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OK, me. I am 17, in year 11, live in the Northern Territory, Australia, which is a big patch of swamp filled with crocodiles. I kid you not. They swarm all over the piers and scare the tourists.

I also have cancer, and I'm blind in my left eye. I basically live in hospital so I don't come on Elftown very often any more.

 

[_SOMETIMES LIFE HURTS_]

 

My fucking History teacher failed me because she thinks I've been skipping classes. Fucking idiot of a woman, I sometimes feel sick and have go to sickbay. Someone as stupid as her deserves to be shot.

[There is no savior for Cayley]

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His that is Death is my becoming
Surety as man must sleepeth
On my behalf He catches my dreams
And bottles them. All my Life to put on hold.
And certainty as man must Want
He shall soon come for me.
He shall say, “Welcome, dear child.
I dreamt of thee.”

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It's almost Summer!

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I hate the teen angst thing. I hate feeling sorry for myself. But I do. I feel so fucking sorry for myself.
I am 17 and I have a brain tumor. The best I can hope for is for it to just evaporate. Which it isn't going to do.
When I went blind in my left eye, I panicked. I thought this was it. I cried for days.

Mum is 'traumatized' all the time. They say she's "stressed". What goddamn right does she have to be stressed when I'm going to DIE?

Dad doesn't say much either.

I think they sometimes forget about my sister. Sometimes I am glad. My sister can have all their love when they are gone. I need it all now. But sometimes I feel bad. She's turning into a hypochondriac. Stupid little bitch. She wants attention. I can't spare her my time. I don't have any more to give. All of my energy goes into living, into breathing, into staying calm, to stop myself from screaming. I don't have any more left but the doctors, everyone, life, they all keep demanding more of me. I'm exhausted. And I'm terrified. I'm scared so fucking scared shitless.

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i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live i want to live

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someone save me