original: ManDogFable
[Linderel]: I fixed one instance where "Dog" was written "dog" (I'm presuming that the former should happen everywhere in this text). You use words like "subtilest" and structures like "then came the news", so would it perhaps be better to leave off the verb contractions? Then again (and this came to mind at something like one or two in the morning when I was already in bed) the mixing of "high" and "low" styles is a pretty good move. Not like this doesn't show in the rest of the text - "square in the face" is a rather colloquial construct, methinks. "wagged his tail one time" bugs me somehow. Would this perchance read better as "once"? Also, it bothers me that the Mouse only gets "small" as its descriptor. That's not really on par with the others. Furthermore, Mouse is not mentioned once after that first paragraph. Would it be better to drop the squeaky one entirely? "the Cat was sure that the Dog had surely met his end" <- this here makes the repetition-hating part of me twitch. Perhaps "the Cat was certain" if you definitely must have both of the words there. Don't remove "surely", it's a nice word. If you end up removing "sure", maybe go for something like "the Cat thought that" - or, if you want to play on the I-know-everything attitude and pride of Cat, you could go so far as to say "the Cat knew". No suggestions for the title, sorry - I'm crap at titles.
You've made some changes to the text, but I think that for the most part they've helped with the flow. :)

I think that's as far as my helpfulness goes. No problems whatsoever with grammar, hooray!


The Dog and Man

In the beginning when all animals were created, they lived together in the Garden: The Wolf, the Fox, the Bear, the Hare, the Mouse, the Cat and the Dog, as well as all the fowl in the air and all the fish in the waters. The Wolf was the bravest, the Fox was the smartest, the Bear was the strongest, the Hare was the quickest, the Mouse was the smallest, the Cat was the proudest and the Dog was the gentlest.

On the sixth day the animals heard the news: a new creature had been created, Man. They heard that Man was braver than the Wolf, smarter than the Fox, stronger than the Bear, quicker than the Hare, prouder than the Cat and gentler than the Dog. And they heard that this new creature Man was to be given dominion over all the earth, and to rule over all the animals.

The animals didn't know how to take this news, so they kept their distance from the Man. But the Cat and the Dog were more curious than the other animals and wanted to see him, so they went looking for him. They searched around all the land to find Man and they saw that he had touched the land and changed it. But they couldn't find him. They went to the sea and around all the shores to find Man and they saw that he had sailed the sea and fished the fish. But they couldn't find him. They went to the forests and the flowering fields and they found that Man had been there and eaten of the fruits of the trees and smelled the flowers of the land. But they couldn't find him. They went to the highest mountain they could find and looked up at the stars and the Moon and they discovered that Man had been there and named all the stars and the days and the seasons – but he wasn't there.

So the Dog and the Cat went back to the Garden to tell the other animals about the things they had seen and heard of Man – and on the way there, they saw him. He was sleeping in the Garden, and Woman was asleep next to him. The Cat and the Dog looked at him in awe and wonder.

"I can't believe he is as brave as the Wolf, as smart as the Fox, as strong as the Bear, or as quick as the Hare! Look at him! He's like a monkey with no hair!" the Cat sneered, circling quietly around the sleeping pair. But the Dog was quiet. Man reminded the Dog of something he had seen before, but he couldn't quite remember what or where. The Man stirred from his sleep and the Cat ran away, but turned back to look from a small distance. The Man saw the Dog, bared his teeth and stretched forth his hand, and the Cat was sure that the Dog had surely met his end.

The Dog sat quietly as the Man laid his hand upon him and petted his fur, and the Dog felt something inside him change. He looked at Man, looked him right in the eye, and decided to do it. He stood up to get close and he licked Man square in the face. Both Man and Woman laughed, and the Dog wagged his tail in delight; their laughter was the most wonderful sound he had ever heard. From that moment on the Dog was never far from Man.

Then came the news to all the animals that the Man had transgressed and was driven out of the Garden. They heard that the Snake, which was the subtilest, had suggested to Woman who then in turn suggested to Man to eat the fruit they were not allowed to eat. And as a result of this, the animals were all introduced to a new creature: Death. He was the blackest, and even the Wolf feared him. From there and then on, he was everywhere.

The animals stood in a line and watched as Man and Woman left the Garden and went into the dark and dreary world, dressed in coats of skins. And they saw Death hover about Man. The Dog looked at Man, then his fellow animals, then back to Man. The Dog got up and ran after Man into the dark and dreary world. He caught up with Man and Woman, licked Man's hand and wagged his tail one time. Man smiled, petted the Dog's head and the three of them walked on.

* * *

Since then all the animals of the forest have been afraid of Man and they are even to this day, for Death still hovers about the children of Man. But the Dog has continued to be Man's best friend above all other animals, for he loved Man from the first time Man petted him.