i have brown hair hazel eyes and as sexy as ever!!!



...




...

...

how many f's in this sentence look only once



FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
...

I shave my legs,

I sit down to pee.

And I can justify

any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber,

but a beauty salon.

I can get a massage

without a hard-on.

I can balance the check book,

I can pump my own gas.

Can talk to my friends,

about the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece,

and yes, it takes long.

At least I can admit,

to others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles,

at any cost.

And I don't have a problem,

admitting I'm lost.

I never forget,

an important date.

You just gotta deal with it,

I'm usually late.

I don't watch movies,

with lots of gore.

Don't need instant replay,

to remember the score.

I won't lose my hair,

I don't get jock itch.

And just cause I'm assertive,

Don't call me a bitch.

Flowers are okay,

But jewellery's best.

Look at me you idiot...

Not at my chest????

I don't have a problem,

With Expressing my feelings.

I know when you're lying,

You look at the ceiling.

Don't say to your friends,

Oh yeah, I can get her.

In your dreams, my dear,

I can do better!
....

....
FEMALE COMEBACKS
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.



Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.



Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.



Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.



Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.



Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized



Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.



Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?



Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.



kissing is a habit,
f***ing is a game,
guys get all the pleasure,
girls get all the pain.
The guy says i love you,
you believe its true,
but when your tummy starts to swell,
he says 'to hell with you'.....
10 minutes of pleasure..
9 months of pain...
3 days in the hospital,
a baby without a name.
the baby is a basterd,
the mother is a whore.
This never would have never happend,
if the rubber wouldn't have torn

....

this is true love


A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on the road.


Girl* Slow down! Im scared!


Guy* No this is fun.


Girl* No its not! Please its too scary!


Guy* Then tell me you love me.


Girl* Fine. I love you!! Now please, slow down!


Guy* Now give me a BIG hug!


*Girl hugs him*


Guy* Can u take my helmet off & put it on? Its buggin me.


- In the paper the next day a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it but only one surivied.
The truth was that half way down the road, the guy realizes his breaks broke. He didnt want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time. Then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die

....

29 things Girlz want Guyz to know

1. We want to be hugged

2. We want you to show us affection even when people you know are around.

3. We have peverted minds SOMETIMES

4. Don't take us for granted.

5. If you like us, make your move before someone else does.

6.If you don't shave, don't expect us too...EVERYDAY!!

7. Even though we're perfectly okay with it, don't tell us to kiss our friends to turn you on unless you're willing to do the same.

8. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.

9. We don't care how sexy your ex was.

10. We absolutely do not care about how hot you think other girls are even if were not going out with you!!!

11. Even though you almost never are, we'll pretend that you're right sometimes.

12. Its not our job to make all the plans.

13. We understand that size doesn't matter.

14. We're not as shallow as you think we all are.

15. PMS is ALWAYS an excuse.
16. On that note, anything we say or do during that 4 days to a week each month cannot be held against us.

17. Vin Deisel IS hot, so get over it.

18. We like it when you say that you're sorry (even if its not entirely your fault)

19. The excuse "I can't dance" is absolutely unacceptable...we'll appreciate the effort.

20. Make fun of us...prepare to DIE!

21. The "little things" are really the biggest things

22. No girl just wants to be "your friend with benefits".

23. Don't smoke and expect us to kiss you, its gross beyond words.

24. We're sensitive.

25. When we trip and or fall, throw yourself upon the altar of sacrifice and humiliate yourself to make us feel better.

26. Don't lie to us...ever.

27. If we take the time to write you cute notes, write us back, we really
like that.

28. Hold our hand.

29. At least 98% of you guys who are reading this REALLY should take my advise, it'll make your life a lot easier.

....
[THINGS GUYS SAY AND WANT GIRLS TO KNOW]

1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.
2. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER.
3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.
4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
5. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.
6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.
7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more.
9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10. We never shave our legs. So get over it.
11. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong............
12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.
13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14. We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and go pee.
16. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong."
17. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while. We like to know that you love us.
18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.
19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what you wish for.
20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would say". That's just mean.
21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.
22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.
23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship
24. PMS is not an excuse.
25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.
26............ Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.
27. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach..... and maybe....oh nevermind.
28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it's just wrong.
29. We always notice how funny it is after you rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want to be friends.
30. We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway
31. And last but not least: If your fighting a guy and your winning no matter how much you say it HE is still letting you win!