HI

I’m from Kuala Lumpur. What to say...erm, yea I love to draw ^^ but I like writing too! Hehe, but most of the time I can’t even make sense out of myself. Sooo ^^ all comments are 99.9% welcome!

Fave bands
Evanesence, 12 Stones, Breaking Benjamin, Finger 11
Hoobastank, 3 Doors Down, Def Leppard
Coldplay, Bonjovi, Van Hallen, Creed
Linkin Park, Metallica, Incubus, Eagles
Green Day, Simple Plan, Mr. Big, POD
Steve Vai guitar maestro

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My good pals in ET ^^
[Avatar]
[EarthGriffin]
[LvSha]
[t3h_ninja_ameh]
[Seth]
[Serwa]
[Carcass of Christ]
[teenage labotomy]
[Haflo]
[Nezeb]
[nikk_the_shit
[The Revenant]

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Drawn by [LvSha] for Chinese New year...fabulous ^^



I like to sit like a stone and daydream. Daydreaming isn't waste of time, as it may promote imagination, provoking creativity output. Sooo ^^ it's a thinking cap!

Kenapa? Tak percaya?

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...poem for quite moment 11-7-2004

Alone in a quite corner, I gathered my thoughts
My mind is suddenly bombarded with lots of questions
Those that kept on haunting me...
The whys and wherefores of life

Since the first day I openned my eyes into this world
I found myself staring into the white ceiling in a cold room
There was no difference between day and night
As the cries I heard persist throughout adults, presence could be felt
Their starry eyes and happy chatters penetrated the window panes

As years went by, I could wonder and ponder
How life exist and how it ends?
I wonder what comes after death, is there really heaven and hell?

As my mind reaches maturity, I started to discover...
I could feel the urge in me to want to succeed
I began to strive harder and demand a little more than ever
With a powerful mind and strong enthusiasm
I began wanting to achieve goal in my life
Opportunities hardly ever struck twice, but it’s up for me to grab
It is something worth trying
For I am still searching for the whys and wherefores of life

Life could be meaningful
If only I can fulfill my personal and social obligation
Thus, here I am with a path laid for me to decide
To decide the righteous way to carry on living
As long as HE permits...

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Hehe...I’m just trying my hand unto writing poetic verses. Well sometimes something’s just too easy to put into words...but sound unintresting. Sometimes something’s just too complicated to put into words...but seem too easy by action. Word...speak louder than action, even if it’s complicated. 

[What are the purpose for your little poetry?] asked by someone to me

"Dunno...maybe I’m just making an easy matter complicated, and somehow making the worst for words"

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...poem of fidelity 5-9-2004

Somebody is digging on my grave
Is it you, my love one...planting flowers?
No, yesterday he was wedded
Today one of the brightest wealth has bred
"It cannot hurt her now," he said
"That I had not been true"

Then who is digging on my grave
My nearest, dearest kin?
Ah no, they sit and think, "What use! What good will planting flowers produce?
No tendence of her mound, can loose her spirit from Death’s gin"

But someone digs on my grave
Is it my enemy...prodding sly?
No, when they heard you had passed the Gate
That shuts on all flesh soon or late
They thought you no more worth their hate
And cares not where you lie.

Then, who is digging on my grave?
Tell me...since I cannot guess!
Oh it is I, my mistress dear
Your little dog, who still live near
And much I hope, my movements here
Have not disturbed your sleep?

Ah yes, you dig on my grave!
Why flashed it not on me...that one true heart was left behind
What feelings do we ever find to equal among humankind...
A dog’s fidelity!

Mistress dear
I dig on your grave to bury a bone
In case I should be hungry near this spot when passing on my daily trot
I’m sorry...but I never forget that this was your resting place

Note: My dog San died in his sleep, he’s the last dog I ever own after Yi and Er were gone. I miss them...

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...poem of willfullness 9-10-2004

Water wanted to live...it went to the sun, it came weeping back
Water wanted to live...it went to the trees they burn, it came weeping back
Water wanted to live...it went to the flowers they crumpled, it came weeping back
Water wanted to live...it went to the womb it met blood, it came weeping back
Then it went to the tomb it met maggots and rottenness
It came weeping back...it wanted to die

It went to time through the stone door
It went through space for nothingness
Then it came weeping back...it wanted to die

Water wept and wept...till it has no weeping left
It lay at the bottom of all things
Utterly worn out
Completely clear

I know this poem is not at all congruent, well I’m just trying to maintain its directness ^^ about the magical quality of water

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...poem of reflectfullness 4-1-2005

I was run over by truth one day
Ever since the accident I’ve walked this way...

I heard the alarm clock screaming in pain, I couldn’t find myself
So I went back to sleep again...

Everytime I shut my eyes, all I see is flames
So I make a marble phone book and carved all the names

I smell something burning
I hope that it’s just my brain frying...

So stick my legs in plaster casts
So fill my ears with silver
So coat my eyes with butter
So stuff my nose with garlic

Now we can hang those memories on the wall

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...to a young poet 12-1-2005

For the first 20 years you're still growing
Bodily that is, as a poet of course
You're not born yet, it's the next 10 years

You cut your teeth on to emerge smirking
Your brash courtship won't be taken seriously
First affairs with young poets, with no attachments
Formed then but come to shame you
When love has turn to grave service

From 40 years onwards, you'll learn from sharp cuts and jags
Of poems that has come to pieces
In your crude hands how to assemble
With more skill the arbitrary parts
Of odes and sonnets
While time foster new impulses to conceal your wounds

You're old now
As years reckon, but in that slower years of poet's
You're just coming to sad adulthood

Note: It’s a hard and cruel world...you see, although this poem is written in the second person but it’s really addressed to the poet. Me to myself. A kind of hopeless labour

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...this is dedicated to that tramp 15-1-2005

A knock at the door, and he stands there
A tramp with his can, asking for tea
Strong for a poor man
On his way to...where?

He looks at his feet, I look at the sky
Over us the plane flew
The shifting rafters of the new world
We have sworn by

I sleep in my bed
He sleep in the old dead leaves in the ditch
My dreams are haunted
Are his dreams rich?
If I wake up early, he wakes up cold...

Note: Is poverty a sin? A poor man is often living in shame. He’s not expecting a hand-out but a hand-in...it’s a world of different problems with unreachable justice and compassion *sigh*

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...my solemn dedication toward the perished storm victims 18-1-2005

Miles off, a storm breaks
It ripples to our room

You look up to the light so it catches one side
Of your face, your tight mouth, your startled eyes
You turn to me, and when I call you come
Over and kneel beside me, wanting me to take
Your head between my hands
As if it's a delicate bowl that the storm might break

You want me to get between you and the brute thunder
But settling on your flesh, my great hands stir
Pulse on you, and then wondering how to do it

Grip the storm
Roll through me as your mouth open wide

Note: I’m not trying to reproach GOD but it’s disheartening after all the deaths during the Tsunami quake. What is HE showing by turning the world upside down, resentful indignation?

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...one cold nightmarish night, I think of as I crawled into bed 21-1-2005

The dead don't SHARE
Though they reach towards us from the grave
(I swear they do)
They don't hand in their hearts to you
They hand in their heads
The part that STARE

Note: Childish ~ I know haha! I never sleep with the lights off!!!

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...poem on church going 25-1-2005

Wings stirred the sunlit dust
Of the catheral in which
The past is buried to its chin in marbles

Note: Hehhh...I wasn’t concentrating while in church :P:P:P daydreaming while composing this in my head haha

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...poem of confusion and dejection 29-1-2005

A bee, a living bee at the window glass
Trying to get out - doomed
It can't understand

Note: If I didn’t open the window glass, will the bee still buzz forever? If it wanted to get out, why did it come in the first place just to want get out in the end?

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...I wrote this on Cameron’s Highland 10-2-2005

In the glazed greenery of hedge and ivy
And edible strawberries
The lilies are white, remote and extreme
Would they become our guardians?
...but what if they're just as barbarian?

Note: I was on Chinese New Year break at Cameron’s. Looking at the strawberries, huge lilies, cactus so menacingly threatfull yet so sereneously lovely...I was thinking that they’re talking about us!!! Seriously...

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...sunlight on the garden 13-2-2005

The sunlight on the garden, hardens and grows cold
We can't cage the minute, within its nets of gold
When all is told, we cannot beg for pardon

Our freedom as fire lances, advances towards its end
The earth crumples, upon its own sonnets
And soon, my friend...we shall have no more time for dances

The sky was good for flying
Defying the church bells, and every evil irons
Sirens and what will it tell, till the earth crumples

So I never expect for pardon, never ever
Hardened in my heart's anew
But I'm just glad to have him sat under thunder and rain with me
And I'm grateful too
For the sunlight on the garden

Note: I turned him down again, sorry I’m not ready for commitment

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...my traveller’s poem 15-2-2005

Four days in another city
To say I see in all that I see
But ah, it all looks whole and part ~
Long live my eyeball and my lucid heart

Note: I composed this short one in the car, home from Cameron’s after Chinese New Year break

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...poem of respect for old people 20-2-2005

Ripeness is all in her cool planet
But don't think that she's wasted
Project her with no projectile
Just be cool, and let the sun outlast its rays

Our earth has no name given by GOD
So don't hold her leap to aid her
For her landing, they seem odd and may break palaces!

So no to your telescope, to spy on her
But watch her ritual, it's there to see

Years of her precession, are still in gear
She read her compass, certain of her pole
She's confident, and find no failing crops

The stars are so far from me to ever fill my nights
Ah ~ strange that she can access to them!

She still shares my sun, while the sun curtain her from sight
But in the darkness she is so visible!

Note: Don’t take OLD for granted, they aren’t old...just OLDER and due for respect ^^

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...my purposeful waiting, is it worthwhile after all? 22-2-2005

The host is waiting
He must quench the lamps
And pass alive into the house
Far away, she is waiting for him
Where the lamps and wine are set, for supper by the lake
But he still waits in the house
Still quenching his lamps
She's waiting for him, waiting, waiting
He is still fighting to resist the temptation to go to her

Note: sigh ~

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[deathclock.com says that my time is up on Sunday, March 9, 2064]

I dunno, I just key in several info about my weight and stuff it came out with calculations based on that on how long shall I live. I was expecting an earlier date :P:P nothing wrong with expecting for the worst. Ajal maut di tangan Tuhan, suratan nyawa bagai sudah ditakdirkan

Say things like [Seth] it’s only but fair to be fair or unfair with Death...

Who own this scrawny feet? Death
Who owns this bristly scorched-looking face? Death
Who own this still-looking lung? Death
Who own this utility coat of muscle? Death
Who own this unspeakable gut? Death
Who own this questionable brain? Death
All this messy blood? Death
This minimum-efficiency eye? Death
This occasional wakefulness? Death
Given, stolen or held pending trial? Held
Who own the rainy, stony earth? Death
Who own all of space? Death
Who is stronger than hope? Death
Who is stronger than will? Death
Stronger than love? Death
Stronger than life? Death

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But who is stronger than Death? YOU

...world without end, amen