Update: And my gallery...was eaten. Impeccable timing on the server's part. April 1st? You can't plan it like that!
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My name is Ted. Somehow, with an improbability factor of at least 8, you have stumbled onto my bio, and somehow, on a website filled with all these wonderful widgets to click, you remain here, choosing to read it instead of looking at anything else on this website.

So I may as well indulge your curiosity. My name is Ted, but that's not quite true. My name is in fact, 'Joshua Theodore Barnes'. A test to see how well someone knows me is by what name they refer to me as. If they call me 'Ted', they're family members. If they call me 'Joshua', they're a government employee, and if they call me 'Josh', they're a salesman trying to warm up to me before they rip me off.  My friends, on the other hand, call me 'Aluion', and they pronounce it correctly, too.

My hobbies include writing, reading, programming, and switching people's keyboard layout to DVORAK, only the first of which we will be talking about here. A few of my short stories and poems are published. Currently, however, I'm working on a fantasy novel. My writing is inspired by many different authors, the more famous ones being Tolkien and Douglas Adams.

I also tend to write a lot about subjects I can't stand (ahem...like...biographies), to make it look like I'm putting in an effort when I'm really just meandering around, hoping that you'll eventually get bored and go elsewhere before I do.