My boyfriend is an idiot.
I'm having doubts, more and more, about this relationship. I'm thinking of my future, and I'm not sure if I even want him around as anything more than a good friend. Back when we first dated, before he broke up with me and broke my heart, I used to think he was The One. But on this try number two... I'm not so sure anymore. I love him, I really do, and it feels so good just to cuddle him, but at the same time, we're really just wrong for each other. He hurts me, I hurt him. We're so different. Perhaps there is a future for us, but what will it be like? Maybe it's time to end this story. I don't know.
I think I'll just stick around for a while more and see where we go. Having these thoughts is just so painful. I am so confused.
WTF is up with dA? It lost my author tag, and now it won't display the one I'm trying to upload! Gah! Crappy thing.
Goals for the rest of the year:
· writing lots of good stuff (also participating in and finishing Nanowrimo)
· taking a bunch of fabulous pictures
· losing weight by way of exercise and healthy diet (things I should do anyways even without the weight-losing factor)
· reading many of the books on my reading list and thus becoming more civilised
· starting to read newspapers, also to the point of becoming more civilised
· selling handmade stuff, as well as old things I don't want or need anymore, to get money
· saving said money for vacations, tattoos, and the like
· getting to school or to a better job
· beginning the process of learning Dutch in earnest so that I can maybe one day move to the Netherlands
· organising my room once and for all, and keeping it that way
So, yeah. I've got an abundance of things to do. Better start soon... *checks up on education offered this autumn*
My family is helping out my cousin by taking care of her four kids for a weekend about once a month. She suffers from ADHD, as well as two of the kids, and she's an alone mother, so she can really use the help. This is the second time they're here, and I've made a discovery.
They actually listen to me.
A command, sometimes even a look, and for a while, they're nice. Of course, the youngest ones being 5 and 3 they need to be reminded after a while, but still! It is most confusing... and cool. :P
And my mom told me my tummy has grown. Oops... Exercise, exercise! Once I get this cold out of the way. <_<
Back home. I would have gladly stayed longer, but it's actually kind of nice to be here. I prefer this apartment to airports and trains... :P
Account of the trip and pictures will be available later, now I'm just going to zone out a bit and take a breath or two. In the meantime, I hope I wasn't too much of a bother to either [Teufelsweib] or [Sunrose] (or Vorkje's family, for that matter) who were both gracious enough to show me around and pay for stuff. :3 Thank you for that, by the way!
The most ironic thing about coming back is that I whined about the keyboards all the time. Now, my own is confusing me. And the screen resolution is huge-
So. I'm leaving in a bit to spend the night at Jukka's, and he'll drive me to the airport in the morning. I'm going to Dutchieland and, from there, hopefully to Wales before coming back home.
Whether or not I get on ET or generally online anywhere is up to Vorkje :P But. I shall have fun and see you all again in a week or so perhaps. Byebyes! :3
I really think someone should draw me as Lamia.
http://en.wiki
I just got mail from the only university I thought I'd have a chance of entering. No such luck. No uni for me this year either. I feel like crap. I really wanted to get in.
Just finished the miniseries *points to the entry below*
It was just as brilliant as I thought it would be-- nay, even more so! Absolutely bloody lovely. And well done. I really enjoyed it, particularly as many of the scenes with Darcy and Elizabeth gave me tingles, like the ones you get with a crush. I'm so giddy when a movie or series does that for me. ^___^ Ahhh, I just love it. <3<3<3
After another trip downtown with mom, I have:
· DVD of BBC's "Pride and Prejudice" (for only 10€!!!! <3<3<3<3<3) I've never seen it before *shames* but I'm convinced it's brilliant. I wanted to get a 'Persuasion' DVD, but couldn't find one ;_; I have a minor obsession with teh Austen currently, especially Persuasion.
· the aforementioned novel, Persuasion, complete and unabridged (Penguin Popular Classics, 3,90€)
· black skirt with an ornate belt (stitched roses) of the same material. shin-length, lovely soft fabric. 6,50€, from a second hand store.
· brown shirt with a nice "pooling" collar and 3/4 sleeves, 4€.
· green top with leopard print, can't remember the price as I wore it right after I bought it - the one I'd had on was too loose.
· green skirt, surprisingly light, with side pockets and a zipper in the back that goes all the way to the hem. originally found it for my mom, but we are apparently going to share. 8€.
In short, I am a fairly happy camper, on the material side at least. On another note: ow. My feet really feel the heels of those new shoes. I did a lot of walking today. And my headache, present since yesterday evening, perseveres. <_< Bleh. :P
Oh well, I have Austen goodness. ^_^
Last entry for a while, I promise. Mainly because it's only to let anyone who might care know that I'll be with my family at my grandpa's and return sometime on Tuesday. There's no computer, not to mention Internet connection, so I won't be available for these couple of days.
Don't miss me too much (as if) and play nice.
I don't really know why, but I started a wiki for blood donors. I guess it spawned from the badge I made, wanting to show that I am one. Well, I hope it becomes something other than just another dead wiki.
save a life. donate blood.
Stolen from le Squee.
Are you more man, or woman?
1.[X] You love hoodies
2.[ ] Dogs are better than cats
3.[ ] It's hilarious when people get hurt
4.[X] You've played with/against boys on a team
5.[X] Shopping is torture (depends, though. but it definitely can be.)
6.[X] Sad movies suck
7.[ ] You own an xbox 360
8.[ ] You wanted/played with Hotwheel cars as a kid
9.[ ] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter
10.[ ] You own a DS, PS2 or Sega
11.[ ] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
12.[ ] You watch sports on TV
13.[ ] Gory movies are cool
14.[ ] You only go to your dad for advice
15.[ ] You own like a trillion baseball caps
16.[ ] You like going to football games
17.[ ] You used to/do collect football cards
18.[ ] It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
19.[X] Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favorite colours
20.[X] You love to go crazy and not care what people think
21.[ ] Sports are fun too
22.[X] Have talked with food in your mouth
23.[ ] Wear Boxers to bed
24.[ ] Or your socks on at night
total: 7
Multiply the total by 7
Score: 42% boy :P
GIRL PART
1.[ ] You wear lip gloss
2.[ ] You wear eyeliner
3.[ ] You have some of the same shirts in different colours
4.[X] You wear the colour pink/ have worn the colour pink (not in years but it has happened)
5.[X] Go to a female for advice
6.[ ] You KNOW cheerleading's a sport and you argue about it
7.[ ] You hate wearing the colour black
8.[ ] You like shopping
9.[X] You like wearing jewelry (but only some)
10.[X] Skirts are a part of your wardrobe
11.[ ] You don't like the movie Star Wars
12.[ ] It takes you around 1 hour (or more) to shower, get dressed and put on make-up and accessories
13.[ ] You smile a lot more than you should
14.[ ]You have more than 10 pairs of shoes/sneakers
15.[X] You care about what you look like
16.[X] You like wearing dresses when you can
17.[X] You love, LOVE movies
18.[X] Used to play with dolls as a little kid
19.[ ] Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it
20.[X] Like taking pictures when you're bored
total= 9
multiply by 7
score: 63% girl (Dumdeeedum.)
I have a new cell phone. It is small, black, and cute. It's nothing fancy for most - a Nokia 1600 - but it's good enough for me. I can call, I can send text messages. There's no need for any funny additional gadgets. Besides, it was cheap, costing a whopping 39 euros. I just finished getting some ringtones, and am now going to do what I should have been doing for the past hour. Namely, cleaning up.
I like my new phone.
Ahhhh, home. <3
Was in town today, shopping for stuff. I now have:
· shoes, boots to be exact. wonderful green boots that I love. they're actually feminine, and have a bit of a heel, so it'll take a moment to get used to them - I've been wearing army boots all year round for a couple of years now. this is an interesting change. I'm becoming a woman o_O
· a jacket, a short one, with this weird floral pattern. brown and beige. second hand store stuff that I apparently would have had to pay myself sick for had I bought it new.
· pants. brown. lovely. a bit tight and (of course) too long, but absolutely lovely.
· other pants, wine red or deep purple I believe, with a floral pattern. velvet, probably. they're entirely too small, but I only bought them for the fabric anyways. perfect for book covers! it's fabulous. I'm in love.
I also need a new phone, and we (was with my mother, who also found some "new" clothes with my assistance) forgot to pay a visit to a pharmacist even though we fetched my new prescription. Oh well. Couple of days here or there... Mmmm. Strangely contented feeling I have.
Stealage.
1) Full Name: Lamiena
2) Name Backwards: Aneimal
3) Were you named after anyone? Possibly my dad's mom... Don't really know.
4) Does your name mean anything? Duchess.
5) Nick Name(s): Lami
6) Screen Name(s): Linderel, Lin, Lamichu
7) Date Of Birth: 18.11.1986
8) Place of Birth: Hyvinkää
9) Nationality: Finnish
10) Current Location: Lehtisaari, Helsinki
11) Sign: scorpio or tiger, take your pick.
12) Religion: none
13) Height: 155 (shoooort - but taller than my mum :P)
14) Weight: Uh. 58 kilos?
15) Shoe Size: 39-40, depends on the type of shoe.
16) Hair colour: reddish brown mess
17) Eye colour: bluegreengrey
18) What do you look like? Small and stupid?
19) Innie or Outie? Innie
20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous? Right
21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other? Bi, I believe.
22) Best friend(s): [nekorin], [NiTessine], [Teufelsweib]
23) Best friend you trust the most: I'm not actually sure. [nekorin] or [Teufelsweib].
24) Best friends {your sex}: [nekorin], [Teufelsweib]
25) Best friends of the Opposite Sex: [NiTessine]
26) Best Bud(s): Errr
27) Boyfriend / Girlfriend: [NiTessine] :P
28) Crush: *cough* There's this guy who goes by the nickname of Vakio and I have this sort-of almost-crush on him... But don't tell Jukka <_<
29) Parent(s): Ossi and Ulla-Maija
30) Worst Enemy: Myself, probably.
31) Favorite on-line Guy(s): [True, plain and simple], [Viking], Vakio...
32) Favorite on-line Girl(s): [ally], [Sunrose], [sequeena_rae], [Teufelsweib], [Jitter], [Levoton], [iippo]... (no particular order)
33) Funniest friend: Hmmm.
34) Craziest friend: This might be Vorkje. Or Laura ([nekorin]). I dunno xD
35) Advice Friend: I... I... o_O Don't know if I have one, really.
36) Loudest Friend: Uhh, Laura I think.
37) Person you cry with: Me :P I just use other people's shoulders for it when they're available.
Do You Have...
38) Any sisters: Laura & Vorkje
39) Any brothers: Got one.
40) Any pets: No ;____; I'm an auntie of Laura's two dogs, though :P
41) A Disease: asthma, nothing much else.
42) A Pager: No.
43) A Personal phone line: Cell phone o_O
44) A Cell phone: Aye *points at previous answer*
45) A Lava lamp: No, might be nice though... they're hypnotic :o
46) A Pool or hot tub: No <_<
47) A Car: Does the family car count?
Describe Your...
48) Personality: tangled
49) Driving: No experience.
50) Car or one you want: I don't want one. Our family car is... I don't even remember what it was. Something Kia?
51) Room: less messy than earlier this week
52) What’s missing? peace of mind
53) School: Let me get in let me get in pleaaaaaaase let me get in to uni!
54) Bed: above my head, unmade.
55) Relationship with your parent(s): Good enough.
Do You
56) Believe in yourself: Sometimes.
57) Do you believe in love at first sight?: Attraction yes, love... not so much.
58) Consider yourself a good listener: Usually.
60) Get Along with your parents: Mostly.
61) Save your e-mail conversations: I only delete junkmail so I think that's a yes?
62) Pray: Nuh-uh.
63) Believe in reincarnation: I fancy the idea, so yes. At least partly.
64) Like to make fun of people: Yes and no? <_<
65) Like to talk on the phone: Not really, no. I hate most phonecalls.
66) Smoke: Never!
67) Like to drive: Just my bike, and not even that so often.
68) Get motion sickness: I don't think so...
69) Eat the stems of broccoli: EWWWWW.
70) Eat Chicken fingers with a fork: Whatever for? o_O
71) Dream in color: Dreaming in black and white would be just odd.
72) Type with your fingers on home row: Excuse me?
73) Sleep with a stuffed animal: You bet.
What Is…?
74) Right next to you: A shelf, with books and stuff on it.
75) On the walls of your room: A portrait of me, a portrait of a favourite anime pairing, a Mona Lisa print, some postcard of France, and a selfmade poster declaring 'Peace cannot be achieved with weapons'.... and then there's a mirror on the other side of the room next to the door.
76) On your mouse pad: Dirt and grease <_<
77) Your dream car: I don't have one!
78) Your dream date: :o
79) Your dream honeymoon spot: I...uh... haven't thought that far yet <_< I wanted to get wedded at Stonehenge :P
80) Your dream husband/wife: :S
81) Your bedtime: Way past.
82) Under your bed: Me! This computer, desk, with CDs and all the other usual stuff.
83) The single most important question: Why?
84) Your bad time of the day: Depends.
85) Your worst fear(s): In the end, it all comes down to getting hurt.
86) The weather like: Calm.
87) The time? 02:09 <_<
88) The date? July 6th
89) The best trick you ever played on someone: Can't recall... other than the DP April Fool's this year :P
90) The weirdest food that you like: Umumumumum I dunno.
91) Theme Song: I seriously can't answer this.
92) The hardest thing about growing up: Teenage-y mood swings and all the existential angst!
93) Your funniest experience: My memory sucks.
94) Your scariest moment: One of those times I got scared witless by Laura's episodes, probably.
95) The silliest thing you've said: Can't possibly remember.
96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex? Make my online friend call the person and get him to call me <_< Oh gods that was mortifying >_< This was in 9th grade, though...
97) The scariest thing that's ever happened while with your friend(s): One of Laura's episodes.
98) The worst feeling in the world: Getting your heart broken.
99) The best feeling in the world: Freedom.
I has made me a stylesheet! It's "_lami.css" if you want to try it. It's not the best, but I think it's fairly decent for my first try... and I might still poke at it at a later point. I'm more or less satisfied for now, though. :3
Opinions (and onions) are welcome.
Please tell me I'm not the only one that dislikes the new order of buttons on houses. :P
http://www.you
Can't stop watching this, over and over and over again. xD I wants more of these! :P *loves bloopers*