Im ...different (weird)...5'2(ahem 5'1)....i h8 ppl who are overconfident about themselves...i h8 Paris Hilton,she can go fuck herself for all i care...I have dark brown/reddish hair...dark brown eyes....theyd look better gray... my hair isnt short or long...im in shape... but not athletic...i love volleyball h8 cheerleading...i used to be one!!((rrrrrrrite))i can go through 2packs of gum a day^_^ im so proud!!!
ummmm my best friend is [TearsofBlood] i have a wonderful bf named matt...i luv him soooo much....all you bitches...AWAY FROM MY MATT!!!! I'll try to get a pic of him up with his shirt off...^_^ you'll be so jealous hes mine and im his.I'm gonna put up a few of my poems soon!_! When I do message me and tell me if they're good. ^_^ummm im a model so you see why I dont put my pics up...cuz people actually come up to me and say " OMG Are you that girl?" ya know what I mean, and im french...well ciao for now


(ASCII removed by the guards)


(ASCII removed by the guards)
Playboy is schmexy]

(ASCII removed by the guards)




[THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF A CHEMICAL ROMANCE





1. Thou shalt not put a gun to thy lover's head.





2. Thou shalt be willing to die for love.





3. Thou shalt seek revenge on those who wrong you





4. Thou shalt be a demolition lover





5. Thou shall unleash the bats





6. Thou shalt protect thy lover from everything (even vampires)





7. Thou shalt respect the lord, Gerard.





8. Thou shalt sing the holy hymns of the chemical romance





9. Thou shalt see beauty in bloody love.





10. Thou shalt rock hard]




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    rolling stones





[SEX IS A SENSATION CAUSED BY TEMPTATION WHEN A GUY STICKS HIS LOCATION INTO A GIRLS DESTINATION TO INCREASE POPULATION FOR THE NEXT GENERATION YOU GET MY EXPLANATION OR DO U NEED A DEMONSTRATION?]




12 Reasons Why CHOCOLATE
Is Better Than SEX!









1. You can have chocolate in front of your parents.

2. Nobody starts rumors about who you shared chocolate with.

3. People of the same sex can share chocolate without being called names.







4. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.

5. Chocolate is satisfying even if it's gone soft.

6. No matter what kind of chocolate you like, it's legal.







7. You can have chocolate with a whole group of friends without being obscene.

8. If you have to pay for your chocolate, it's not too expensive.

9. Chocolate is just as attractive when you're sober.







10. A big piece of chocolate lasts longer, but even a small piece is satisfying.

11. You can have chocolate in the office without upsetting your co-workers.

12. It's easy to GET chocolate any time you want!!!















[Party hardy
rock and roll
drink a keg
smoke a bowl
so all you g's
who think your cool,
kiss my ass
cuzz stoners rule!!!!!



We stumble in a tangled web,
decaying friendships almost dead
And hide behind a mask of lies
We twist and turn and we avoid,
all hope of salvage now devoid
I see the truth inside your eyes
So take all this noise into your brain
and send it back again
I'll bear the cost, shed my skin, call
you up and then...
I'll say the words out loud
This Is To Cool. xx]



Feel the pain
Flowing cold and constant through her vein.





Its no longer sunny and bright
Everything is now as black as night





She is left all alone
The sadness inside her is unknown





Tears stain her soft cheeks
The lack of food makes her weak





Her father beats her when they’re alone
She’s taught to speak without a tone





No one to hear her cry
No one to stand by her side





No one to tell her it’s ok
And everything will be better someday





She takes hold of her blade
It’s the only was she can get away





Places the sharp blade against her wrist
Her hand clinches into a tight fist





The blade feels cold against her scarred skin
She waits for the courage to make her life end





Her hands slightly start to shake
It’s the hardest decision she’s ever had to make





She is startled by the sound of her father’s drunken voice
It only encourages her final choice





She takes in her final breath and tightens her grip
She puts pressure on the blade, careful not to let it slip





She watches the blood trail from the deep gash
Feeling the blood drain from her body, it’s all happening so fast





A smile sweeps across her face
This is the end of all her disgrace





She lies down on the cold bathroom floor
Awaiting the new world she is destined to explore





A little girl with no way out
This was what her story was all about.





By: {BrwneyedCutiepie } or Tay-Tay



Things to Say to Solicitors by: [vagabond faery]


1. Solicitor: “Hello! Is your mother home?”
  You: “No, Is yours?”


2. Solicitor: “Hi there! Are your parents home?”
  You: “No. But I’m sure they would want me to hang up on you if they were.”


3. Solicitor: “Hello. This is Roy from your local newspaper. Is this the resident of *address*?”
 You: “ROY! How good to hear from you again! I was just thinking of you!”(persist until they hang up)


4. Solicitor: “hello, this is Bob. We are taking a customer satisfaction survey.....”
 You: “Bob, is that short for Robert? Can I call you Bobby instead? I think I will. I always liked that name.”


5. (If you know it is a solicitor before you pick up)
 You: “Welcome to Pizza Palace. Can I take your order?”


6. Solicitor: “Hi this is Sandy from the mattress company......”
  You: (cutting them off) “Oh hi! I’m so glad you called! Would you like to buy some jam?”


7. Solicitor: “Hello. This is the newspaper company. Would you like to renew your subscription?”
 You: “WHY CAN”T YOU JUST LEAVE ME IN PEACE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?”


8. Solicitor: “It’s that time of year again! Our product will have you in awe...............”
  You: “Fascinating! Tell me more!”
  Solicitor: (begins long speech)
  You: (Quietly put phone on table and listen to them talk to no one)


9. Solicitor: “Its your lucky day!....................”
  You: “Well it CERTAINLY isn’t yours!” (Hang up)


10. (As soon as you find out it is a solicitor)
  You: “Hello. My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
  Solicitor: “What?”
  You: (louder) “HELLO! MY NAME IS INDIGO MONTOYA! YOU KILLED MY FATHER! PREPARE TO DIE!”
  Solicitor: “excuse me?!?”
  You: repeat as many times as necessary.
(Words from number ten taken from “The Princess Bride” an excellent movie that I command all of you who are daft enough not to have seen already to go see this instant or suffer the immensely painful and humiliating consequences.)





 
["The vampire was utterly white and smooth, as if he were sculpted from bleached bone, and his face was as seemingly inanimate as a statue, except for two briliant green eyes that looked down at the boy intently like flames in a skull."


-- Interview With The Vampire]




How To Get Out Of A Traffic Ticket!

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!



[fish fish fish]
[fish about fish]
[fish talk fish]
[fish to fish]
[fish lozer fish]
[fish this fish]
[fish got fish]
[fish i fish]
[fish long fish]
[fish how fish]
[fish look fish]

read the 2nd word from bottom 2 top



I hope this shows up well...cuz im screwed if it doesnt.Well newayz....i dont care if u write me just to say hi,but just to let you know i dont like it when poeple screw with me when i dont want them too....make sence? (im confused too...)
I luv lots of bands.... ne rock/alternative/heavy metal shit...im into it
if u dont want to talk to me on ET i perfer aol...or aim....my aol sn is KriesofDark




29 things Girls want Guys to know


1. We want to be hugged



2. We want you to show us affection even when people you know are around.



3. We have peverted minds SOMETIMES!



4. Don't take us for granted.



5. If you like us, make your move before someone else does.



6.If you don't shave, don't expect us too...EVERYDAY!!



7. Even though we're perfectly okay with it, don't tell us to kiss our friends to turn you on unless you're willing to do the same.



8. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.



9. We don't care how sexy your ex was.



10. We absolutely do not care about how hot you think other girls are even if were not going out with you!!!



11. Even though you almost never are, we'll pretend that you're right sometimes.



12. Its not our job to make all the plans.



13. We understand that size doesn't matter.



14. We're not as shallow as you think we all are.



15. PMS is ALWAYS an excuse.



16. On that note, anything we say or do during that 4 days to a week each month cannot be held against us.



17. Johnny Depp IS hot, so get over it.



18. We like it when you say that you're sorry (even if its not entirely your fault).



19. The excuse "I can't dance" is absolutely unacceptable...we'll appreciate the effort.



20. Make fun of us...prepare to DIE!



21. The "little things" are really the biggest things.



22. No girl just wants to be "your friend with benefits."



23. Don't smoke and expect us to kiss you, its gross beyond words.



24. We're sensitive.



25. When we trip and or fall, throw yourself upon the altar of sacrifice and humiliate yourself to make us feel better.



26. Don't lie to us...ever.



27. If we take the time to write you cute notes, write us back, we really
like that.



28. Hold our hand.



29. At least 98% of you guys who are reading this REALLY should take my advise, it'll make your life a lot easier.








[What's wrong
what happened
to your smile?
Was it thrust,
Out into exile?
Or did it bust?
I know
that i did it
but i didn't
really mean it.
Hell!
hang me,
in a noose,
but never
cut me loose
cause i cant
live without you
my love will
never fail
my heart
will ail
a dart to the chest
was all it took
i loved you
my best
i didnt feel
at all real
i felt fake
like a stake
to the heart
will you cart
my aching soul
now a black hole
and it shows
cause now
im empty
nothing left
but a tie
too bad i lie
wish i was had
posion me
and it could be
the one last night
that it felt right]




      [~*~*~LiNkS~*~*]

http://funnyjunk.com/list.php
http://journals.aol.com/kriesofdark/MyTearsofBlood/  {<--- is my blog}




Prison vs. Work

IN PRISON
 AT WORK

you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell. you spend most of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.





IN PRISON
 AT WORK

you get three meals a day (free). .you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it yourself.





IN PRISON
 AT WORK

you get time off for good behavior. you get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK.





IN PRISON
 AT WORK

a guard locks and unlocks the doors for you. .you must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors yourself.





IN PRISON
 AT WORK

you can watch TV and play games. you get fired for watching TV and playing games.



IN PRISON
 AT WORK

you get your own toilet. you have to share.



IN PRISON
 AT WORK

they allow your family and friends to visit. you can not even speak to your family and friends.



IN PRISON
 AT WORK

all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all. .you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.



IN PRISON
 AT WORK

you spend most of your life looking through the bars from the inside wanting to get out. you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.





my fave quote "Go fuck yourself"



Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?''

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''

The Teacher fainted.