(don't put this on your house)
Welcome to the John McCririck Wiki Page.
BOO HIM, BOO HIM
(don't put this on your house)
He is a character that you either love or hate. Most people tend to hate the fat hairy twat. Others may adore him for his ability of telling it "how it is".
This Wiki is here for you to discuss the oaf, and a place for one and all to come together and chill out.
Johns sexist comment of the week:
Why is a laundrett a really bad place to pick up women?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
(don't put this on your house)
HOW DARE YOU
Name: John McCririck
Age: Wont say
Sign: Wont say
Lives: Lake District
Simon Says...
Celebrity big brother UK. First year, the money went to Comic Relief. Second year, to charity. Third year? The money went to Bez out of the Happy Mondays.
Progress, my friends. And the nice thing is, you know he'll spend that £50,000 wisely, squirreling it away in offshore accounts, pension plans. That sort of thing.
Bez's victory. The right decision. But nothing could disguise the fact that (apart from Jackie Stallone's epic appearance) CBB3 had only one real star.
John McCririck. More rebellious than Bez. Less unpleasent than Lisa L'Anson. Converted more people to feminism than Germaine Greer. And has more realistic tits than Caprice.
He delivered and delivered and delivered.
Though even his re-appearance couldn't save a dismal final week, made all the more painful by TV's Mrs Shouty Woman.
Davina. Who continued to lie about the closeness of votes. Spent the entire contest dressed as Guy Ritchie's gamekeeper. And could'nt even get an answer to the week's key question.
"What is the strangest place Caprice has ever had sex?"
Though I gather the answer would be either:
a) In a stable relationship. Or...
b) Not in a millionaire's bed.
You see, John was the reason why people watched Big Brother, and therefore the reason why this WIKI exists. All hail John, not just a sexist twat.
John on Big Brother
What do you think you'll find is the hardest thing about being in the Celebrity Big Brother house?
Boredom and the egos of the others trying to win. I'm not frightened of Big Brother - well not yet anyway!
What will you miss most?
Booby (my wife), my cats and dogs and the news.
What will you be glad to get away from?
Nothing.
How long do you think you'll last in the house?
24 hours - I want to be the fastest voted off evictee. If it was a horserace they'd say "he's not trying". I'm going in there knowing I'm not going to win and not trying to win.
What do your family and friends think about you being in Celebrity Big Brother?
I've got no friends. I've only got Booby.
Can you cook and what's your signature dish?
I can't cook. My father never went in the kitchen and neither do I.
Why do you think you'll make a good housemate?
I won't. I don't have a career to enhance. I'm a failed bookie, a failed punter and a failed journalist.
Who would be your ideal Big Brother housemate?
Kate Winslet.
Who would be your nightmare Big Brother housemate?
Flat-chested, bossy women. Someone like Germaine Greer or Christine Hamilton.
Name three things you will be taking into the Big Brother house
Cigars, loose-leaf tea and a soft pillow.
IM NOT GOING TO TALK UNTIL I GET MY DIET COKES
MEMBERS OF THE JOHN WIKI:
To join, just say wether you love or hate him, and give a reason
[
jobby] - Love the fat bastard - hes outrageous and comes out with the funniest things.
[
-chitch-] - Thinks he's tant as. Big Bro was tant with him in it.
[
mannaz] - hate him! he picks his nose and eats his snot! MINGIN
[
LAURALOVE.] john is the best, i love him!
[
kirst] he is mingin and shud neva be seen with his top off
[
Sunrose] Our resident gaurd and dear John lover
[
xXxsxy_rachxXx]u gota love john!!!!lol hes hilarious!
[
Orgasmo] Any guy that makes so much fuss over diet coke gets love from me! and when i see him i
Will slap him!
[
.:.Close. the. god. damn. door.:.] He is horrible! yuk!
Now use this bottom section to discuss -->
Stumble!