Yami - Amethyst

_{Good Bond}



It was quiet—then again, why shouldn’t it be? It was late, very late. Most people were snuggled up in their beds at this hour dreaming beautiful dreams that they wouldn’t remember in the morning when they awoke…

Yami had never really been one of those people; sleep was often something that eluded him like so many answers in life that he sought. Which was why he was not dreaming beautiful dreams right now, but was instead sitting in a chair that was making his back ache, with eyes straining to read the text of a philosophers argument he simply couldn’t quite grasp.

The demon sighed quietly and fell against the chair. He pushed his glasses up so he could rub his eyes with one hand. It was so late, and no matter how badly he wanted to crawl into bed to cuddle into his lovers arms, he simply couldn’t. His mind wouldn’t leave him alone until he understood Qietha’s argument of morality. How could he grasp something so positively insane—something that promoted the very hatred that fueled the flames of nearly every person he had encountered as a child?

The candle that the man was reading under was growing dim so he stood, lifting it up and started to light other candles that had snuffed themselves out. There was a warm feeling about the room as the many flames reflected their orange glow off the array of books in the library. The Prince enjoyed the smells of the library…it was hard to explain but it brought him back to the part of his childhood that he had enjoyed—learning. He was always striving to learn. Learn, learn, learn—it was the only thing that others could not take away from him. His knowledge was his own and it was not a worldly possession that could be stolen. It was his to treasure and to nurture.

“Father?”

Yami about jumped out of his skin and turned sharply towards the door and some wax dripped onto his fingers. The demon cursed loudly, switching the candle into his other hand and trying to wipe the hardening wax off his hand. He raised his eyes after a moment and upon seeing his youngest son, Amethyst staring somewhat bewildered at him the Prince let out a soft and embarrassed laugh. “Amethyst? What are you doing up at this hour?”

“I could ask you the same thing…” The young man said softly. Amethyst had grown to be quite a beautiful thing. His hair was long, white and flowing in gentle waves down past his thighs and always seemed to fan out in a dream-like matter. His features were androgynous, yet irrefutably beautiful… and his eyes, sharp, almond shaped and a piercing violet were intelligent beyond their years. The most unusual about him was the crimson chakra placed in the middle of his forehead. Yami wasn’t sure how the chakra had come to be because when Kaelin had found the boy it had already been placed on him. It was an unusual thing, but Amethyst didn’t seem to mind.

“Hm… Well, you know how I get on rainy days.” Yami said quietly, glancing towards the window where the heavy drapes had been drawn. A rumble of thunder sounded off far in the distant followed then by the now audible sound of rain beating against the window.

Amethyst nodded quietly, doing well not to tremble. Storms were an uneasiness the two shared, though Amethyst had done well over the last handful of years to keep his discomfort a secret from his parents. When he was a little boy he use to climb into his parents bed crying and begging them to make the terrible noises stop. Now that he was older he simply locked himself away, hidden under mounds of blankets and pillows and tried to drown out the sounds of thunder. Tonight, however, he had been plagued with dreams, and the young man wasn’t so sure that they had been pleasant ones.

“Amethyst? What’s troubling you?” Yami titled his head curiously at his son who was staring with a far away gaze at nothing in particular. The snowy-haired man shook his head quickly and looked back at his father quizzically with raised eyebrows and his lips pressed in a questioning ‘O’. “Come here, Amethyst.” The Prince sat quietly at one of the chairs, motioning his son to sit with him. After a moments hesitation Amethyst sat beside him, folding his hands into his lap but did not look at the other.

There was a silence that was only betrayed by the powerful rain outside before Amethyst turned to his father, “I’ve been having these dreams…” —was it the sudden boom of thunder outside that made them both jerk slightly, or was it the strange dreams he was confessing chased him while he slumbered that was making his heart beat furiously in his chest suddenly?

“Dreams? What kind of dreams? Are they bad dreams?” Yami reached out to gently rest his hand on his sons shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “Tell me about them.”

Amethyst fidgeted absently with his white pajamas. What was he going to say? That he often dreamt of a peaceful place that he knew wasn’t the same world they lived in? A place where he had been content, peaceful… Sometimes the dreams would just be like that—gentle. Other times he would be in that same world but had such a sense of rage in his chest that it often made him ill when he awoke. It was as if he had loved the place so intensely but something there had made him so angry that he had left it—or, Amethyst suspected, he had been banished from it. Yet… why that word? Why banished? What were the dreams saying to him?

“Amethyst?”

“Father, do you believe in reincarnation?” Amethyst blurted out suddenly.

Yami blinked in surprise, sitting back and studying the other silently. After a moment his hand slipped away and he turned away slightly. He reached up to absently turn a page on one of the books he had been reading before he finally pulled his glasses off and set them on the desk quietly.

“When I was a little boy, long before I met Kaelin, I use to wonder sincerely about reincarnation.” A soft, tired sigh escaped him and hesitated, “I wondered if I died… if I would be reborn somewhere else… with people who wanted me. I use to pray that was true because I wanted that to be an option for me.”

Amethyst’s gaze fell to his own lap where he began to notice how he was fidgeting more. The man forced himself to stop before he slowly raised his hand and took his fathers. Yami looked at him, a little startled, but then he smiled. Amethyst didn’t know why, but he suddenly had to feel the other—despite the fact that Yami’s hands were cold… They always had been since as long as Amethyst could remember.

“I’m glad I didn’t do anything foolish.” Yami said quietly, “I don’t mean to sound like a cliché, but without the suffering I endured over my years I would have never become the father and husband I am today.”

“Though the suffering…” Amethyst other hand took his fathers, and he held the cold soft fingers between his own and continued, “it must have made you mad? Didn’t you think it was so pointless?” Why was he saying this? Amethyst wasn’t quite sure… There was something about pain… something that bothered him so greatly—he knew this because his dreams told him it bothered him.

Yami seemed to think about his sons’ words for a moment before he finally shook his head, “I don’t know, a little, I suppose. I think there are two different things that can happen to those who suffer. You can either learn from the suffering and you can try and help others and bring happiness to them… or you can become so overwhelmed with your pain that you make others hurt worse than you so you will feel as though you have power over the suffering you have.”

Amethyst’s fingers clenched unconsciously over his fathers fingers and he gritted his teeth, “But it’s so unnecessary, Father. Can’t you see that?”

Yami’s crimson gaze searched the fingers clinging so desperately to his hand and after a moment he spoke softly, sadly, “Suffering brought Kaelin and I together… Had I not been suffering or inflicting it onto others I would have never met Kaelin… which means I would have never raised any of you. Had I not suffered I may have even been married off to a young woman somewhere—since maybe racism wasn’t an issue, or maybe without suffering I would have never even been born with red eyes. Who knows what would have been had I not suffered…? Suffering has brought me happiness, Amethyst. Yes, it was painful when I was in those dark days, but now I have been lifted from them and it feels like it was all worth it… I would do it all over again if it brought me back to the life I have now. I would endure it all again in a heartbeat.”

Amethyst studied his fathers’ gentle face and knew that he was not lying… Yami would once again spend nearly his entire life being spit upon, cursed and beaten... He would do it all over again… for them. Something triggered in Amethyst’s heart and he felt tears suddenly in his eyes.

Quietly, because he could not think of anything to say, Amethyst reached out and pulled himself into the demons’ arms shuddering. Yami accepted the embrace in equal silence.

“You would do it all over again?” Amethyst whispered quietly, feeling his own tears, hot and wet, on his face as he pressed it to the others clothes. He needed to hear it, for some reason, he wasn’t sure why. Amethyst needed to hear that suffering was worth it… that it lead to something warm and pleasant like the warmth of a fathers embrace in the candle light of some drowsy library. He had to know it was worth it.

“I would do it all again.”

For some reason the conviction in Yami’s words only made Amethyst’s chest hurt worse. It almost felt like he was learning the truth after believing in something false his entire life. Amethyst didn’t know why, but he felt the lies had been in his former life—the one that always haunted him in his dreams.

[Ramirez]

<sub>A/N:This is 4/81 bonds completed for a project I am doing.

Yami is a well-developed character for me, so I started out with him as the main focus, but gently guided the point of view to Amethyst who is relatively a new addition to the large family.

Amethyst was an angel. He was the first angel the goddesses created but he became extremely arrogant and questioned why he had to be associated with suffering since he was so sure that he was too good to be around it. This is why he is so upset and revolted by suffering, but when his father explains to him how it's necessary, he wants to reject the necessity of it, but he also is starting to understand it.

Amethyst is not suddenly enlightened, he still has lots of work to do for himself so he can grow.</sub>



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