Quotes from the Stanley Freaks

yup people, now everyone can share them :)

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Danielle:

"£1.50 that cost me... in guilt, so then whenever you feel good about yourself, you just look at the pen and think 'i'm a thief'"

"it's a photosynthesising Diagram"

"this was all intended to exploit my good nature wasn't it? i am shocked at this display of - erm... there's not many words to describe it really - TREACHERY! i'm going to audition for eastenders now. so remember, when you're sat at home eating fish and chips on a friday night with your partner, remember i was the one who inspired you to eat chips on a friday, yes - only a friday. well, thursday too, but thursday's the day before friday"

"i can spot your use of compound sentences, don't worry sean."

"I don't want to be a philosopher, I like the film the Philosopher's stone though..."

"Did you ever work for Samaritans? Did you used to be a lowlife?"

"i like all kinds of pie"

"Doesn't Mr Walton and Mr Ashford sound better than Mr Wallace and Ashby. I should invent names, they's sound so much better. But your name is ok, Sean Scott."

"So you'll be glittery tartan minstrels?"

"SAVE THE TREES! Without them we wouldn't be breathing... Deforestation people! it's wrong; all wrong."

"GET A BATH NIKKI"

"Sean fell asleep you know. i mean, i know i'm boring but i don't like to think i send people to sleep. Stop exploiting me! You know i didn't really send him to sleep - he fell asleep because i wasn't there."

"i'm not gonna say anything after this... this... this... this..."

"This music is distracting me from my learning! it's worse than the Frosties advert. i auditioned for that advert - nearly ended my life when i didn't get in."

"our survey say [insert family fortunes sound effect]"

"i was enjoying my little colouring session there..."

"it's not the work that counts, it's the fun we have in these lessons. if you added up all the fun, we'd ve the work done"

"From the words of the gospel... If Jesus was a saint why can't i be?"

"How did Mr Conway gain so much weight over the summer? Can you imagine how much he'll gain over Christmas?"

"STOP EXPLOITING ME!"

"There's a difference between thick and stupid. Aww, now that is stupid!"

"If i don't talk, people think I'm ill, but if i do talk people bloody write it down!"

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Geniebabe

"is she a violent lover Nikki?"

"GO ON! touch his hair!"

“What was that ally? *picks up mouse* I love the way it feels against my cheek”

“you’re like a malteaser, brown on the outside yet blonde on the inside, yet Sean, you’re more like a white chocolate malteaser, blonde on the inside, and the outside”

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Ally

"The day monobrow became Duobrow..."

"A mullet, a manicure and an eyebrow wax"

"i'll get you with a staple pin!"

"i know gina so well that i could easily walk around her kitchen blindfolded holding a magnet... and not get stuck to anything"

"For God's Sake can you not just leave stuff alone? Christ have you got the attention span of a bloody Nat?"

"I'll fight you for him! *insert feeble Ally and Gina fight scene* Oh... oh no, you've won! He's your wife now!"

"It's like looking at a teapot and saying, you're a teapot."

"look gina! there's two! there's six! Ah... it's gone. it should be a book: the line that wouldn't go away, until it did."

"At least we don't enslave chipmunks for music"

“How come everyone has their blue things, they just keep appearing!”

"it's like one of those cone bras... if you're the woman looking at it..."

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Seanicus

"Why am i sitting here? Why am i sitting here? Well maybe it's because no one's cared for the past week."

"Do you want to buy some shampoo? it's two bottles of weller vitality for a pound."

"We were at the restaurant yesterday and the waiter came out and we were all like... *Looks in awe*... He was like really fit! But the waitress wasn't, she was all small and dumpy. We were all like 'you're not getting a tip' *look of disgust*"

"what's a fleece?"

“Look! He has an extra arse”

“oh yeah, my elbow. It’s like el with bow on the end”

"Step away Philip Hewson i can smell you..."

"Yesyesyes! I got five out of five how proud am I of me... very!"

"Who's Bucket Jones? *looks closely at poster* oh... Bridget Jones"

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P.Hewson (Monobrow)

"Shhhh! he's contacting the chicken!"

"At least I brush my hair, you just get up, scrape it across the wall and you're ready"

"Jamie, i bet they've got geet PowerPoints of you"

"Domestic? isn't that some kind of bleach?"

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Ramdom People

Hardcore Chav Craig Draper
*Drops knife on floor*...*looks at it*
"Aww, Unlucky like, well you can stay there you stupid little fucker!"

Hayley Swinbank
"Jehovah's their god, and God's our god"

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The Stanley Freak's Quotificatious Convos