heya hows it going. Adam`s the name, and . . .something that rhymes is the game. right. . .
seriously into phantasy, preferrably the horror stuff though. Brian Lumley is the man, followed by Clive Barker. Grand high adjudicater being H.P.Lovecraft hehehhe oh the evil. Roleplaying too, when the stars are right damnit, when the stars are right. . .
Vampire the masquerade.
In Nomine.
Call of Cthlhu.
Play these things.
you will become better for it.
drawing is one of my characters from Victorian ages btw. Lasombra ancillae by the name of Lady Gwent. great fun she was.. . . .oh so evil. . . and roleplayers on elftown btw?

HAHAHHA we are back ! we are resplendent! we are slightly bored with our job and subcounsciously trying to get fired from it.

I went looking for trouble. . . and boy, I found her. . .
She`s in love with herself
She likes the dark . . .
And on her milk white neck. . .
The Devils mark . . .

Now Its all Hallows eve. . .
The moon is full. . .
well will she trick or treat . . .
I bet she will. . .

etc. New Nine Inch nails is absolutely bitching btw, as is the new Star wars ! yes I have seen it cos I am a <insert swear word here>.
yeah.
one of those.
haha oh yeah and Im running dark ages again (Vampire) cos I like throwing Vozhd`s and methuselah`s at people and see them cry and moan and . .cry a little more.

Let us prey. we shall dominate all ! The Sith will prevail! and other explosions of excitement. . .oh yes. Dan`s running Star wars roleplaying .oh yes.
AND WHY THE HELL ISNT MINDFLAYER AS AN OPTION FOR PHANTASY RACE !! not that . .I would . .do such a horrible thing.
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

best films ever.

Fear and Loathing in las Vegas (just for the Samoan)
Logans run.
The Hunger.
Soylent green.
The Shining.
Bela Lagosi`s Dracula, just cos its so creaky.
Interview with a vampire (obviously)
Mad Max (he`s just a raggedy man.)
Oh good god this is funny. FUNNY! you here ! well obviously you dont, otherwise youde be able to hear the wonder that is Type O negative and then you`de feel better and possibly like cake.I dont like the way you arent given the option of pigeon killers, surely there must be pigeons here, THERE ARE PIGEONS EVERYWHERE. I sometimes wonder whether they got into my brain. Perhaps im a pigeon. A pigeon that found God. Not that Ive found god but oh well. Hmm . .I wonder . . .EVIL !!!
Best qoutes . .or some that make one smirk.


"HOLY JESUS WHAT ARE THESE GODDAMN ANIMALS!"
Raoul Duke, Fear and loathing in Las Vegas

"there`s a big fucking bird over there. . ."
Darla, The Crow

"RUNNER !!"
Logan, Logan`s run

"Have you heard enough? Ive had to listem to that for centuries. . ."
Lestat, Interview with The Vampire

"Would everyone stop getting shot!"
Lock, Stock and two smoking barrels
Favourite Books I have ever read:

Clive Barker: Books of blood (all of em, theyre so fucking good) Weaveworld because I actually cried at the end of it.

Brian Lumley: The Necroscope series, and beneath the moors and other dark places, also his hero of dreams trilogy.

H.P.Lovecraft . . .every single story. He hoenstly hasnt ever done a bad one. One of my favourites is "The moon bog" or "The Hound" because its nice and short and good to read out to friends and makes them want to read Lovecraft!! hahahaha! I win!

Algernon Blackwood: because he is the first ghost story novelist I read that made the hairs on the nape of my neck stand on end.

thats all for now, But Im sure I`ll think of more.

Ah yes . .saw Star wars episode 3, it hurt me with its greatness, and the Emperor fights Yoda so no one is gonna be dissapointed. . .

Prelude to Agony- Type O negative.

There is no pain like that of desire. . .
Is there no difference between women and fire!

that`s for you Dan . .you love women so much. NOT !

Im considering selling my soul to televangelists . .they just may not survive the experience.

what if everything around you . . isnt quite as it seems . .what if all the world you think you know . .is an elaborate dream?
If you look at youre reflection . .is that all you want to be?
But if you could look right through the cracks . . .would you find yourself . .find yourself afraid to see?

Favourite bands, r simply those of whihc I enjoy lietening to.

Type O Negative
The Cure
The Sisters of Mercy
Gary Numan
Dead Can Dance
A perfect circle
Fields of the Nephilim
Filter
Garbage
Kate Bush
David Bowie
Killing Joke
Killing Miranda
Nick Cave and the bad seeds
Nine Inch Nails
Placebo
Rob Zombie
Rosetta stone
The Smashing Pumpkins
Neil Young
Stabbing Westward
hehe The Killers
Tool
Vast
Ludvig Van Bethoven


Ok I severely dont know how to upload written materials, so . . Im gonna stick something in this section. Comment on it please, it will be most appreciated. Or better yet you could tell me where the hell I can put it on this site!

     The little old ladies house

I think that the elderly woman, who answered the door, smiling as widely as the sun, was exactly what the girl was expecting.
She seemed to fit in with the look of the house, cosy, and comfortable looking, if not a little dusty.
She put her hands on her knees and leaned downwards so she was face to face with the little girl, no small effort for a woman pushing seventy, but the child didn’t notice, she was trying to smile just as widely.
“Hello dear, my, my, don’t you just look a picture in that outfit!”
The girl blushed and looked at herself. Yes, I suppose she did. Her mother had told her similar that morning when she was getting ready, and she was doing well, she had already sold two boxes of brownies today, she had three boxes left and she could fill in her sheet for the week. The old dear brought her out of her thoughts slowly.
 “Ooh, look at those!” she pointed a gentle finger at the girl’s cakes
“I bet they’re lovely, id love to try some, would you like to come inside, and have a drink, dear?”
The girl nodded and smiled but before they could move inside she coughed dramatically and recited the words taught to her by her brownie leader.
“The brownie guides of America are trying to raise money for charity by selling cakes. Please help us thank you.”
She almost forgot the last word because she hadn’t learnt it properly but the old woman gave a little clap and took her into the kitchen.
“Did you learn all those big words by yourself dear, because that’s very clever”
The girl nodded, jumping onto a stool without invitation.
“My mum says I’m very smart for my age.”
The old lady smiled and passed her a glass of lemonade.
“And how old are you dear?” said the old lady balancing on the other stool next to her, so that they were sitting opposite each other over a kitchen surface that came out of the wall.
“I’m nearly ten, uh, mam” she said sipping at her drink and straining upwards in an effort to make herself look taller.
The old lady put down her glass.
“Well, blow me down! I thought you were at least twelve!”
The girl blushed again, this time harder.
“And what’s you’re name dear?”
“Becky, uh, mam”.
“Well…Becky, Id love to buy some of you’re cookies, but id like a good few, see” she indicated to her hallway “downstairs Ive got a hungry little tyke, he’s about you’re age dear, oh and he just loves sweet things. Me, I just love children. She sighed. “If only he would be less LIKE HIS FATHER ALL THE TIME!” she raised her voice and stared at the hall in a sullen way. “Oh I love him to pieces dear,” she whispered conspiratorially. “And don’t let me tell you otherwise, him and his father, oh they’re a pair, I tell you!” she tittered.
“Is his dad around here? Id like to meet him.” Said the girl, matching the lady’s smile.
The old lady smiled again, but this time she seemed quieter, sadder almost.
“No dear, he left us sometime ago now,”
she turned to gaze out of the window “sometimes though, I feel him watching me, he looks after me, I think, in my old age.”
She laughed again, this time a little more wholeheartedly. “Yes, he definitely is still out there.” A strange look came and went as quickly as it had arrived. The girl opened her mouth to ask what she meant but the old lady spoke first. “What do you think dear? Do you believe in life out there?” She indicated out of the window, but towards the sky, the great void. The girl put her drink down. “What like god and fings?” the lady laughed then, she leant back on the stool and cried out. The girl looked at her doubtfully for a moment then giggled, thinking she had said something funny.
After a few minutes, the laughter subsided and the lady smiled at the girl, “Yes dear, god, or perhaps gods.” She turned away again. “He’ll come back one day, I’m sure of it, it’s just the waiting that’s the problem, ooh he’s been gone so long.”
the lady had gripped the surface with her small fingers and as she was speaking, had tightened her grip around the corner, so that when she released them, the girl was a little confused to see dents in the surface, which would require a force quite beyond that of an elderly woman, in fact surely the force beyond that of any normal person in the world.
“Are you alright?” The girl said, trying to get the old dears attention, as she had seemed to be in a sort of trance, staring out of the window and muttering a lot of big words that Becky didn’t understand.
The girl jumped out of her chair, slightly worried and the old lady spun around to focus on her with a surprising amount of speed.
“Sorry dear, I like to go off on one occasionally, oh dear yes! I don’t half like to ramble on, some might say it’s all I do!” She laughed but the girl was getting a little used to that sound, and it had a harsh, metallic edge that she had never heard before and not one that she could ever imagine an old lady making, It was the sound you would expect a great lizard to make, should it ever gain vocal chords.
“Well yes, I was going to buy some of you’re cakes now wasn’t I,” she indicated to the box in the girls hand “well, oh yes, so would you like to meet the little man?” the girl started, and looked down at the cakes in her hand, she had almost forgotten what she was doing here.
“Well… I suppose I could…”began the girl, hesitating.
“Excellent, then its settled!” said the old lady, standing up and guiding the girl with her down the hallway. “You see dear…” she said as they walked down it towards a flight of stairs that curled around the corner and out of sight.
“You had to agree…well… do you know what free will is Becky?” she whispered to the girl, who nodded, feeling a little apprehensive suddenly.
“Good. Because you had to agree to come down here of you’re own free will you see”.
At this point they had come to the first step and Becky, for the first time, heard a very unusual sound, one that you do not expect to hear coming from a cellar in a little old lady’s house. It was basically a very hoarse sound, almost like that which a rattlesnake makes when it is threatened, a strange kind of hissing that was coming directly from below them, and an irregular thumping sound, like that of a great drum …
“Its… dear, are you paying attention? Yes, well its something to do with my baby, you see the more he grows, the easier it is for him to talk with his father, and the easier it is to talk to his father, the easier it is for him to give him directions, you see dear he really is trying to come home, its just there is a lot of space to get lost in out there, oh lord yes!”
Becky started to tremble. “Please… id like to go home, I want to go home!”
The lady stopped and leant over the little girl, concern etched on every one of her features. “Dear, you can’t go home now, and besides, I’m not going to hurt you.” She looked forwards. “He might, though…”
The girl followed her gaze and cried, no, truly screamed for her very life.
They had come to the last step. The thumping and hissing was now insistent, and the door to the cellar was lying below them, but there were several things wrong with the surrounding’s.
For one, the door to the cellar looked like the door to a great vault or catacomb, and was made of a heavy stone that was bound up with a great many chains and heavy bolts.
The girl tried to struggle but the old lady tightened her grip on the girl’s bag and lifted her clean off the floor, and, despite her screams and protests held her there.
The paintwork in this part of the house had been scratched and gouged away, but in the most bizarre fashion, in places veritably torn away so that the foundations were visible, as if some vast pressure had been exerted but controlled. The frame of the door, if you could call it that, was also warped and bent outwards in a most bizarre fashion, so that pieces of wood and plaster were lying about the floor, but the greatest of pressure must have been employed to have performed this feat, and clearly the source of that strength had exerted itself from the other side!
But none of these things were the reason that the girl screamed again and again and with a sudden burst of strength tore the strap off her bag and ran up the stairs and out of the house, only to throw herself into a river later that day. No, nor could the police understand that before doing so she went home and gathered up all the holy objects she could find and clung to them so tightly that they had cut into her hands when they discovered her body in the river.
The reason that Becky Darlington had done all of this was as the old lady had held the girl nearer the door she had opened a sort of peephole and held the girl at arms length towards it. Now what Becky didn’t expect was a formless, slug like limb to come snaking out of the minute hole and form a great tongue, which ran itself over the old lady’s face. She giggled.
“Oh you cheeky! See dear, when I said I wished my boy to be less like his father all the time, I meant it literally, but unfortunately they both come from a part of space that’s laws of nature are very different, but no matter, he’ll be able to come back and see us very soon.”
As she was speaking, the tongue had reshaped to form a disturbing impression of a human eye, which, as soon as it had focused on the girl in its mother’s hand, had reshaped into a great mouth, a yawning gulf that’s bottom was nonexistent. It was like looking down into the great abyss and as the girl watched, powerless to move, teeth sprang up from the inside and the thing strained to get nearer its prize.
Then, and only then, did the girl snap out of her paralysis and run screaming out of the house. Meanwhile, the extremity withdrew and the old lady pottered about the kitchen, humming to herself and started peeling potatoes.
“Don’t worry dear,” she called down the stairs. “there’s plenty more where that came from.”
She appeared at the top of the stairs. “would you like a cookie?”


I like that one myself, but dont just read it and move on comment please.

Right, got me an mp3 player man it kicks ass, I also got FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS!! good god that film is wonderful.
GOT OFF MY NECK ! GET YOURE HANDS OFF MY FUCKING NECK !!
heh I smirk.

Its cold outside ! and the paints peeling off of my walls.
Looking forwards to going to . . .Carmarthen . .ish area to see Ryan and Ben on friday, that`ll be fun. WINE WINE WINE !
there`s a knock on the door, and just for a second I thought I remembered you . .


I got to thinking just now, dangerous I know, and I was just wondering.
Is there such a thing as a selfless deed?
think about it.
whatever you do, are you aware of the fact that its going to make you feel better about yourself? are you subcounsously doing it for that warm feeling in youre tumbly?
But that cant be true, because at one point you knew what a selfless deed actually was, the FIRST one you ever did. This would have probably been before you were ten. Remember giving someone something that you dont want does not count because its nothing important in youre eyes. So youve done this deed, as the rsult of principles handed down by youre parents? or some other parental figure. But where did they get them from? and as a result of their parents teaching them differing moral values, which in itself would be affacted by the period in which they were born, would there first selfless deed be a longer period of time in the making? and who did the first selfless deed?
We could go all the way back to the bible.
Adam and Eve? was Eve`s first selfless act, because arguably she did ot have a consionse in the garden of Eden, was her first selfless act to offer Adam a bite of some fruit from that naughty ole tree? it being of some spiritual value to her? some importance? So then is a selfless act, a good deed, in essence based on something rooted in evil?!!!

I think it would make me very happy if it was. I also need to sleep more.