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.Messages //.1201-1300.//.

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Dear God,

1201. I Love You. Please Help Everyone On This Page With Their Problems. Please bless each and every person that needs your help. please help those who seek you. Lord, You are amazing and i will never ever stop loving you.
1202. For the sake of proving something to myself, I have changed this entry.
1203. I give up, God. I'm going to give you your chance to prove yourself. I'm going to tell you what you can do to prove to me that you exist. To prove to me that you do have some kind of plan that includes justice for those that deserve it. Help her. Help keep her safe. I don't care what you want with me or what you do in regard to my life, but help her. I can't protect her as I am. I can't hold her and make her safe.  I can't tell her dad to stuff a fucking sock in it and stop and think about who his daughter is! So, God, I ask that you protect her. If you can show me that she is getting the treatment and the life that she deserves, then...I guess I can accept you. ~[Faulty Limerence]
1204. Please help my brother. He is getting out of control. Its scaring me. I don't want him to start hitting again...He was never big on it, but he'd still have his moments. And he's treating his and my Mother like crap. It makes me cry. He doesn't know what he's doing to us. He needs to grow up. He need's your guidence again. Please help me find a way to help him, because if he continues down this path...it won't be pretty. I love you. And thanks for everything you've blessed me with. <3
1205. He's a nice kid God. He's smart, he's funny, he's good looking, he does know right from wrong, he just chooses not to use that. Help him realise what he's doing will get him no where. That I'm losing respect for him for everything he's done and is going to do. Please.
1206. So...I like him alot....I think...Please let us be together...But I heard that he got in trouble for doing cocaine...Help him stop.
1207. dear superior power, or whatever/whoever is out there,
One of my thoughts went missing somewhere down the line. Are you disappointed in me for thursday? it was scary as the night went on, but i can see myself doing it again. all of these thoughts ive been having lately, ive been taught to think you would not approve. thinking it might all be in my head im sure wouldnt go down well in your book, but i may underestimate will power i suppose. its great i have a place to write it all down, please keep everyone i know out of harms way and let everyone travel in saftey this christmas season and next year. Let everyone return to ics in january safe, well and happy.
thankyou
xxxxxxxxx
1208. Im doing the right thing...
1209. In these moments of lies I wish to be truthful. You have made such a difference in my life and without you I would probably still be cutting my wrists or something.I understand that I have made many mistakes in my past and that by accepting you as my savior all those things are erased. That moment where I gave my heart to you was all I needed but now there is such a hunger for you my beloved God. I can't seem to get enough of you. I love hearing people talking about what you have done in there lives and I am hoping that one day you will give me the chance to experience such euphoria. I want to grow stronger as a Christian and I want to be your loyal slave. It is so hard right now though. I should make time for you but I am so tempted to do other things. There is school, work, and a million other people to please. I really just want to serve you but I don't seem to have the will power to do so. Please God give me the strength to serve you the way you deserve. Have mercy upon my human soul and fill my heart with your never ending love. I know that I am selfish which is why I ask you to allow me to be your servent but I also want the hearts of all those that aren't saved to open there eyes and witness the true power that you possess. There are so many people that are lost and I don't wish for them to not understand what is really out there. I especially want Aaron from work to actually understand that your presence is necessary for an eternal life. I do want one major thing though. I wonderful servant of yours to marry. Joshua from church is amazing but the chances of anything happening is basically non existant. Today sure, we had a slight hug thing but that is after a very long time of knowing him. Whatever your will is I shall go along with. Do with me what you need.
Thank you Lord.
1210. Please, God, help me make the right decision. Please help me get out of the situation I'm in. Help me stop lieing. Help me figure out who's better for me. Help me be a better friend to the few true friends I have. Help me be a better lover and to fight for my rights. Help me stand up for myself when no one else will. God, give me the strength to make the right decision, when I've figured out what it is. And, God, prove yourself every now and then, if I don't know you're there, I'll lose faith again. I don't want that. Not now.
1211. I am soo sorry. I made a huge mistake this time. And I definatly learned my lesson. No more popping pills. I gag everytime I hear that word...I hate pills. I am so sorry I let you down. We both know im better and smarter then what Im acting. Im ready to make this change for myself, for real this time. I love you, and thanks for always being here for me, even when I try to run from you. -[You deserve each tear that falls.]
1212. Isn't It Weird I Just Read Over 1000 Peoples Messages To God Yet The Only Thing I Could Think Of Was Their Spelling And Punctuation.
1213. I hate burning my bridges. Help me stop.
1214. I lost, and broke. I keep making these horrible choices. Im becoming the heart breaker, the player. And thats not who I want to be. Please give me the strength to become stronger and to have better control over my actions. I love you.
1215. He's a little bitch. Smite him.
1216. I remember a time where you gave me self esteem and confidence, what happened?
1217. Please don't let me mess up again. He's living right down the road. Please help me stay strong and keep away from temptation. I love you.
1218. What will you do to those who have hurt others in your name?
1219. This is the first time I have wrote here. Why is she always acting like we are shit friends? She is the one that sits and feels sorry for herself, and she expects us to come running to her.
1219. I don't like who I am, on the inside and out. Please...help me.... I can't take it anymore.
1220. I like him. He likes me. Dont let me mess up, please. I love you.
1221. God, Please help me with my grades. please give me strength to go to school and face my teachers. please help me lord. i can't mess this up.
1222. I really can't go on like this. I still can't believe that I have lost him forever. Everytime I think about him, it feels like he still likes me, but then I remember, and that's what hurts the most. I can't stop crying. I hate my paranoia. I hate myself. I don't want to even live.
1223. What do I do? What am I supposed to say?
1224. Please. Let him realize money isnt everything. Thank you.
1225. Let me meet someone new.. I don't like the shallow people I know.
1226. why has he gotta be 6 years older? It dont matter. does it? But why has he gotta be HER brother? I hate her so much. Well, no, I hate the way she treats everyone. I wish she'd tell him.. or let me talk to him.. it's not fair.
1227. Im scared.
1228. Please let me and my friend do something fun tomorrow together. I haven't done anything fun in a while :/ And I miss him :(
1229. I prayed for you over and over again, but you never replied, and you did nothing.. I did everything I could, and it still happened, it all happened in a few seconds. I should have drived, instead of him. I think I finally am seeing things clearly though, you don't answer because you have forsaken me, so tonight I will end my life, after telling you this.. Im sorry I didn't drive, I didn't know this was going to happen, I just hope one day you will forgive me. Good bye.
1230. I secretly liked her, is that a bad thing to do?
1231. I'm going down the wrong path, God. I've gained all sorts of personal habits in the last few days, I know I'm the only one to blame but I can't help but think he had something to do with it. I don't know if I'm happy with any of this or not...
1232. Dear God,
Thank you so much for him ♥. I cannot express how grateful I am that I have him, hes unbelieveable and I can't believe I found him. He makes me feel special in so many way. Please look after him! =] & Please don't take this away, I've finally come alive.
1233. I'm always unhappy. I always want to cry. I can't get any peace to myself in this house. I can't express my feelings without getting made fun of by someone in this house. I don't think I'm supposed to be here. I don't want to exist anymore. Nothing goes right. Ever.
1234. I listened last night, and... I have to say that it was the last thing I ever expected to hear him say. Not as in that I don't believe it, or that it would happen, it just seemed...
I recognized almost every word. I can't tell if I was more sad or angry - Sad that I wasn't there now, angry that I wasn't there then...
Please take better care of him, God. Even if I'm the only one who cares, I care alot, and I want him to be safe.
1235. I wasn't supposed to fall for Ryan. He was supposed to be something to keep me busy until Kenneth moved back, but I did and I fell hard. And now Ken's back and I dont know what to do. I broke up with Ryan but he's still fighting for me -- I never realised he actually loves me like he said he did until now. And now, I don't know what to do. I do love Ken but Ryan... *sighs* God, please help me make the right decision. I don't want to wonder what could've been, or what should've been. Help. Please.
1236. oh god, was this meant to happen?Why does he like her so much? She wants nothing to do with him. I dont want him to be hurt. But I want him to like me back, because he is the only decent one in this fucking school. hes so fucking intense and perfect. Help me. please. xxx
1237. Maybe we were weren't made for eachother...
1238. Maybe I made the wrong choice. I put all my trust into one person and now I'm learning that all that comes out of his mouth is lies. I'm finding these lies in all different sorts of ways, and I have no idea what to do. I love him, but does he really love me? Will I ever beable to trust him like I would need to?
1239. Please make this real, and please make this last He means the whole world to me.
1240. Please help me find the answers. You know that this goes against everything I've learned. I've been doing the easy thing for so long, I hardly even recognize these emotions. It's frightening, unsettling, and much more conflictive that what I'm used to living. Is this how I'm supposed to be? Is this going to help me heal as a person? It feels like having to re-set the bone before it will heal right. It hurts. I don't know if I like it, but I'm doing it anyway, and I don't know if that's the right choice. Is he going to get sick of this? I know that he says he wont, but I guess he's right when he says "You never believe me"...
1241. If I'll ever meet You in the afterlife, don't be mad because I've said I don't believe in You. I'm only a human being, and I say a lot of things without a reason. I didn't mean it. But I guess, since You're all knowing, You already knew. Besides, if you made us to Your image and You want us all to believe in You, why did You create doubt? After all, everything is Your creation, right? So maybe our doubt reflects Your uncertainty of Your own existing? You, God, make no sense sometimes. At all.
1242. I need your help. I feel very....lost? I think that's a good word for it. I don't know what to do. Whether it be about him or the one I want to be with. Or be about friends, or school or my decisions I have to make about my futur. Things just don't feel right at all but I don't know where to start when it comes to having to fix them. I hate it. Help. Please.
1243. I'm scared God. Hes made my life worth somthing.. Hes made me feel things and realise things, and hes made me love like I've never loved anyone. I know that I have him now, but what about when I don't have him? A guy like him won't stay with a girl like me for long.. And then what will I do? I hate to admit that I'm weak.. but to a certain extent, I am weak. What if I reach the point where I really just can't take it without him? A point where I revolove my life around him, and depend on him and him alone? I've already lost so much last year, and it seems so unreal that hes came along to pick me up. Almost too good to be true.. I just don't want it to be snatched away from me after I build it up. I'm scared that this.. is just a lesson you're teaching me..To love, but never too much.
1244. Lord, I met this really cool kid. He thinks I'm really cute, and I think the same about him. But we live too far away. Please tell me what I should do.
1245. Hopefully im doing this all for the right reason. Keep the smile, fake it if I have to. Save the drama, less is better. Go to church..work on our relationship, and dont let people get to me. Its better this way, right?
1246. Smite them, or Jen at least. If she cheats on Andy please, make her suffer.
1247. Your amazing. I love you.
1248. You really went all out when you made him didn't you?
He is unbelieveable. Thank you so much for him. Keep him safe please. x I love you.
1249. Please make it work. I am dying for it.
1250. That hit me hard. Why did that song have to come on now? Now of all times? Just to remind me of all that happened? Hes been gone a year next month, and I haven't heard that song since then.. I didn't plan on hearing it for the rest of my life. The notes and the angry, strong words hit me over and over again. And all I could feel was the cold in my stomach and the shaking in my hands. Why did you take him? I still don't understand why you did it, and why you reminded me of him.. I miss him so much. It didn't hit me until Christmas and New Year how empty everyone, and everything was without him. He had such an energy. How can all of that energy, and liveliness be gone? And once again, I'm mad at you.
1251. I'm sorry.
1252. Thank you so much God for the life you've given me. Despite all those years of hatred, of pain and crying myself to sleep, despite all the curses I've thrown at you and all the times I still forget about you, despite everying in my past and everything I do now, you still love me. Thank you for being faithful. Thank you for showing me the truth and showing me that my past happened for a reason. Thank you for your Son, who was the ultimate sacrafice for me, so that I could go free while he took on my sin. Thank you for my past, because I can show love to people that otherwise might not be loved. I understand them, because I was one of them. Thank you for protecting me and bringing me to maturity. Help me to be humble and not angry or self-righteous, so that I can show others the love that you've shown me. [Steel Mal'ak]
1253. Promise me I can have him back. Promise Me.
1254. I don't even know why I am still alive. I have nothing to live for.
1255. We would not want to sound ungrateful, but do You not think it is about time You open a window? Thank You.
1256. I have a feeling this is dangerous. But its everything I've ever wanted.. Please help me make the right choices.
1257. Please don't take her away from me.. Shes my only friend, my BEST friend. I can't get through it without her, please let her know how much she means to me.
1258. Im not enough.
1259. Im being used.
1260. Thanks for keeping me strong. I slipped up once, and im sorry. But when I had that drink in my hand, and I chose NOT to drink it, I knew that you helped me. Thanks.
1261. Keep him safe God. Bring him sweet dreams and a peaceful mind. Let him know I love him, and that I'll never leave him.
1262. Why did you let me live? It was MY TIME! But Im thankful you kept me.
1263. Lord, I had a dream around a couple days ago, and it made me think about tonight. The dream was about me meeting a boy at a concert. A very special one. I'm going to be going to a concert tonight. Please tell me. Was my dream really telling me something?
1264. I have a Geography prelim tomorrow. It's my favourite sunbject, yet I'm the worst in the class: I always scrape the pass mark in unit tests. Please help me pass this prelim, I really need it to appeal if I fail the final exam. I just want to be good at something for a change.
1265. Tankyou for everything you have done recently for me. Im pretty happy. Please just help me to feel better about myself and help me find and get someone who I am really happy to be with relationship-wise. Thankyou for all of my friends. I love them all.
1266. Its killing me.
1267. Please...Give me some kind of sign...
1268. Thanks for giving me such incredible strengh I never knew I had.
1269. It's one of those days where I don't look both ways when crossing traffic and don't care. I hope it's wrong, but maybe he'd have been better off never meeting me. Espcially now...
And please, God, if you can, please keep me safe tomorrow. I can't express how scared I am. I really can't.
1270. Lord, let's hope that this time, my dream would be telling the truth to me.
1271. Oh, my God.. What am I doing..?
1272. THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUOHMYTHANKYOUU! X
1273. I just can't do this anymore...
1274. Missing him drives me insane.. i.do.not.like.it.
1275. Thanks for making things right. Thanks for that so so much. But uh....I just want to ask you one thing....please please please don't make it a repeat of november >.>
1276. Please take care of him.. I know I can't and I feel helpless, I miss him and wish I could be with him so much. Please make him better for me? Thank you. x
1277. I think I might love him.
1278. Tell my I'm making the right choice. Tell me my father's going to prision soon. Tell me I don't have to worry anymore. Tell me my boyfriend means well. Tell me my ex's life wont be hard and we'll still be friends. Tell me I'm ok. Tell me EVERYTHINGS going to be OKAY.
1279. God. i dont know why im telling you this.. no, i know exactly why im telling you this, because its all your fault. i have been fucked over, around, about, up, down, off, on, all just to feel WANTED. i have been through the shit YOU created, and i still kept my head high, and i still asked for your help. and you never answered a single prayer. Maybe the lightbringer will save me instead.
1280. I Miss You.
1281. I just want trust...
1282.I don't know what to do. I mean, which one? He pays attention to me, and god if he's not attractive, but I think I love someone else...
1283. Does anyone else ever get sick of not lying, but not telling the truth either?
1284. "Why are you here? Are you listening? Can you hear what I am saying?" Express my feelings on that topic pretty well. But that's not what I mean. I wanted to beg you to make me exempt. This is not the person I want, and I'm dying to be someone else. This is not what I wanted. Keep me safe, please... If I ever do anything like the things in my head, I will not want to live....
1285. Please God, makes these two weeks go really quick x
1286. He spoke to me on MSN, after 3 months of ignoring me. I started crying my eyes out, as he was acting as if nothing happened. He got what he wanted, why bother talking to me?
1287. Shes always been prettier. And she's always been funnier. And she's always been better the me. She always gets the guys...that we both like...and she doesnt think twice about it...she doesnt care...Its extremely hard having a Best Friend who's more incredible then me....
1288. Why can't you people make an effort to learn how to spell simple words like "than" and "then" correctly? For fuck's sake. Also, maybe I'm not really going to survive life...but I'm not going down without seeing her...I just won't.
1289. please help me, i dont know what i want. he keeps breakinng me but i miss him and i'm scared.
1290. please help me be happy with myself.
1291. God damnit! Yeah, you heard me. I know there's a future with her. I know it's there. I just keep getting my ass kicked trying to get to it. All of these problems would go away if I could just be there. Maybe replaced with a new set of problems...but at least it wouldn't be this problem. The same one that's ended almost every one of my relationships...
1292. God, what is this? Love, lust, friendship, or some new kind of self-destruction...?
1293. Okay, I know it's called temptation for a reason, and that it wouldn't be temptation if it weren't so hard to resist, but darnit, God, I'm trying so hard to be a good girl here, do you have to make it so freaking difficult?
1294. No strings attached sex...but...it feels like there are quite a few strings attached but...he won't admit it. I don't want to risk shit, God. I don't want to fall for him and than be tossed aside when he's done with me...what should I do?
1295. God, I know that mostly all I talk about is how I have issues with him flirting with girls and I get extremely jealous. But slowly and slowly, I am recovering. Lord, I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done. I couldn't possibly thank you enough. And I love you.
1296. My mom hates me for breaking up with my ex. She doesn't know what he did to me. Can you tell her for me?
1297. He's supposed to protect me. I started gagging last night when he brought that up, even unintentionally. Are you allowed to understand that? No. No no no. He's supposed to protect me. I wish he'd use me so I could take a step back and just hate myself. Objectifying myself makes it hurt less. Fuck this pain away.
1298. i want my world to fall down around me. let me fuck myself up. i'll go to hell gladly for just a taste of this.
1299. I believe.
1300. Please come home...



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.My Messages To God.
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