so make sure it does not stink already. Put rat carcass in pot. Cut up rat tail into small pieces and add to pot. Bring to boil adding spices and let cook for 2 hours. Go and do laundry or till field. Next add vegetables and let cook for another 30 minutes. Serve to patient every time he throw up. 

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Found at www.satiresearch.com

What Not To Say To A Recruiter

Take This Job And...

If there's two things you can count on in this world, it's death, taxes and recruiter phone calls. Wait a sec'; that's three things. Ok, well, in the spirit of counting, here's our Top 10 list of things you should not say when a job recruiter calls you.


10. Would I be a manager or would I have to do real work?

9. I think this phone is tapped. Can we meet at your house instead?

8. What's their policy on sexual harrasment?

7. When you say source code, what exactly to you mean by that?

6. My boss had an issue with on-the-job nudity. Is that a problem?

5. I'm not sure the FBI will let me work on computers anymore.

4. Oh sure, I know those guys. I already hacked into their web site.

3. This is great timing; they've just asked me to pack up my desk.

2. You know the Melissa Virus, that was my idea!

1. My manager has a restraining order against me anyways.

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Found at www.newscientist.com

CD players glued shut to stop piracy

A US record company has issued reviewers with portable CD players that are glued shut to prevent two new albums from being pirated online before their official releases.

Epic Records Group has taken the drastic step of sealing CD players shut and gluing headphones onto them to stop digital copies being made from promotional albums. The albums involved are Riot Act by Pearl Jam and Scarlet's Walk by Tori Amos.

A spokeswoman for Epic told New Scientist: "Obviously we have a problem with piracy and this is one of the ways we're trying to address it. We're trying lots of things."

New albums have appeared early on file sharing networks such as KaZaA, Morpheus and Grokster with a frequency which is alarming record companies. Eminem's The Eminem Show suffered this fate prior to release in May 2002.

"Sign of desperation"

Jim Peters, of the UK lobby group Campaign for Digital Rights (CDR), says this latest measure reflects the difficulty of trying to control listeners' use of digital music.

"It's a sign of desperation," Peters told New Scientist. "I think its time for them to start rethinking their business model because it's getting ridiculous."

CDR has been monitoring the music industries efforts to crack down on piracy ever since copy-protected Compact Discs began appearing in record shops. These disks are encoded to play improperly in computer CD drives, which the group argues infringes on fair use.

Some music companies are indeed considering alternative methods to lure listeners away from downloading pirated songs.

Universal, for example, plans to issue a unique code number with each CD copy of Bon Jovi's new album Bounce. This will provide access to a web site with information on priority concert tickets, as well as previously unreleased tracks.

{Comment from Davorah: WTF??!! This is a TRUE story too! ACK!!}

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"I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?"
Denis Leary

"What's another word for thesaurus?"
Steven Wright

"This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two."
George Burns

"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers."
Daniel J. Boorstin

"Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me."
G.W. Hegel

"To write a diary every day is like returning to one's own vomit."
Enoch Powell

"Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."
Mark Twain

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{Message from Davorah: I Heard two of the best jokes last night at Rob's house...


(Now remember we all were drunk as hell so if you dont find it funny, I'm sorry...AND No Offense to any Mexicans or Cubans...of course!)


Why isn't there a Mexican Olympic team? Because all the runners, jumpers, and swimmers are already in America...


What happens when a Cuban pops a tire? They Drown...}

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