C h a p t e r V

W h e n I n R o m e. . .

“Look!”

The Gang was standing on the top point of a hill, overlooking a dense region of rough terrain and jungle to the south. They had been hiking in the wilderness for about six days now, and were still a week’s journey from the ruins of Nephi-Lehi. This rugged and difficult landscape was the southern pass that led into Lamanite territory. It was known by most Nephites as the Narrow Neck of the Wilderness.

By now the Gang was getting used to traveling through the jungle, eating strange foods, watching out for poisonous serpents, and just plain getting along with no indoor plumbing. Of course, Kenzi was still complaining about having to use the rock. Just as Gigel had promised, the journey south was much harder.

They journeyed from sun up to sun down, in the blistering humid jungle. At night they slept in the cold, and posted watchmen every hour. The trail had led through some fascinating landscapes, which probably would have been pretty to look at on any regular hike, but was in no way easy to journey through.

Twice they had climbed down the side of a cliff, and three times they had climbed up one. Water was hard to find, but they kept large quantities of it, and never seemed to run too low.

Jon had been separated from the Gang in the land southward for almost a month now. It seemed reasonable to guess that the Lamanites had taken him captive in the prospect of putting him in their army. Brian had reported him wearing a weird outfit, but was sketchy on the details. Apparently Jon had told Brian that they would meet soon enough, but this too he was vague about. The Gang pressed onward, not knowing what to expect…

Richard had been the one that yelled out, and was now pointing down into the valley they were overlooking. A small army of Lamanites was marching up the slope of the hills towards their location. They were still about half a mile away, but one particular figure stood out from the rest leading the army.

“Hey guys, look! It’s Jon!” Brian said, pointing his ghostly finger in the same direction.

In front of the army and dressed as warrior was Jon. He had a sword in one hand, and a bow slung about his back. It was still too far away to tell what he was doing, but it almost looked like he was leading the army. Every which way he turned the rest of the troops followed. Right now he seemed to be conversing with someone by his side.

“Jon!” Kenzi tried yelling out, but he was still too far away.

“He can’t hear you, we’ve gotta…”

Without warning, Brian suddenly took off down the hill and met the army at a slope about half way up the side.

“Brian! Wait!” Richard tried calling after him, but it was too late.

The entire army had spotted Brian from a distance, but hadn’t realized that he was a ghost yet. Jon, however, instantly recognized him.

“Oh shiitake mushroom…” He muttered under his breath.

The army began charging up the hill, and ran towards the slope where Brian floated, waiting for them. Arrows came flying his way, and the few that did hit passed right through him. By now the army was almost upon him, and at first glance realized that he wasn’t human. All feet began to slow down, and everyone was gaping openmouthed at the silvery figure floating a few feet away.

“BOO!” Brian yelled, fake jumping forward. Jon arrived just in time to see his men freak out, Taka in the lead.

“RUN! A NEPHITE DEMON!” Taka yelled.

The army turned tail, and took off running towards the edge of a cliff. Jon cut them off several yards from the edge, but the army kept running.

“SOLDIERS! STOP! I ORDER YOU TO STOP!” Jon kept yelling, but to no avail.

“RAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!” Brian was shouting whatever came to mind, chasing the army towards the cliff’s edge.

Jon yelled in one last futile attempt. “TAKA! STOP! NOOOOOOOOOO!”

The entire army rushed forward, pushing against each other, creating a massive title wave. Jon was hit, and engulfed in the group. They all kept running, Brian right behind them, until they came plowing over the cliff, falling into the jungle below.

“Noooooooo! JON!” Kenzi yelled, watching helplessly as everyone went over the edge.

The Gang and Ninjas came down the hill quickly, and stopped at the edge next to Brian. Brian floated motionlessly, looking over the side of the cliff.

“Whoops…” he said sheepishly.

Kenzi gasped upon looking over the edge. Amazingly, Jon was about ten feet down, holding on to a weed’s root that was imbedded deeply in the cliff side. He looked up to see everyone else looking down at him.

“A little help, please?” Jon asked sarcastically.

A chunk of the vine came out of the cliff, and he sank two extra feet.

“Jon!” The entire group yelled simultaneously.

“Now!” Jon yelled back.

The Ninjas had been frantically searching through their supplies, and finally produced a long, thick rope. Gigel made a special knot for Jon to grip, and then threw it over the edge. It hit Jon on the forehead, and then slipped next to his side. Everyone grabbed part of the rope, and held it tight as Jon climbed on.

“One-two-three! Pull!” Richard yelled.

They slowly all backed up, and Jon’s figure came into view. He was surprisingly light, and the trip up was quick. One more heave, and they’d pulled him over the ledge. Jeneum grabbed one of his hands, and helped him to his feet. Jon dusted himself off, and looked up at the Gang and Ninjas.

“Jon, are you okay?” Kaitlin asked.

“In all honesty, Kaitlin, I don’t know…” He replied, reaching back behind himself, as though expecting to find something there.

When he didn’t find it, he began feeling himself over quickly, as though he was looking for something. Everyone watched him curiously, but said nothing as he continued to search.

“Where is it? Where is it?!” He said frantically.

He finally stopped, and pulled out a small pack from behind his bow. Inside was a bottle that appeared to be made of glass. Jon pulled off the cap, and began drinking.

“Oh yeah. I’ve been waiting for some of this…” He said, relishing his drink.

He capped it, put it back in his bag, and threw the bag back over his shoulder. Jon then turned, and began hiking back up the hill. As he walked away, everyone half expected him to turn around. But he didn’t, and continued up the hill.

“Jon, where the heck are you going?” Kenzi asked confused.

Jon turned around and faced them. His countenance had changed, and he didn’t have that same youthful look about him anymore…this was much more serious.

“You guys just destroyed my army. I was going to use them to help the Nephites win in the battle of Zarahemla, but that isn’t going to happen. So now I must go warn them from the dangers that I have seen.” Jon turned and started to trudge back up the hill again.

“Wait! What’s that supposed to mean? The battle of Zarahemla?” Richard yelled up at Jon.

Jon finally stopped, turned around, and began walking back to the rest of the Gang. The Ninjas seemed quite confused, and only watched for the time being.

“We were an advanced patrol. Thanks to Brian here, now we can’t report back to the main Lamanite army. That’s pretty good grounds to launch the first invasion.”

“Wait…” Kaitlin began. “There aren’t any Lamanite/Nephite battles in this part of the Book of Mormon.”

“That’s right.” Richard replied. “And what makes you think an army of Lamanites would have aided the Nephites anyway?”

Jon shook his head. “The junior-sergeant of this squad was my friend…he would have helped…” Jon trailed off, and there was a moment of silence.

“Can’t we just…dress ourselves up in some Lamanite clothing…run back to their camp…and, cry bloody murder?” Kaitlin suggested.

“Oh there’s a plan.” Jon said sarcastically. “Just stroll up to the Lamanites, and say that they killed the patrol. And don’t forget that we’re back in the time when the Lamanites haven’t exactly mixed yet, and you don’t really have a tan.”

Kaitlin looked down in disappointment. Jon shook his head, and then began marching back up the hill.

“Wait, wait, wait…” Richard said, trying to keep a reasonable mood.

Jon once again stopped, and turned around.

“What if we…we could somehow…say, sabotage their battle plans?” Richard said, thinking it up at the spur of the moment.

“Elaborate.” Jon said, slowly pulling back out his bottle. He took another sip, and seemed to once again to enjoy it greatly.

“What is it that you keep drinking? I’m thirsty!” Richard asked, looking at the bottle suspiciously.

“No, I can’t bring you down to my level of horror and sin.” Jon said rather poetically.

Kenzi rolled her eyes, and looked away momentarily. The Ninjas continued to watch curiously.

“What is it, Jon?” Richard asked, rather accusingly.

“The only thing that I had to drink for the weeks you had abandoned me to fester in Hell!” Jon said right back in Richard’s face.

“Is that…wine?” Richard asked, catching a scent of the fumes.

“No, it’s grape juice.” Jon replied sarcastically.

The Ninjas were practically on the edge of their seats, watching this war of words play out…they had never seen a twenty-first century argument before. Richard opened his mouth, about to launch into a speech about the word of wisdom, but was interrupted by the sound of Brian cracking up in the background.

Everyone turned to see him floating nearby, laughing to himself. Jon set the bottle of wine back in his bag, and began marching over to Brian.

“Brian! I don’t have time for your…!”

“Ugh, guys. Look!” Kenzi said suddenly, pointing over the edge of cliff towards the south.

Everyone stopped, and walked towards the edge. The sun had been setting as they stood upon the hill, and now had actually sunk behind the horizon. Down in the valley, there were several torches burning brightly… It was an encampment of the Lamanite Army. The Ninjas were now on edge, and had all pulled out their weapons.

“Come on! Let’s go!” Kenzi said, as she began hiking down the hill.

“What? Why?” Richard yelled, still angry from his argument with Jon.

“If we’re going to sabotage their plans, then let’s do it now…!”

fin


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