Become a member of Elftown
What is Elftown?

Page name: bash [Exported view] [RSS]

2005-04-18 19:48:46

Last author: Kayne
Owner: Kayne

# of watchers: 7

Fans: 0

D20: 18

Wiki-page rating	Stumble!
Informative:	0
Artistic:	0
Funny-rating:	0
Friendly:	0

www.bash.org

Warning:
This will be a very very very very very long wiki. Feel free, not to read it.

Back to [Kayne]

<img:stuff/C%3ADocuments%20and%20Settingsdavid%20and%20heatherMy%20Documentssukemordi-divbio.jpg>

<img:stuff/C%3ADocuments%20and%20Settingsdavid%20and%20heatherMy%20Documentssukemordi-divbio.jpg>

1. Making an idiot out of him/her self.

#99060 +(13267)- [X]

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

2. A smart American.

#4753 +(7944)- [X]

<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

3. Busted!

#258908 +(6241)- [X]

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

4. Girls bring trouble

#405221 +(6006)- [X]

<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

5. Mother-in-law

#125283 +(5713)- [X]

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

6. Women...

#8814 +(5413)- [X]

<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

7. This must be the funniest ever

#24 +(5277)- [X]

<ckx> women ask for it
<ckx> they act all old and mature
<ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
<ckx> and they get all bitchy
<ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

8. And so the word: "Assvibrator store" was invented.

#1578 +(4642)- [X]

<calin> we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator
<ecoli> ew.
<ecoli> wait, you "caught" him?
<ecoli> like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
<Aero> he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

9. Women...

#77904 +(4592)- [X]

<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

10. Is he serious?

#6460 +(4446)- [X]

<studdud> what the fuck is wtf

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

11. How the myth of listeningmen started.

#365072 +(4300)- [X]

<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Thank you for listening to me.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> You know your a really good listener.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Sweety please say something.
<Sandaedar> Ok I'm back.

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

12. Sperm.

#50891 +(4125)- [X]

<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

13. ^_^

#409 +(4086)- [X]

<DaZE> at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

14. Idiot.

#139697 +(4048)- [X]

<frank> can you help me install GTA3?

<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

15. n00b

#14207 +(4046)- [X]

<h|tler> HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

16. Highly disturbing.

#88575 +(4036)- [X]

<Stormrider> I should bomb something
<Stormrider> ...and it's off the cuff remarks like that that are the reason I don't log chats
<Stormrider> Just in case the FBI ever needs anything on me
<Elzie_Ann> I'm sure they can just get it from someone who DOES log chats.
*** FBI has joined #gamecubecafe
<FBI> We saw it anyway.
*** FBI has quit IRC (Quit: )

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

17. Logic.

#329292 +(3959)- [X]

<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty> ...
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

18. the irony!

#180081 +(3928)- [X]

<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<kylev> hahahahaha
<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor
<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about
<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

19. Potatoes are romantix!!!

#151227 +(3890)- [X]

IronChef Foicite: well, there's a lot of reasons
IronChef Foicite: i mean, roses only last like a couple weeks
IronChef Foicite: and that's if you leave them in water
IronChef Foicite: and they really only exist to be pretty
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying

IronChef Foicite: "my love for you is transitory and based solely on your appearance"
IronChef Foicite: but a potato!
IronChef Foicite: potatos last for fucking ever, man
IronChef Foicite: in fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow shit even if you just leave them in the sack
IronChef Foicite: that part alone makes it a good symbol
IronChef Foicite: but there's more!
IronChef Foicite: there are so many ways to enjoy a potato! you can even make a battery with it!
IronChef Foicite: and that's like saying "i have many ways in which I show my love for you"
IronChef Foicite: and potatos may be ugly, but they're still awesome
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying "it doesn't matter at all what you look like, I'll still love you"

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

20. Blowjobs...

#424487 +(3587)- [X]

JstWnnaHveFuN08: do you think i should call a guy friend and talk to him about my problems? or will he not care?
Thilo: Here's how it works: if a guy helps you with your problems, you're obligated to give him a blowjob.
JstWnnaHveFuN08: lol thanks that cheered me up
Thilo: No problem. That'll be one blowjob please.

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Justice!

#217453 +(3458)- [X]

<@Chin^> My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert
<@Chin^> just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating
<@Chin^> So she calls me a pervert again?!?
<@Chin^> there is no justice in the world...

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Hackers.

#202477 +(3458)- [X]

(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Idiot!

#4680 +(3437)- [X]

<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Pacman!

#348498 +(3428)- [X]

<MasterG> .....................................................................
..................................
<judas> where's pacman when you need him?

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Find the bigger idiot.
#376790 +(3412)- [X]

Mike3285: wtf is a palindrome
MaroonSand: no its not dude

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

A long, but good one.

#416857 +(3406)- [X]

<born1986> why the fuck isn't my disc drive working
<born1986> i fucking worked on that essay for three friggin' hours in school
<born1986> i now i cant finish it 'cos my fuckin drive ain't working
<Z00ass> you got the right drivers?
<born1986> hell yes
<born1986> it was working fine yesterday
<born1986> why does this shit always happen to me?
<Z00ass> maybe that little clip on the side is i nthe wrong position
<born1986> i havent touched it since school
<born1986> i'm growing impatient
<born1986> ANGRY even
<Z00ass> throw that shit out tha window

. . .

<born1986> OMG i fuckin did it!!!
<born1986> FUCK!!!!!
<Z00ass> it works?
<born1986> no, i threw it out the window
<Z00ass> the disk?
<born1986> NO the whole drive
<born1986> i live on the 6th floor, made a nice *smash*
<Z00ass> :D
<born1986> FUCK SHIT FUCK
<born1986> THE DISK WAS STILL INSIDE
<born1986> brb

. . .

<born1986> shit
<Z00ass> what? did ya break it?
<born1986> well i couldn't open the drive
<born1986> so i had to pound it against a rock
<Z00ass> :o
<born1986> quite HARD
<born1986> and you know what?
<born1986> that fucking disk wasnt even there
<Z00ass> ???
<born1986> i got so mad i threw the remaiders of the drive on to the freeway
<born1986> and when i got back upstairs i foud the disk inside my bag
<Z00ass> lol
<born1986> I NEVER EVEN PUT IT IN THE DRIVE
<born1986> i'm actually cryin right now

. . .

<born1986> wonder if i could make that drive work again
<born1986> brb

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Goodparenting.

#151861 +(3396)- [X]

-[Conroy_Bumpus]- OH FUCK ME
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- I FORGOT TO PICK UP MY 7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FROM SOCCER PRACTICE
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- 9 HOURS AGO
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- HOLY SHIT
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- BYE

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Perverts.

#10942 +(324)- [X]

<Sparky^> fucking perverts on Direcct Connect
<Sparky^> downloading all my porn

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Buts.

#162475 +(93)- [X]

<kurai> lol this is the best warning ever looklook:
<kurai> This is your brain -> O
<kurai> This is your brain on drugs -> o
<kurai> This is your butthole -> o
<kurai> This is your butthole in prison -> O

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

The first one I actually laughed out loud, and pretty hard.

#485128 +(848)- [X]

XCodymauX: I've been killing pimps all day and still don't have enough money for that sword of light.
l33t 1nt3gr4l: the hell are you playing, GTA: Middle Earth?

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Héhé.

#47059 +(168)- [X]

<dysfunctional-24> only idiot use computers
<neotek> i hardly like to point out the obvious irony, but...

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Hilarious.

#76569 +(129)- [X]

* Les16F is now known as guywants3some

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Nice.

#479067 +(2308)- [X]

Scud: The other day, in the park, I was wondering why frisbees look bigger and bigger as they get closer to you
Scud: And then it hit me

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Religion.

#34174 +(116)- [X]

<latyrx> a christian friend called me tonight, but im ok now

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Spelling.

#368808 +(4044)- [X]

<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Asianporn.

#465551 +(658)- [X]

<LazyWulfran> i've watched enough asian porn to discern that when 2 asian people have sex, semen goes everywhere except where it needs to go for conception. therefore, they must have an alternate method of reproduction

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Romance!

#3756 +(136)- [X]

<Ad0> I met my gf (which is here as we speak) over IRC
<Wyatt> Ad0: Are you both IRCing side-by-side?
<Ad0> almost
<Ad0> she is in the kitchen with the laptop

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Offcourse it is.

#23917 +(50)- [X]

<Aus> see, when too many people do something
<Aus> it's just lame
<TK-Work> It could have just been lame to begin with.
<Aus> TK-Work: nah, everything is cool at least once.
<xpander|out> Aus: does that mean child molestation was good the first time?

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Omfg, this one is fucking good.

#164094 +(1415)- [X]

<Jaayy> I like my coffee the way I like my niggers.
<Naive-EOC> Dead?
<Derid-EOC> In the Field?
<Ball-licker> In jail?
<Humur> Killing each other?
<Naive-EOC> Stealing?
<Sailym> Covered in blood?
<Humur> 5$ a piece?
<Derid-EOC> Stupid?
<Jaayy> ...
<Jaayy> BLACK YOU FUCKING RACIST BASTARDS! I LIKE MY COFFEE BLACK!

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Losers.

#139476 +(625)- [X]

<elitotaco> ok
<elitotaco> ive got to go finish cleaning my room
<elitotaco> or else i cant go camping
<-- elitotaco has quit ()
<asshat> OMG what a loser
<asshat> gtg moms calling

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Awesome!

#141 +(872)- [X]

<ILLogik> i was having cybersex with this chick but she wouldn't go all the way so i had to rape her

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Stalkers.

#7250 +(158)- [X]

<yunicus> god has so many stalkers

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Loser.

#16923 +(111)- [X]

<MrPuppy> like 3 hours ago
<MrPuppy> i was wankin to porn and i just got up
<MrPuppy> my door was open and my parents have been walkin around
<MrPuppy> they prolly saw me
<MrPuppy> i heard them laughing

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Idiot

#56044 +(611)- [X]

DasKrav: Know what I hate?
DasKrav: Repeating myself.
Destroy_Boy2000: What?
DasKrav: I said I hate repeating myself
Destroy_Boy2000: Huh?
DasKrav: I SAID I HATE-
DasKrav: Oh wait
DasKrav: YOU FUCKING QUEEF

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Name!

#176783 +(672)- [X]

<King_Kane> So i open a can of pepsi max and i see on the side "Best Before: See base of can" so i turn the can around and i feel a cold chill running down my legs...

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

School.

#14526 +(526)- [X]

<oneo|SUMMER> the US has some of the best schools in the nation

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Store-faces

#38230 +(423)- [X]

«TiGryphon» ...but there's nothing quite as priceless as the look on a teenage cashier's face as she rings up wine, cheese, bread, and chats aimiably with you, and then rings up a cucumber, and a box of condoms and gets suddenly quiet...

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Embarrising.

#45768 +(206)- [X]

<Joe> man, be careful... two minutes of pleasure for twenty years of pain
<DaShmoo> You only lasted two minutes? You loser.
<Joe> fuck you

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Trying to make a convo.

#99835 +(7960)- [X]

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Sizes.

#36792 +(72)- [X]

<UmbraSG> Second, you are jealous of my 2" penis?
<Ibuki> wtf
<Ibuki> 2 inches is not a penis
<Ibuki> it's a large clit

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Big Mistake.

#98665 +(531)- [X]

<CommanderStab> I remember once this girl was stalking me
<CommanderStab> Some french girl named Olivia
<CommanderStab> And whenever I went online there she was on ICQ or MSN or whatever going "RARGH HELLO ^_^_^_^__^_^" and like being ultra-friendly and like doing nothing but complimenting me on whatever the hell she'd come up with for that day
<CommanderStab> And I was like, whatever but I'll put up with it, praise can be hard to come by
<CommanderStab> And then finally she said she was gonna send me a picture and I was like, YES! My patience has payed off =D
<CommanderStab> And I got the picture and I was like WTF?! This is a guy!!
<CommanderStab> How could I have gone 4 months and NOT realised that the guy's nick was "Oliver", not "Olivia" I'll never know >__<

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Nerd

#105834 +(93)- [X]

<Prozax> 9 cats? you must be really ugly

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Assurance.

#31511 +(106)- [X]

Frosterfree: I will tell you what my hell is, you guys probably don't read enough to know what ADD is do you
Frosterfree: Attention Defecit Disorder
Frosterfree: it's a learning disability
Frosterfree: discovered extensivly in 1980
Frosterfree: a year before I was born
Frosterfree: I have had to fight that my entire fuck'n life
Frosterfree: my kids will have to fight it for their entire lives
CatGonk: You won't have kids. Trust me on this.

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

Arguement.

#71162 +(343)- [X]

<pHluid> GF the other day said something about me not washing my hands after I take a piss
<pHluid> "First of all, I don't piss on my hands. Secondly, you put the damn thing IN YOUR MOUTH, I think I'll be allright to touch it every now and then."
<pHluid> That shut her up.

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

You and me.

#73169 +(341)- [X]

<D-BOY> MK, you shouldn't assume so much
<chockoman> YEAH
<chockoman> YOU KNOW WHAT ASSUMING DOES
<chockoman> IT MAKES AN ASS OUT OF YOU
<chockoman> AND SOME GUY NAMED MING

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v374/AbsinthMinded/koocob.bmp>

2005-04-12 [Kayne]: Feel free to add, if you find any funny ones.

2005-04-12 [iippo]: *doesn't get anti-rap*

2005-04-12 [Sagacious Turkey]: some of these are disturbing...

2005-04-16 [Kayne]: Could someone please number them? *Looks really cute.*

2005-04-16 [iippo]: Will, if you linkette me and I'll come to it in a bit.

2005-04-24 [Kayne]: *Linkage.*

2005-12-30 [Feasting on Needles]: I love bash. XD

2006-07-04 [Thε ßαd Turkεy]: http://www.bash.org/?5300, http://www.bash.org/?5775, http://www.bash.org/?111338, http://www.bash.org/?261501, http://www.bash.org/?2999, http://www.bash.org/?75154, and http://www.bash.org/?104383 are my favorites...

2006-07-29 [iippo]: Whoa, the images in this page were in Photobucket and are now fuct.

Show these comments on your site