my name is adelle, and i am one awfully pretentious little coon. I am
unfortunately another person who is unreasonably self-absorbed, mostly
intelligent, and an overwhelming failure at life. my favorite colors
are atomic turquoise and halogen. I take everything too seriously (except
for when I should.) I will freak out or get excited over the stupidest shit.
When confronted with either stunning astronomical phenomena or cats my IQ
drops about eighty points. I stick my fingers into animal cages. I stick my
fingers in my mouth. I stick my fingers into other people's mouths. Hell, I
stick my fingers into everything. I am the eighteen-year-old manifestation
of your first-grade art class. I eat paste. I invented the ten-year rule for
dropped food items ("THERE IS A BURRITO UNDER THE SOFA HOLY SHIT"). In the
event of an ammunition shortage, you could lock me in a room with an awkward
moment and I would sweat enough bullets to last years. That probably falls
under the category of social anxiety but maybe it's just compensation for my
ability to tolerate watching things far more torturous. Like disembowelment,
or childbirth. I am an absolute whore for attention. If I like you I'm
definitely thinking about screwing you at least twice daily. I think petty
revenge is oftentimes not as petty as it seems. The concept of hate makes me
uncomfortable, but I'd still be okay with killing people who do nothing but
annoy me. I frequently waffle. I can't remember the last time I kept a
promise. Paradoxically, I hate disappointing people. I am one competitive
little shit, but I am also frustratingly teeny, and you could almost
certainly beat me down if it came to it. Even if you're twelve. I am rather
passionate about physical contact, but little else. Adventures are possibly
my favorite things in the entire world. Like Best Western, I am mostly
accommodating and will clean up after you. I make horrible decisions and
sometimes treat people like shit, but I mostly have good intentions am
essentially powered on nothing but affection and orange juice. So, yeah.
Suspend your apprehensions. I know I'm absolutely impossible, but you are
basically guaranteed eternal love for trying to make it work.