Zombie Island review

Wow, this book is far below average. Firstly, Zombie Island reads like something a teenager wrote, because it was, though I didn't know that going into it. Written by Samantha Hoffman, Zombie Island is a novel about how the nineteen year old Samantha Hoffman would survive the zombie apocalypse. In the first chapter alone, there are several glaring typos, such as the author referring to a can opener as a "can opening" and an incredible lack of creativity when it comes to adjectives. Sentences like "I tuck the waterpot away, then make sure to tuck my blouse into my blue jeans. Then I tucked the rest of the peaches away before finishing the rest of my tasks." Ugh.

The story is a typical zombie apocalypse scenario; a lonely survivor in a big city fights off the undead hoards and is generally better off alone, until they end up with others, and then gosh-oh-gee, things aren't as good for the main character after joining up with complete strangers that they can't manage to get along with. In the case of this book, Samantha is not only avoiding the undead, but also the living. Men called the Zombie Warriors ransack the cities, starting fires and collecting female survivors to keep locked up as their rape victims. When women fight too much or else not enough, they're killed by the Zombie Warriors.

Samantha manages to avoid these Warriors for a bit, though eventually she is caught, and before anything can take place, Ryder, a redneck hero, steps in to kill most of the Warriors (all but the leader of the gang, so that, duh, the can run back into him repeatedly for more predictable rapey-zombie action), and rescues Sam. Ryder then takes Sam to meet his younger brother, Reese, who hits it off with Sam, making way for super awkward barely sexual interactions, written by an obviously sexually frustrated teen who doesn't really know how to write attraction and chemistry into a story.

While Ryder and Reese are both impressed with Sam's hideaway, a third story apartment with a rooftop garden where she grows fresh veggies and collects water, they decide that they have to leave the comfortable and safe home in order to find something safer and more remote; an island where they can clear out all the zombies and make a home for themselves without worry of the undead coming after them. On the way, of course, they step in to save other rape victims from the Warriors.

I don't even know what to say about this. I get that the author was writing about her ideas for what she would do in the case of a zombie apocalypse, but the idea that the majority of men would suddenly turn into vicious rapist-warriors and this blonde teen would swoop in to save all of the other women while still needing to be saved by some big strong southern men seems pretty fucking retarded. Add the stupid plot to the glaring typos and redundant phrasing, and you get this crappy novel. It's not the worst thing I've ever read, but again, it is definitely a below-average read.
/ [Nioniel]

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