Memoirs of a nun

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2009-05-20 23:52:10

Last author: sequeena_rae
Owner: sequeena_rae

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^{Brought to you by [sequeena_rae] and Sister Lisa; [starry_bellend]}

^{There is a moral to every story...Except this one.

Mwahahaha.}

^{This wiki is for Sister Lisa. She has decided to become a nun. Yes, a nun.}

^{Sister Lisa's journey in pictures. Additional words by [sequeena_rae]}

^{Past memoirs are kept here: Memoirs.}

^{New! Memoirs talks!}

^{Memoirs of a nun in words by [starry_bellend]}

^{Entry nine - The mods versus count Dracula!}

^{After enjoying a steak and ale pie in the greyhound, I made my way in the dead of night towards a run down old building in the middle of Transylvania (I am forced to reside here these days after being removed from every other fucking country on the face of the planet!). I was then joined by my good friend Sarah.

Before entering the building I took out the holy blood of Christ and blessed the building by downing the bottle. We then proceeded inside and were greeted by one hell of a fucking shit hole. We thought fuck it God will keep us safe and so we got down to it (sleeping that is).

We had been asleep but 10 minutes when I was roused by a strange voice, which I thought in my drowsy state was calling "I vant to suck your breast" but I was later informed by my companion that it was actually my blood that he wanted. We stood up and stared at the creature. "Right! I've had enough of this fucking shit! Piss off out now before we're forced to beat you down!" With that Sarah was wrestled to the floor by the being and a syringe was stuck in her neck. I was in shock as he drew blood from my friend. He then squirted some into his mouth and the remainder was squirted into the face of an old woman who happened to be passing through the building. He than made his way towards me and I gave him my best "I cant believe you've just egged me" eyes. I could do nothing but use my holy powers to pray to god. I fell to my knees and began chanting "Neef neef neef neef". I was then joined in my chant by Sarah from the floor. We finally realised that this wasn't going to work and I resigned myself to my fate. He lifted up the syringe to my neck when suddenly he bent over and squealed.

It was only then that I realised that Sarah had stuck a light bulb in his japs eye, and that he was now paralysed. Before running for our lives we stood for a minute and laughed until we shat ourselves.

We then ran, to where who knows but I'll tell you one thing, the fucking wind blew off my habit, and I had to make a prick of myself chasing after it down the street. We then decided that we would travel to Paris to see if the virgin Mary really has bleeding eyes, and also to see ZA BOYZ in concert on the 15th.}

^{To be continued...}

^{This wiki is a piss take.

In other words, you get offended, it's bloody tough.}

^{Back to;

[starry_bellend]

[sequeena_rae]

We are the mods!}

2006-11-05 [starry_bellend]: Sister Lisa has decided to go into hiding for a year as the end of the world is coming tonight. This is an oficial warning to all those sinical bastards out there! Doom and Gloom!

2006-11-05 [sequeena_rae]: ...Cynical even >.> <.< *is so not being patronizing* xD

2006-11-05 [starry_bellend]: Dont patronise me !! lmaoo it was early in the afternoon :P

2006-11-05 [sequeena_rae]: I'm not >.> XD
Only just woken up then eh? xD

2006-11-05 [starry_bellend]: Lmao ish lol i'd woken up at 9 but stayed in bed untill bout half past 11 :P

2006-11-05 [sequeena_rae]: I got up earlier than you!!! :D

2006-11-05 [starry_bellend]: Lmao for a change ini :P I was twated this morning couldnt open one eye lmao, must of been the thought of going back to college

2006-11-05 [sequeena_rae]: Eugh, don't even remind me xD

2006-11-05 [starry_bellend]: Ini like, oh well we got a three hour break lamo

2006-11-05 [sequeena_rae]: Oh yeah!! :D

2006-11-05 [starry_bellend]: Ini like omg i got fuckin cymraeg homework to do and all now :@ forgot about that

2006-11-05 [sequeena_rae]: Oh bollocks!

2006-11-05 [starry_bellend]: Ini like cunt ! Good fing though my mothers just gone to buy sparklers lmao i be there now writing my name like a child pmsl

2006-11-05 [sequeena_rae]: Lmao! You bloody nonce xD

2006-11-05 [starry_bellend]: OMG you should see the size on the fucker aimee just walked in with lmao!! its bigger than me , a fiver in spar apparently ill bet itll be shit though ini, but if you hear a booomm and see my house go up in flames tell bernadine ill be in tuesday lmao!

2006-11-05 [sequeena_rae]: O.O; LMAO!

2006-11-05 [starry_bellend]: Ini lk ill be bald tomorrow now pmsl

2006-11-05 [sequeena_rae]: Alopecia Lisa! XD
Hey, it rhymes!

2006-11-05 [starry_bellend]: Meaning? and in what lingo lmao

2006-11-05 [sequeena_rae]: Lmao! Meaning when you go bald due to stress I think lmao

2006-11-05 [starry_bellend]: OH lmfaoo! i thought you was saying hello lisa in another language lmao!

2006-11-05 [sequeena_rae]: Lmao you bum xD

2006-11-05 [starry_bellend]: Lmao what can i say its sunday and my trousers are full of shit lmao

2006-11-05 [sequeena_rae]: Oh fuck me lmao xD

2006-11-05 [starry_bellend]: You can say that again lol :P

2006-11-05 [sequeena_rae]: Oh fuck me lmao xD
xD!!!!

2006-11-07 [starry_bellend]: ok ... :P

2006-11-07 [starry_bellend]: If you insist :P

2006-11-07 [sequeena_rae]: *backs away* You seem a bit too eager lmao xD

2006-11-07 [starry_bellend]: Lmao you're the one propositioning everything that moves pmsl :P

2006-11-07 [starry_bellend]: Dont tell me that the phrase 'fuck me' is not provocative :P, remember how it was used in the excorsist LMFAO!

2006-11-07 [sequeena_rae]: :o I mean fuck me as in 'omg I cannot believe you just said that'!!! XD I'm innocent Lisa, how dare you try to taint me!!
*snicker* Oh yeah xD

2006-11-07 [starry_bellend]: LMFAO!! Im pissing myself by here,

2006-11-07 [sequeena_rae]: I hope you have a nappy on xD

2006-11-07 [starry_bellend]: Yes lol i have a tena lady pmsl

2006-11-07 [sequeena_rae]: :o Incontinence Lisa? xD

2006-11-07 [starry_bellend]: Im thinking so pmsl

2006-11-07 [sequeena_rae]: You poor child xD

2006-11-07 [starry_bellend]: Yes :( I come from a dismal world lmao

2006-11-07 [sequeena_rae]: *snicker* I'll adopt you, just like Madonna xD

2006-11-07 [starry_bellend]: Yes one problem there im not bald or black lmao

2006-11-07 [sequeena_rae]: o.O
Easily rectified with a shaver and a bit of gravy browning >:D

2006-11-07 [starry_bellend]: Lmao yeah i suppose lmao rob has just annonced he wants to adopt me, my reply was ok one problem though. My father is still alive and kicking lmao

2006-11-07 [sequeena_rae]: o.O;
omg.

2006-11-07 [starry_bellend]: Lmao! I was a sarcastic bastard this time last month lmao

2006-11-07 [sequeena_rae]: And now he wants you as his own! XD

2006-11-07 [starry_bellend]: Ini hes a bum!

2006-11-07 [sequeena_rae]: A big one!

2006-11-07 [starry_bellend]: With short arse legs

2006-11-07 [sequeena_rae]: And a weird shaved head xD

2006-11-07 [starry_bellend]: Yeah lol he's gay as ten bears

2006-11-07 [The Blood Angel]: *Frowns* He deserves a kick in the arse for saying something like that :p

2006-11-08 [sequeena_rae]: For what? xD

2006-11-08 [starry_bellend]: Who deserves a kick in the arse? Oh Rob lmao. THIS was the great almighty comment that weve awaited all day pmsl

2006-11-08 [sequeena_rae]: Oh right lmao!
I know, we were sat in the library this morning, pondering on who decided to grace our wiki with their presence lmao
After a lot of wtf's, we realised it wasn't us two xD

2006-11-08 [starry_bellend]: Lmao! yeah this is truely a bessing :P

2006-11-08 [sequeena_rae]: *bows* xD

2006-11-08 [starry_bellend]: * blessing even lol, bastard fingers, hail to the lay in tomoz lmao!

2006-11-08 [sequeena_rae]: Silly you :P
Oh yeah, what time shall I meet you? XD

2006-11-08 [starry_bellend]: Lmao 5 to 10 ? that'll do lol

2006-11-08 [sequeena_rae]: Yeah alright then lmao xD

2006-11-08 [starry_bellend]: Lmao :P sound as a pound !

2006-11-08 [sequeena_rae]: Sound as ten bears xD

2006-11-08 [starry_bellend]: Yeah 12 bears even!

2006-11-08 [sequeena_rae]: 12?? :O

2006-11-08 [starry_bellend]: Yeah random :P anyway,lmao how is your day going or gone?

2006-11-08 [sequeena_rae]: Mmm, I had a lovely causage caserole :3 And I'm having some more soon xD
Basically, I've sat about listening to music and making odd noises as I think :P
You?

2006-11-08 [starry_bellend]: Lmao!! Well i went driving ended up waiting behind a fucking corpse for about 20 mins lmao, cleaned out charlie and had tea lol

2006-11-08 [sequeena_rae]: o.O Poor you XD
Is Charlie alright now?

2006-11-08 [starry_bellend]: yeah lol shes fine, nails like a fcking witch but fine ;p

2006-11-08 [sequeena_rae]: Awww, go her!

2006-11-08 [starry_bellend]: Ini like edda with four legs lmao

2006-11-08 [sequeena_rae]: She's cuuuute x)

2006-11-08 [starry_bellend]: Lmao we'd make a good zoo if we put our petays together lmao

2006-11-08 [sequeena_rae]: xD Not a zoo, a freakshow lmao

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: Lmao very true :P

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: How are the rabbits?

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: Lmao oh alive and kicking carl was home when i got yuh the mitching bastard and had noticed lk thank fuck ;p

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: Oh good lmao!

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: Lmao ini like :P

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: My fingers are freezing o.O

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: Lol im actually sweating like a pig lol maybe i should turn the fire down a bit :P

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: o.O Perhaps xD

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: Lol, lmao i am currently learning the 'do it yourself heimlich manouvre' lmao

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: o.O; Oh god xD

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: Lmao i will be trying it out tomorrow on the bus lamo!

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: ....*will pretend I don't know you* xD

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: Lmao! *will put my arms around you and shout legeeeennnd* lmao have you ever noticed legend is actually a posh way of saying leg end :P

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: *will then pretend that you are some mad nutter from Cefn Coed and I am your doctor* xD ...omg only you could think of that xD

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: Lmao!! im good sar pmsl! look at me now defo turning into a spaz pmsl

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: You're the spaz queen!!! XD

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: *bows* :)

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: *worships* xD

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: LAMO so it is agreed that we are both royalty lmao

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: We always were :3

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: Yeah mun kings of the ghetto lmao

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: Queens damnit! XD

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: *checks* oh yeah! my bad :P

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: *rolls eyes* Numpty xD

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: Lmao im having a nelly the elephant fun day today :P

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: Ohh, I love Nelly xD

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: Ini omg i love will young ! Do you like switch it on?

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: Yes!! :D

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: its on there love with many other classics lmao

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: Eeee, I'm a happy bunny now :3

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: lol landeed :P

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: omg I'm starving xD

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: ditto i didntn eat coz i thought my fatherd get me food. Kinda backfired lmao

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: Bugger! Time for a bit of ass kissing lol

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: Ini lk lol them custard slices were nice tho werent they :)

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: Oh my stunning lmao

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: ini lk omfat guzzler eating it tho

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: o my pissing myself xD

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: OMFDYING!! LMFAOO!!!!

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: xD!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: Fucking get in there ini lmao

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: You were burrowing it away xD

2006-11-09 [starry_bellend]: Lmao ini i didnt need encouragement pmsl

2006-11-09 [sequeena_rae]: As we can see xD

2006-11-09 [The Blood Angel]: Cake!! :p

2006-11-10 [starry_bellend]: Really? Youd never guess lmao

2006-11-10 [sequeena_rae]: Yes, cake xD

2006-11-10 [starry_bellend]: Lmao, Leg eeeeends!!!

2006-11-10 [sequeena_rae]: xD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-10 [starry_bellend]: lmao! me you and the gravalator are the spaztastics frogs lmao avec berets :P

2006-11-10 [sequeena_rae]: *snicker* The gravalator is only a rem half the time, the other half she's 'blossoming' XD

2006-11-10 [starry_bellend]: Oh of course but u gotta admitt bernie beat her down today lmao! i was crying inside lamo

2006-11-10 [sequeena_rae]: Oh ini, I was fucking pissing myself lmao

2006-11-10 [starry_bellend]: Lmao did u see me?? Right up the front lmao, couldnt have got any further forward if i tried crying!!!!!

2006-11-10 [sequeena_rae]: And the funniest thing is, Bernie made you sit there! XD

2006-11-10 [starry_bellend]: Lmao ini like the spaz i am pmsl i took up class rem position today lmao! omg u shoulda seen me when she called me up to get my project glides up there face lk a smacked arse with a look of "omg what could i possibly have done wrong with this now" on my mush lamo

2006-11-10 [sequeena_rae]: Lmao! What was she like lmao

2006-11-10 [starry_bellend]: She was like dont look so entusiastic lmaoo!

2006-11-10 [sequeena_rae]: xD!!! OMG I think Bernie was being sarcastic lmao!

2006-11-10 [starry_bellend]: Lmao me too that is just even more patronising being sarcastic to the king of sarsasm lmao

2006-11-10 [sequeena_rae]: Oh ini lmao, and I as your left hand am the Queen!

2006-11-10 [starry_bellend]: Lmao yeah mun omg i had a class thing to do in french but then you left. I was gonna walk up to you and go " and now this is happening" and rip up my essay again lmao

2006-11-10 [sequeena_rae]: OMG!!! Have you ripped it up? XD

2006-11-10 [starry_bellend]: LMFAOOO!! Yeah but i wanted to do it in style lmao!

2006-11-10 [sequeena_rae]: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!
You should have waited until Monday LMAO!

2006-11-10 [starry_bellend]: Lmao!! I know i can always do my translation for you though if u want lmao??

2006-11-10 [sequeena_rae]: Yes! :D
In French lmao!

2006-11-10 [starry_bellend]: Lmao orite en ;)

2006-11-10 [sequeena_rae]: omg yay! XD

2006-11-10 [starry_bellend]: Lmao ill be an edda!

2006-11-10 [sequeena_rae]: You already are xD

2006-11-10 [starry_bellend]: Lmao so are you love, so are you. (in a good way this is now mind lmao)

2006-11-10 [sequeena_rae]: Well duh lmao!

2006-11-11 [starry_bellend]: Lmao looks like our poll has started the decent into doomdum lmao not even my serious polls are taken seriously lmao!

2006-11-11 [sequeena_rae]: Lmao! It's so sad ;-; xD

2006-11-13 [Zana]: Interesting and funny :-)

2006-11-13 [starry_bellend]: Lol thanks :P

2006-11-13 [sequeena_rae]: Thanks x)

2006-11-15 [starry_bellend]: We are the legends! We are the legends! We are we are weare the legeeeeeennnddss!

2006-11-15 [sequeena_rae]: That we are Lisa! *boogies* Remember, we need to write another one of these tomorrow :P

2006-11-15 [starry_bellend]: oh yes it shall be good :P

2006-11-15 [sequeena_rae]: *snicker* mwahahahahah x)

2006-11-15 [starry_bellend]: mwahahahahahahah * plays the ucalaylee (or however its spelt)*

2006-11-15 [sequeena_rae]: *doesn't know, so decides to not put you down this time for fear of looking like a fool* lmao!

2006-11-15 [starry_bellend]: Lmao! Thanks lol

2006-11-15 [sequeena_rae]: You're very welcome, I think you've taken enough beating today XD

2006-11-15 [starry_bellend]: Lmao yes i very much agree lol :)

2006-11-15 [sequeena_rae]: But we shall bounce back! (not because we're fat bastards but- okay, so maybe it is because we're fat bastards)

2006-11-15 [starry_bellend]: Lmao yes! A mod is never beaten to the grave, not even a fat one!

2006-11-15 [sequeena_rae]: They are taken there, kicking and screaming! Or lured by food xD

2006-11-15 [starry_bellend]: Yeah the last one seems more probable :P

2006-11-15 [The Blood Angel]: *Gets a tub of chocolate icecream, with a spade behind his back* Hello :D

2006-11-15 [sequeena_rae]: ...I agree x)

Hello xD You do realise I'm not a fan of chocolate ice cream right? X)

2006-11-15 [The Blood Angel]: How about vanilla? *Gets a second tub out*

2006-11-15 [sequeena_rae]: Mmm, that's much better :3

2006-11-15 [The Blood Angel]: He he thought so.

2006-11-15 [sequeena_rae]: *takes tub and scurries off* Thank you.

2006-11-15 [The Blood Angel]: Aww your welcome. *Scoffs the chocolate* Shit I forgot to dig the graves :p

2006-11-15 [sequeena_rae]: Silly bugger.
It's rare to beat a mod when it comes to food :P

2006-11-15 [The Blood Angel]: Or just remember to dig the graves first :p

2006-11-15 [sequeena_rae]: Or that :P

2006-11-15 [starry_bellend]: Omg when did this happen?

2006-11-15 [The Blood Angel]: *Chucks the half eaten icecream at Lisa* Its chocolate!

2006-11-15 [starry_bellend]: Oh great lol! Do you have any run and raison because im having trouble with brown runny stuff of late

2006-11-15 [sequeena_rae]: Omg when you were out being busy XD

2006-11-15 [sequeena_rae]: LMFAO!!! XD

2006-11-15 [starry_bellend]: Lmao :P

2006-11-15 [The Blood Angel]: *Roles around laughing*

2006-11-16 [sequeena_rae]: Let's not even go there xD

2006-11-16 [starry_bellend]: No best not :P

2006-11-16 [sequeena_rae]: Ompins and needles

2006-11-16 [starry_bellend]: Om ini i had pins and needles in my spine just now lol

2006-11-16 [sequeena_rae]: ...How the fuck does that work lmao

2006-11-16 [starry_bellend]: Dont know lmao but it fucking hurts lmao!!

2006-11-16 [sequeena_rae]: *files away that piece of info* XD

2006-12-18 [Ocean Soul]: "Sister Lisa healing a rock" omg xD

2006-12-19 [starry_bellend]: Lmao wtf?? :P

2006-12-19 [sequeena_rae]: Lmao! Tis [Ocean Soul] mun, not to worry Lis, it's not one of them rival ninjas ¬_¬ http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/.ssl7.jpg This Lis XD

2006-12-19 [starry_bellend]: Oh i didnt see that pic lmao!! :P My bad

2006-12-19 [sequeena_rae]: There is one word for that, and that is fool xD

2006-12-19 [starry_bellend]: Lmao i read your mind then!! I saw that coming before i clicked the page lmfaoOO!

2006-12-19 [sequeena_rae]: *is losing my touch* Damn xD

2006-12-19 [starry_bellend]: Lmao :P Mystic midget strikes again!

2006-12-19 [sequeena_rae]: *cowers in fear*

2006-12-19 [starry_bellend]: Lmao! Dont cower child, you will be hit by a bus in 5,4,3,2...... lamo