I wrote this poem the day before I told my last boyfriend (now boyfriend again) that I liked him.

"Hope and Decisions"

It's been so long since I've felt this way.
Lost, happy, confused, excited.... all results of my desires.
The pit in my stomach grows larger as I try to find reason.
As I try to find the happy medium that will make life sweet.
I can see the blazing fires,
The cold rivers,
The dieing trees,
And the lingering drops of hope that sit in the bottom of the cup.
Just waiting.... and listening.
The stars spell out the answer that no one can read.
I lay in bed trying to find the right equation to solve the problem.
The dicision difficult and frustraiting....
But in the end I'll know I didn't let life slip on by....
Into an oblivion where there are no second chances.
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Standing alone on top of a hill overlooking the valley, a girl stands. It's night and she is once again alone. Her hair whips around in the wind. Flowing like moonlight her dress sweeps along the ground. On the outside she is beautiful but cold and distant. Her mind travels like none other, but always calm. Always meaningful. Yearning for meaning and true life, she never stays long. Her heart and soul growing ever weaker as her search continues. Hope is still there but never relied on. Pain is all that stays in this world where no one even knows themselves.
________________________________________________________

Hello my dear?
Tell me if you know me.
Tell me if you ever really cared.
Rip my bleeding heart from my chest and tell me what you see.
If I do not cry what do you think that means?
I've erased you from my hopes.
A lost cause that only created pain.
I give you a little piece of my heart, for you to remember me as I walk away for this final time.
For in my heart is where you are...
And that's where you'll always be.