have you ever laid on the cold ground with the rest of your pack and watch the steam of youre breath rise into the night air cascading over the moons shadow that is what i feel like right now u think that we live in a good world well guess what we dont this world is only what u make of it i have found some verry dear frends over the years some are fake and some i have brought into my pac incase u havent noticed i love wolves i will have pictuers up soon i hope but any ways back to the night and the things that lurk in it .........like umm..........me yes i am a night child i love it when the cold brease goes past my nose and i feel the twitch in my nose ah yes what a good night for a hunt well untill next time remmember you may see a lone wolf but remmember his pack is not far behind in the shadows

i have a bad past and dont like to talk about it much but if u are a friend you probibly allready know about it and if you whant to know and if i can trust you i will tell you but i am not ashamed of it i have pulled a great many lessons out of my pain and i feal i grow even more wise every day i am allways ready to help people no matter what the subject is i am allways looking for deep convo and good friends that is all from me untill then blessed be

i have been doing a lot of soul searching and i found that my love for music and love for makeing peopel happyshould be combined some how and through my efforts over the years i have proven my self time and time again so i will try to spread joy and comfurt in this place elftown this place i call home and and i thank all of you who have welcomed me with open arms so i will do my best to make all my friends and every one that wishes to conversate with me there days will be happy or i will die trying

well i am finaly fealing more free i am seeing art every where right now and i love it my eyes are open to the naturale wonders of the world and my landscape that i paint with my mind is flooding back the nights i once lost and the winds that calm the savage beast

i am going to put some of my poetry on hear so i hope you people like it

       war of the ancestors
i still wonder of the wars of the past
if they still go on and if they still last
my ancestors died in your war
but i think what did they really die for
where you just making money
do you think all this loss is funny
can you really put a price on life
or should you be the ones cut by the peoples knife
you can hurt my family and you can attack me
but in my mind i will all ways stand free
but for this government i live in tries to repress me
but for my ancestors i will never give a knee
i will do what it takes to live
if it takes to the last drop of blood i will give


the time once lost

the time once lost is a tragic thing
looking through the trees and sleeping with the sounds of nature all around me
this is time i onced lived
my hart once beet with the joys of tranquility
but now they are gone
nothing left but the cold fact of the time once lost
now my hart is in the mountains of far off lands
running with the wolves
but yet i know a part of that world i can never be
for i am human and i make the time once lost


well this new section is going to be my rant sectoin and i hope people give a good long think about this padge and hope they are inspired.
                                                  a blind eye now opend
i recieved to day in the mail a book. a great book on the uses of propoganda in the comercial indestry. and the alienation of the true self. it has encouraged me neh inspired me to do a rant every day and to take a second guess at who and what people are saying to me excludeing real friend. i found that allmost every one has a hidden agenda and the ingnorance in the world is not seeing you own ignorace that is what oils the gears of the machine of opretion. you see i came from a small uneducated family my father never made it to high school and is paying for it in his old adge he can barely read and cant write anything but his own name with out help. and i allways was the black sheep of the family and never followed in the footsteps of what they said. and now many years down the road over rocky and hard times i am damn proud of it. my brother has money and power and he actualy bealves that the chemicals and weapons his company makes is for national defence. the guilty dont feel guilty if they learn not to. on the other hand you have me a young inspired wolf looking into the futare and has a mind of his own and is not controled by the tv. nor radio i have music and that speaks vollumes. allthough one can say that music can be used to brain wash . and that is true but you see the music i listen to are not created by major record labels and forced to make music to sell tickets ( coughs and mutters into the cough ) linkin park. the music i liste to stands up for who they are and refuse to be controlled by the majority of imbasils on the hill. many of them produce and record there own stuff so they can not be influenced by out side propoganda. granted i dont find my self skilled with writing. but at least i have the balls to get off of the sofa and put down the remot and try and put my words out into the populus and dont think i am just going to write this and let nothing become of it hahah ohhh no i am going to relece this into the world you see posting it on difrent web sites so people can view my words and find out for them selves who they are and question what people tell them . i wish no one to follow me but if they wish it is allways good to have friends that happen to go for the same couse that we all do. i am not a leader merly want to be an eye opener and releace a wave into teh mailstrum of lies and decet. and hopefully wake up a nation one by one and tell them watch out the idiots are taking over. and want you to become sheep that they can flok and hurd for there hidden agenda and for money. so i am saying use you mind , voice, pens, penciles, music, art, and computer to spread the message and dont become sheep become the wolf. and help us all open the gate and let the rest out. until next time. remmember the wolves can be hidden in sheeps cloathing but this one never will.


     a blind eye now open rant 2  today i was watching the news as usal . learning about curent events and it hit me. i switched to a difrent staion and they had the same story but the way the described it was compleatly difrent. so i started to think and do a littl research. it seems that some major tv. stations are owned operated and backed by political parties. wich in way creates "spin" on whta they air. now "spin" can be explained in a few ways. the way i think of it is take any subject or your choseing and then learn all the facts. and then to get YOUR message across tell half truthes and use half sentances. there for takeing the facts and bending them into your own way. so really i have learned today that propoganda is every where and the common blind american is blanketed in it every day and never notices. so next time you want to know something on the news look at all the stations and listen to what they all say and get all the facts. now these stations can do amaseing things with technoligy. be it sound and visual editing and just lies. and most of them get " donations " or just plain old immoral kick backs by political partys to air what the government wants you to think. and most of the time it is bad news for raitings. have you ever wonderd why when you turn on the news and it seems like they keep the worst most horrafieng sotry for the last. they do this so you are forced to watch and thus. they and there buddies on the hill get more cash in there allready buldging pockets. and we in this time are bombarded with fear campains. and you can see most of them on tv and in the news. fear of outsiders and of things not of the norm. or just difrent view points. i have been hearing a lot of debat about national security and what they intend to do about it. as i have noticed it seems that the price for protection is our freedoms. the government now taps phones and uses the flag system on instant message programs and in chat rooms. constantly being watched. and from what i have been hearing they will start to go through peoples mail. that is a major violation of personal freedome. where does this cycle end. this is starting to look a lot like the begining of the gastapo the nazi police force. compleatly driven by fear for the protection not of the every day citizen. but for the rich bastards calling the shots. if we truely want change and take back our freedoms. we need to stand and fight . remmember one voice can start a revolution. i do not bealeve in force threw violence. no no no intelagence and learning is the best weapon of them all. with enough knowledge and enough grits and guts. we can take this all back not by force but by voice. i stand for tolerance and equality. i am concerned for the children of the futare. this is one of the best times to be alive and yet one of the worst looking at all the hidden lies. the people who stand up against the evil and the lies of the government. is what i call true patriots. if you want some good learning material. i suggest a few things of interest. bands of interest are as follows. anti flag, bad religion, nofx, the u.s. bombs, and well flogging molly is allways amuseing plus they have some good ideas to ponder. and i bealeve history is important not school history true history. so here is the name of a amaseing historian his name is howard zin. and he is one of the best. and a great freedome fighter. in the peace movement. well on a closeing note i hope every one that reads this goes away with a bit more understanding on what we really live in. and if you wat change in this land dont go after the puppets fight the puppet master. yours trueley the awakend wolf.

Tales of old
Once there was a stone cutter. who was unhappy with his life. and one day he saw a rich buisness man riding in a carage. and the stone cutter said i wish i was a rich buisness man. and sudenly he was. he was riding in a a carage. but then came a long a king and he was forced to bow to him as the king passed. and he then said i wich i was a king. and suddenly he was a king. in a large carage comanding armys and towns folk. then there was a storm fearce winds blew and made the people run far away into the distant lands. and the king was left with no one to bow to him. so he then said i wish i was a storm. and suddenly he was. high above the earth blowing his winds across the land forceing people to bow to him. all exept the mighty boulders who stould sted fast in his wake and did not move. he grew angry at this. and said i wish i was a stone. and sudenly he was a mighty boulder wind nor rain could move him and stould very sturdy opon the mountain. then all of a sudden he felt a pain allaround him. and he saw pieces of him fall to the ground. as he was being chiped away. and he looked and saw the colpret. it was a humble stone cutter fast at work. and soon the old stone cutter who once was a buisness man,king,storm, and not stone, was no more he was dust. i guess the moral of this is if you wish to powerfull as stone or king or storm. there will allways be something chiping away at you. so dont be mad at your current state some times you just need to grin and be thankfull for what you have and never miss an opertunity to be happy for what you have. and becarfull to wish for what you dont.

The thining of looks
today i went to the local mall to look around. there was really nothing much to do so i walked the mall and i came across a both of difrent things. they had mags and pappers and such. and besides me there where two i would say 25 year olds. looking at these mags of models. and i could over hear there talk. they bolth where complaining baout how heavy they where. now i am not a small person i have meat on my bones. and well i am ok with it. and if i ever want to change my look it would not be becouse of pop cultare. but becouse of bettering my health. and these two wimen where chating about how they wish they could lose a few more pounds. finaly i looked over and i was amased at what i saw. they where rail thin. i could see there ribs and there bones where right out there. only coverd by skin no fat what so ever. and i thought wow if they lost any more poulnds they would die pore things. and one of them said i have to lose 5 more pounds in two days i have a shoot in two days. and it blew me away. now how can people do this to them selves. i am much in love with a lass. that has stolen my hart and still does every day. but i see her as one of the most buitifull things my eyes have ever come across. now these wimen where allmost freakishly thin to me. and they thought they looked good and perhaps to some they might. but i think buoty is more than skin deep true buity lies in the hart and the mind. not the ten pounds of makeup cacked on that allmost makes up for your entire waight.the whole modeling industry i bealeve is destroying our perseption of what buity is. it is makeing us think that is only skin deep and if you are buitifull you can only way 95 pounds. and now many models smoke to keep wait off. luckly some places are cracking down on that. and smokeing is hard to stop i was smokeing for eleven years. and i quit it was hard but i did it. but people have to start to open there eyes and open there harts and stop letting mags and the media tells how what and when to feel and look. now like i said earlyer i am heavy and well the lass that stole my hart is to. but we are comfurtable to how we feel and we think it is more than looks that defy buity so all thos yuppie models. go have a twinkie and we shall join ya. se ya at the food cort.