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hi im Andrew and heres some of ma friends on elftown

RYT JUST TO GET THIS STRAIGHT!!! MY NICKNAME IS MADE UP OF TWO PARTS, BILLY BECAUSE A HAVE NO FRIENDS AT MA HOME VILLAGE CUS THEY ALL SMOKE AND THEIR CHAVS AND THE SECOND PART IS HOMA AS IN HOMA SIMPSON DONT WORRY AM NOT A HOMEASEXUAL AND IF YOU PUT BILLY AND HOMA TOGETHER YOU GET BILLYHOMA BUT THAS TO MUCH OF A TONGUETWISTER SO IT IS ABRIEVIATED TO   BILMA

ALLRIGHT, DOES THAT ANSA UR QUESTION????


WELL A HOPE IT DOES CUS AM NOT EXPLAINING IT TO ANY OTHER MENTALLY CHALLENGED PERSON ON THIS SITE

1.What do you call a Chav in a box?
Innit.
2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted.

3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe...

4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.

5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of Stairs.

6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.

7. If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.

8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"

10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.

11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.

12.What do you call a chav in a suit?
The accused

13.What do you say to a chav in a uniform?
Big Mac and Fries please.

AM HATIN THE WORLD AT THE MOMENT BECAUSE EVERY TIME SOMETHIN GOOD HAPPENS, GIVE IT 5 MINUTES AND I BET ITS FUCKED UP.



[~x~Amy~x~]=amy mc

[lil miss sxy]

[~*~lil looby~*~]


[mumbo]=m8=alice


[◊◊!RoWaN!◊◊]=gr8 m8=rowan

email me!!! [bilmanator@hotmail.co.uk]

[munkey man (i luv *****)]=m8=alice boy frnd=chris




[YoU cOnFuSe Me] m8=hannah



[.Emz!]=m8=emma


[Abbieeee *BANG!!*]=m8=abi


[Amy ツ]=m8=amy



[Miss-Pengywin]=alice again


[Dunksta]=m8=duncan


[bilma]donkin me



[$Pat$]=m8=michael/pat





[russel da randy 1]=m8=russel


[Hippyfied Hippy!]=m8=shane

And if ur ma friend and i havnt put u on txt me and tel me



I wanna give you a hug but,
a hug leads to a kiss,
a kiss leads to a lick,
a lick leads to a suck,
and a suck leads to a fuck.
hmm... wanna hug?!


30 THINGS THAT WIll MAKE YOUR PARENTS GO CRAZY
1. Follow them around the house everywhere...
2. Moo when they say your name...
3. Run into walls...
4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...
5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...
6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...
7. Wear a sticker that says, "I’m a retard"...
8. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time...
9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...
10. Do what they actually tell you...
11. Jump off the roof, trying to fly...
12. Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people...
13. At everything they say yell, Liar...
14. Try to swim in the floor...
15. Tap on their door all night...
16.Pretend to have amnesia...
17.Say everything backwards...
18.Give yourself a swirly...
19.Run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling, "the sun!!! it's dying!!!"...
20.Sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house...in your underwear...
21.Have nervous spasms at spontaneous times...
22.Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder...
23.Run in circles...
24.Recite a whole movie 3 times...
25.Pretend to beat yourself up...
26.Slither everywhere...
27.Wear your pants on your head and your shirt on your waist... tell them you're making a fashion statement...
28.Try and drink out of a glass the wrong way...
29.Super glue your finger up your nose...
30.Talk to a pen...


*Jack and jill
went up the hill
to smoke some marijuania
jack got high
unzipped his fli
and asked Jill "do you wanna"
Jill said yes
dropped her dress
she was gonna have some fun
but silly jill
forgot her pill
and now they have a son!

Kissing is a habit
fucking is a game
guys get all the pleasure
girls get all the pain.
The guy says i love you
you believe its true
but when your tummy starts to swell
he says 'to hell with you'.....
10 minutes of pleasure..
9 months of pain...
3 days in the hospital
a baby without a name
the baby is a bastard
the mother is a whore
This never would have never happend
if the rubber wouldn't have torn!!!!


SEX IS A SENSATION
CAUSED BY TEMPTATION
WHEN A GUY STICKS HIS LOCATION
INTO A GIRLS DESTINATION
TO INCREASE POPULATION
FOR THE NEXT GENERATION
YOU GET MY EXPLANATION
OR DO U NEED A DEMONSTRATION?



A girl and guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road..


Girl: Slow down. I’m scared.


Guy: No, this is fun.


Girl: No, it’s not. Please, it’s too scary!


Guy: Then tell me you love me.


Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!


Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.


*Girl hugs him*


Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It’s bugging me.



(In the paper the next day)
A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn’t want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die



♥ If you lv some1 this much put dis on ur page♥


There once was a man from china
who wasnt a very good climber.
He fell on a rock
Cut of his cock
And now he's got a vagina!


*Zippy and Bungle went to the jungle,
To have a bit of fun.
Zippy got silly and pulled out his willy and stuck it up Bungles bum!








*In the jungle
Under a tree.
A mans selling condoms
for only 99p
Big ones small ones
choose you pick
It all depends on the size of your dick.



*Thers a granny in an alley
with he finger up he fanny
does it smell?
sniff sniff
fucking hell! (yes)



*i would hug you but
a hug leads to a kiss
a kiss leads to a lick
a lick leads to a suck
a suck leads to a fuck
Wanna hug?!



*math is like sex
u add the bed
subtract the clothes
divide the legs
and hope u dont multiply!!!
lol!!!!!!!


Hey if ave missed you out then txt me and al put you on even if i dont know you 

Fill out nd message da reply please!

[A white man yells to a black man. "Hey colored boy! You're blockin my view."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black"
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
copy and paste this in your house if your AGAINST racism!]

1.Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your house and see what I say about you?

SEE IF YOU CAN READ THIS, ITS A THING CALLED TYPOGLYCEMIA!!



I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch taem at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny
iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The
rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is
bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a
wlohe. Such a cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is retards cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word from
each line

that wus ma house a hope you liked my poems