A tribute to nice girls

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2005-04-11 07:00:53

Last author: The real life Bella Swan
Owner: The real life Bella Swan

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A tribute to nice girls:

By:[thestranger]
See also: A tribute to nice guys
This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first bimbo in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don't understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congradulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)

2005-04-09 [manwe]: interesting... you wrote this one first, and the other one to balance it. something happened and this was a response. it's good, but you went from 3rd person to 1st person, 1/2 way through it..... still very interesting, mostly true and well wirtten.

2005-04-09 [Flight of the Butterfly]: wow, I almost cried when I read this. . .it's so sad, yet so true. . .

2005-04-10 [Cathos]: Why do I identify with this? Is it beacuse I'm nice, or tragic? *wibble*

2005-04-11 [nokaredes]: *hugs Cathos* // I don't really like that 'blonde girl in a skirt' remark. Not all blondes are easy, you know.

2005-04-11 [The real life Bella Swan]: I know she was just playing off the dumb blonde thing I guess. I could change it to bimbo in a skirt, yes, thats better.

2005-04-11 [nokaredes]: Much! Thank you...I swear, I think I'd rather be bald then blonde, because people hit on me twice as much than they hit on my black-haired best friend. >.< I kicked one, once...got tired of it, I guess. >.>

2005-04-11 [nokaredes]: *clarifies* I kicked a guy who was hitting on me AFTER I told him to go away, and that I wasn't interested.

2005-04-11 [The real life Bella Swan]: I figured as much *problem fixed* its now bimbo instead of blonde girl, better?

2005-04-11 [nokaredes]: Yes.

2005-04-14 [NoxX]: Oh man..I can't believe that...it's kinda scary...I felt like it was describing me..LOL and now I'm crying! *wipes face*

2005-04-14 [Cathos]: *hugs*

2005-05-15 [angrybuddhas.]: is it weird that I want everyone i've ever met to read this so they can get in my brain?!

2005-05-15 [The real life Bella Swan]: nope

2005-06-27 [PurpleUnderwear]: *stares teary eyed at computer* I LOVE THIS!!! its amazing its what i've always had in my head but never been able to say..now i wish he could read this:(

2005-08-04 [shadowfire09]: wow!

2006-05-18 [speakyourwords]: wow that's amazing.... i love it <3

2006-05-22 [Trayc]: this is so cool i hope that everybody reads this it is soo true *wipes away the single tear *

2006-05-23 [shadowfire09]: it's so sweet..it left me speechless...i mean, i'm a nice girl...i hope you don't mind..i copied it and emailed it to all my friends...(who loved it too)

2006-09-11 [Glimoni]: Just to say ... wow... its true. From a male perspective i see things a little clearer now. If you are a nice girl however... why wear the miniskirt and other stuff. Id like you whatever you were wearing. lol

2006-09-12 [~AzureSkyy.-]: Because, sometimes, it'd be fun to wear a miniskirt. Cloths dont make you the type of person people for some reason, associate them with. If you look good in it, or it's to your tastes, or any other reason between you and the cloth, then, wear the damn item of clothing. It's on how you wear it, how you move, inject your personality, and your perspective, as well, unfortunately, others' perspectives, that determines how it's seen. I'd love to see a nice girl in a miniskirt. If she looks good in it, or, better yet, feels good in it? Go for it. Compliment the poor lady, too. She's, obviously, with how people are reacting to the single, small phrase in here with "miniskirt" in it, risking a limb in wearing it. So, help her feel better about it. It'll show in her body language when she walks away. She'll shine, that much more.

2007-06-06 [Lanrete]: It's odd what happens to those nice girls after a while of being taken for granted and walked all over, too. A part of me is every bit the nice girl- I'm intelligent, I'm a virgin, I'm true to myself but at the same time so eager to please... And then there's a part of me that's way to cynical for that. My heart is locked away behind my brain, I have to actively open it up to get at an emotion. I've been hurt too many times, so that it takes a little work to get through to me and a lot more to keep me. Sometimes, I'm so scared of starting arguments that I dissect the situation with my girlfriends without saying a thing to the guy. I've finally learned that doing that only hurts me more, and I have to speak my mind no matter how hard it is. I've learned that you don't get very far if you're always afraid of offending people or getting hurt, so I try to shake the what-will-people-think impulse and live MY life. Next time you meet that girl, the one who's not really a bad-girl type but she's close, she's rough at the edges and she's got that wild light in her eyes, don't jump to conclusions. She might just be doing what she has to do to stay afloat, and she may well have a heart of gold. You don't have to be an angel to be a good girl.

2007-11-01 [Jiten]: This is... magnificent? That really doesn't apply but there's not a word that fully explains the magnitude of it.

2007-11-05 [Tyr and Zao Hawk]: I gotta say... *shakes head, smiling* It's wonderful. I'm not sure I can always vouch for it, but it's touching... it's nice. It's... amazing.
Reminds me of the tribute to nice guys, but I'm really not sure which of them came first.
If it's not too much of a problem, I'm going to spread the word. Because it's true... too many nice girls are overlooked. I happen to be friends with a number of them, and I'm sure they'd appreciate this.

As for the stuff about the guys who mistreat them, I (personally) think we should get baseball bats and try to knock some sense into them. Or at least scare them half to death -.- Sorry if I ruined the mood, I have my cruel streaks...

But, to sum it all up...

Bella...
"Beautiful"

2007-11-27 [ecir89]: Hey ya'll, Ima guy and I know that all of this is true, I would like to apologize for my genders big mistakes. All of them, I know lots of girls out there are really awesome! Us guys can be so discustingly dissapointing at times and for some, all the time. I just pray that I will never ever be like that. I would love to change someones life (for the better) and am still looking for this reason. I dont want to just take whatever girl wears the shortest skirt or the lowest cut shirt. (I think its kinda yuck when they do that..) Sooo, all I am saying is...Its all true and you put it beautifully.

2007-11-27 [Duke Devlin]: =) You are awesome! =)
I hate lowcut tops too DX They look nasty, and short skirts aren't too great either.
Not that I'm into girls anyway XD

2007-11-28 [ecir89]: i am awesome?? nah..i dont think so.. you arent into girls?? lol, i am not in any way more than just friends either

2007-11-28 [Duke Devlin]: I am a girl ;)
That explains the lack of interest in the female population ;)
More into male peoples =D
But yes, if you have the opinions you stated above, I think you are awesome ^^

2007-11-29 [ecir89]: Well, being a girl doesnt mean you automaticly have no intrest in your own gender. Not that I thought that or anything..I do have those opinions and beliefs. Still I guess I just think that its normal, nothing special. Maybe I was proven wrong?

2007-11-29 [Duke Devlin]: Hehe true ;) But yeh I don't =D
Proven wrong? Nah I think not =O

2007-11-30 [ecir89]: if you think i havent been proven wrong, then you agree with me that i truly am not awesome. but that is just geting confusing, i knew what you meant. thanks
you're a real help to me

2007-12-01 [Duke Devlin]: A real help? Wtf?
I am confused, to be honest I was confused by your last one XD
Just ignore me ;)

2007-12-01 [ecir89]: no, i wont ignore you.
you were a help to me, like me..inside

2007-12-01 [Duke Devlin]: I see =) Well then I am glad I could help you, with whatever it was =)

2007-12-01 [ecir89]: yes!

2007-12-01 [Duke Devlin]: =D

2007-12-05 [Ri'hala]: Goodness! This made me want to cry. And then punch my guy friend in the face. And he didn't even do anything! Poor guy friend, you are a victim of emotional channeling! Lol.

2007-12-05 [Duke Devlin]: Damn XD
It's very sweet isn't it? <3
Don't take it out on him XD HUg him instead <3

2007-12-06 [ecir89]: hugs are great, let me tell you...i love hugging...there are some people i could hug forEVER..

2007-12-06 [Duke Devlin]: Me tooo!!!

2007-12-06 [Ri'hala]: For real. Screw relationships. I want a cuddle buddy!

2007-12-07 [ecir89]: lol...idk if that is wise to say. but i am not going to argue with you. really not in the mood for it right now. kinda have enough stress right now. though sometimes i also wish that. not often though becuase i am kinda..no, i am really lonely. since i am eternally stubborn i am not going to just take anything though. sometimes its a curse, sometimes its a blessing, sometimes its a curse disquised as a blessing...

2007-12-07 [Duke Devlin]: I don't think I could deal with a relationship right now personally, my last one ended so badly in my eyes, and I couldn't deal with the possibility of that again. So I can understand why you say 'screw relationships'.

2007-12-07 [ecir89]: my parents having divorced many years ago and my utmost hate for my father makes me wish i was never born. i wish this because if they never met then i would never have been born. made my mom miserable when they were married and then she hasent been able to "hook up" with another guy for very long mostly cuz of me. what made me this way? my father...get where i am going? thought so, you are smart bunch. so yes, i can also see how one could say heartly; Fuck Them Dam Relationships!

2007-12-07 [Duke Devlin]: Well, your bad past, and bad recollection of relationships as far as I can tell would definitely warrant hate of them, but not all are like that. I promise.

2007-12-07 [ecir89]: thanks, i will try and keep that in mind. (my father is #1 on my list of who needs to die before i do) too bad he is in jail in a different state. hope there is a riot and he is killed...veeerry slooowly!

2007-12-07 [Duke Devlin]: XD Well, I'm sure you hope that =)

2007-12-07 [ecir89]: i so do...with a hatred to match the fury of armegeddon!

2007-12-07 [Duke Devlin]: I can understand why. It makes perfect sense.

2007-12-08 [ecir89]: good, its nice to hear someone side with me. ya know not too many people are all for wanting someone dead..

2007-12-08 [Duke Devlin]: Meh, I have many people that I would wish dead. I just have yet to find the means to be honest.
I was bullied, along with all of my friends, through school. And it was VICIOUS bullying, I don't just mean name calling. We had rocks thrown at us on a daily basis, and hit at us with tennis rackets, food thrown.. everything.. Yet nothing was ever done.
So yes. I want a few people gone too.

2007-12-08 [ecir89]: wee!! lets go on a killing spree!!

2007-12-08 [Duke Devlin]: Hehee yes, lets. =D

2007-12-09 [ecir89]: *BANG* and the world falls dead....At Our Feet!! Hahahahaha!!

2007-12-09 [Duke Devlin]: Bwahahahah XD

2008-12-27 [IzzyKSK]: I stumbled upon this wiki, and I agree.
I'll keep waiting, even if he never turns arround to see me. I guess it has something to do with being a girl.

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