All the human emotions even death

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2005-08-21 20:22:30

Last author: Ego Diligo Tu
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All The Human Emotions Even Death
The Page of My Poetry

Pain By:E.A.Allen
Look at this
Slits across my wrist
Isnt it a twist
To see me like this?
Images in my head
Make me wish now i was dead
Cant hold on anymore
Inside im all torn
Friends dont understand
Think that its a slight of hand
How could they know
That the pain begins to grow
Heart beating fast
No chance im going to last
Dont you remember my past
Psychatrists all said there was something i hide
The rules i never did bide
A little girl inside
But she never comes out
Shes just me when i scream and shout
Why do all you people doubt the words that come out of my mouth
But im still here
Never disapeared
Cant go away because i want to stay
Just sometimes i cant stand the pain
Like never ending rain
Beating inside my brain
Like metal agaisnt a wooden cane
Never ceasing to make me scream
It always shatters my dreams
Making my brain into cream
So this is the way the pain creeps up
Making me want the rain to stop
Beating my head with a metal cane
Horrible images begin there reign

Dont. By: E.A.Allen.
No one gets what I'm saying anymore
Seems like everything on anyones mind is war
Cant spare a glance for the pretty anymore
No more time for the homeless on your street
Cant even stop to greet the dying lover
Hiding from the rain
Seeking shelter
Trying to get away from all the pain
No one understands
That the bands I listen to arent for fun
Lyrics about shooting guns
Thats what I feel like inside
Deep down darkness i try and hide
But sometimes i cant help and cry
Sometimes i feel i need to die
Just lay down and let it all slide by
Let the world fly away
And never think about this another day
Dont weep for me
Dont keep this place for me
Deep down in your heart you say
Im there to forever stay
But what happens that fateful day
When I drift away
Dont do this anymore
Dont try and act torn
Over this 'horrible' act
Come on you knew the pact
One day when no one loved me
And you werent near
That i could slice right here
Over the vein and in real deep
Let the blood stain and seep
So dont say your sorry
Dont try and cry
Dont be me all over again the day you said goodbye

Scrub By: E.A.Allen
It dosent go away
I scrub untill my blood pours out
But its all in vain
Its still there
The pain
It wont leave me alone
I cant take this horrible tone
It mocks me
But no one else sees
Sees that this is really me
Standing in the shower
Scrubing away
Trying to erase all my pain
From the things that happen to me everyday
Remeber that little girl in the corner crying
Wishing she was dying
Well thats me but now ive seen
That crying dosen't fix it
Your tears dont wash it away
You have to try a difrent way
So now every day
I scrub my pain away

Diffrent Bay By: E.A.Allen
Gone
Drifted away
Maybe I'll see you another day
Like when little men wish the rain away
Sometimes I wish i could wash this pain away
Buts theres to much
The layers so thick, Just like muck
Seeping in going deep
Make me scream
Make me weak
Dont you see the way this is
Everything flowing out
No one sees what happens to me
The key they have yet to see
But the day shall come
And they will say
No what have you done
But its them
They did this
Never showed up
Said I'm sorry I was to busy
To busy
Thats all I here
Your always to busy for me
But its ok
I'm not here
I'm gone
I drifted away
On the ocean
To a diffrent bay

I am: By: E.A.Allen
I am the whisper in the wind
I am the beating of your heart
I am the mist left from the fog
I am the sun when it blows up
I am nothing and everything all at once
I am you when you feel like crying
I am me when your dieing
Sitting in that corner shaking
My heart full of aching
You sitting there staring
Not even caring
Caring that you did this
You slit open my wrists
Not me
I wouldnt do this sin
Because i am the whisper in the wind
That tells you to leave
I am the beating of your heart
Taunting you
I am the mist left from the fog
Confusing you
I am the sun when it blows up
Blinding you
I am nothing and everything all at once
Killing you.

Bad Dreams By: E.A.Allen
And when the people hear you cry at night
They dismiss it as a bad dream
And when they hear you sigh at night
They say shes just having a bad dream.
But my bad dream isnt going away.
It never does its here to stay.
My bad dream is your life and mine.
Its you sitting there killing me
With those words you utter devinly
Its you sitting there asking me why life and death exsit
Its why i cant hold on anymore.
Its the pain inside i feel
Its how much hate youve given me and no time to heal
The time in which it takes for you to relize that im dead.
The pain inside you thought was gone only it i hid.
Its me alone crying now becuase the world is sad.
Its me alone dieing now becuase ive been so bad
That my life is forskan deemed as sad
No one wanting to see what is really me
No one wants to see what you made me be
Because you all want to dismiss this
Tell the others oh shes having another bad dream
She always has those horribly bad dreams
Maybe she needs medicne
Yes more medicne
To get rid of those bad dreams
Those dreams
Those bad bad dreams
She says they never leave
That the dreams wont leave her be
Because the dreams eat her alive
Those bad bad dreams
That make her twist and scream
Look shes not having those dreams any more
Shes silent, Still
Not breathing
But bleading
No more screaming
But pleading
For no more bad dreams

Suicide Letter By: E.A.Allen
Heres my suicide letter I write to you
The ink just smeared black and blue
Blood is there; do you see it to?
Do you think this suicide letter is for you?
That this is your heart that's stopped beating
It's your muscles that are twitching
Your lungs stopped breathing
Your blood on the ground
Nothing else around?
This suicide letter is to all of you
Who thought the world couldn't get better
Your right, it can't.
This is to all those people who thought they didn't matter
Your right, you didn't.
This to all those people who thought they were losers
Your right, you are
This is my suicide letter to the world
Nothing can change for the better
Nothing can stay the same
But nothing can change for the worse
Things just change
They never say why or when
They just go
They dont give reasons or answers
And they never will
This is my suicide letter to you
The smeared ink my tribute to you
See the changes here and there
No explaination quite clear
So take my suicide letter dear
Take it from my dead hands and hold it near
No that I did nothing here
Because no one can do anything
Because it all changes to fast
So take my suicide letter
Watch the ink change stages with your tears
Sadness, anger, then despair
You can't belive I'm no longer there
So here have this letter with smeared ink
Take it and hold it till my body begans to stink
Dont bury or burn me
Let me stand out
I want to rot
Let the world see how I changed
Because this world
Is changing us all
So whenever you hear my silent call
Read my suicide letter written on my wall
In blood and smeared blue and black ink
Deep within it starts to sink
To forever stay in that fateful room
Where I killed my self on that sunny afternoon

Knight In shinning armor By: E.A.Allen
When it seems my world is upside down
You come in and turn it all around
Make me see im not really that far underground
That life is ok sometimes
Even though i really wanna cry
That its not ok to die
Even though sometimes i wish to try
But you hold me close and whisper in my ear
'Shh baby ill always hold you near'
That ill always be with you here
In your heart and youll hold me dear
Cherish me and treat me right
Never make me worry hold me tight
Your even in my dreams at night
You and I just want to be side by side
Untill the ocean's stop having regular tides
Your my knight in shinning armor
My dream come true
Only words cant explain how much i really love you

Doll By: E.A.Allen
Like a porcelin doll
Fragile and pretty
Painted on features
People say there real
But i can see
Behinde those glass eyes there's more
More to you
More to me
Just like a doll
No one cared to see
Locked away deep within
The key gone, hidden
But your just like me
And diffrent to
Make me see
A lil me in you
But not enough to curse you to
So hold on to your soul and life
Dont give up
Put up a fight
Dont let the men win
Keep the flame alive within

Unicorns And Leperchouns By: E.A.Allen
Yelling screaming
Fighting hating
Look your still beaming
While where all debating
Wheather or not its ok
To slit open your body
Soak in your own blood for a day
People tell you your shotty
Well maybe there Right
Maybe you should die
Because you cant even sleep at night
You sit and cry
Wondering why the world passes you by
Its because your not here
Your a figment
An imaginary creature
Like unicorns and leperchauns
Theres no gold here
No one to say look you near
The rainbow isnt here
Just old fat men drinking beer
So sit in your room and cry
Every night sit and think
About whether or not to die
To drown your self in the kitchen sink
Because no one sees you
Your imaginary too
Just like
Unicorns and leperchuns
No one thinks youve won
Because your imaginary
like unicorns and leperchouns

Human Animal Shelter By: E.A.Allen
Should I listen?
No
I dont want to know
To hear them seal my fate
There the feeling inside me
The boiling Hate
The people who keep screaming
"How Could She"
Although I'm right here smiling
Sitting here beaming
But there sealing me
Tileing up the walls
Making Me want to crawl
Far away to a distant land
Not be at there unbearble hand
To have them tell me
Who how when and why
For them to say dont cry
Even though we all know I'm soon to die
They Lead Me back there
Hands tied trying not to stare
The walls are covered in blood
Caked on think like sheets of mud
They sit me down
In a cold metal chair
Try and make me smile
Stroke my hair
Whisper Loving words
There all in denail
Then the blade is through me
Gun to my head
And I'm sitting here
Dead

IronicBy:E.A.Allen
You ask me why
And I just cant tell you
That this pain inside
Is all I can do
I Try and hide
Far away from you
But deep inside this is all i can do
Tear me up and slip on out
Watch the sky turn to a deep dark red
As blood pours out
And you realize im dead
You cant belive that you really did this
Once again you hurt me inside
Tore me up and made me cry
But this time It was to much
For me to handle
I cant take this pain and hate I have
You hurt me again and this is the end
I'm out of this world
And still in pain
Far away not wanting it to happen again
But who would have thought you cared?
Would say I hurt you
And made you cry
But I know that it is all a lie
But isnt it ironic?
That your so sweet to me
When at night its me that you seek
To hurt me inside
So isnt it ironic?
that I'm who you rape?
When you say to people you love me
What is the things at night all a mistake?
So I guess I'm Just Ironic
In your strange little world
To be your lover and still yet a whore

RapeBy: E.A.Allen
See me here
Crying deep inside I'm gone
You held me close
My world it spun
You kilt me from the inside out
Made me hate my self
Ran around and started to shout
nothing in my mind but doubt
That i could have stoped this
Made you leave me alone
Maybe slit you open bound your wrist
But I didnt I layed there and struggled
Screamed out in pain
Herd my shouts bounce off walls
Like drops of rain
No one even notices
When i disapear
That i came back
Broke down and in tears
No one cared you had hurt me
And made me feel abused
They all asked though if i gave you that bruise
Said i was whore a hooker and a slut
When really what you did
Made me anything but
It made you a bastard
And me a poor girl
But no one will ever know
That you raped me untill my whole body
soul
and mind was sore

Shadow Of a Mirage By: E.A.Allen
In my past I was a child
Care free and happy
But now my temperment is a little less mild
Not quite as glad a little more sappy
Tears of crimson red
Spill down and land at my feet
Somone please stop the terrible pounding in my head
This is horrible I give up I'm beat!
In the future I am an old woman
Britle and weak
Dnt wnat to care about my Domain
Tounges gone cant speak
Someone please cure my pain
Make the horible insanity cease
My life dripping away like a summers rain
Laying Naked on a couch
You can see me now
Clutching tightly to a small pouch
Keep asking how
THis is me
Dont you see?
What youve done has started killing me?
In the present I am gone
Non exsitent
Just a shadow of a mirage
You took my soul and said to bad
You ripped me up made me sad
Cant take this
Now Im just a shadow of a mirage
Blinking in and out of you

Pretty girlBy:E.A.Allen
AN example child
A perfect person
Temper so mild
No cussing no cursing
Must be aloud to be so perfect
Smile sweetly my little girl
No one needs to kknow your on a circut.
Shinned up pretty made to smile like a pearl
your such a perfect pretty girl
Hair as wavy as the sea
Eyes so brown there inticing to even me
Body perfect with all those curves
Makes every car swerve
But on the inside its diffrent
People call you pretty you just smile and blush
But on the inside your wishng theyd hush
You hate your self and know your ugly
Not cute and snuggly
Your dying inside
No one knows
They say your beauty it grows
The sadder you are the more tempting you get
What an odd conclusion my pretty girl

Yes By: E.A.Allen
Seems like shes ruining it all
Like she would rather me just be tacked up on a wall
Forgotten about and beaten on like an old tattered rag doll
Seems I'm not what she thought
That all I am good for is to be faught
On everything I could ever want
My dreams she haunts
Chasing you from me
Making tears spill down, Cant you see?
That she is ripping us apart
Tearing me open
Slicing my heart
Just me alone sitting here hoping
That shell soon make me stop mopping
By saying that single little word
The word I long to here
That would stop all these uneccisary tears
That one little word
So easy to say
But i would pay
Just to here it
That one litte word
I long to be heard
That word
So simple
So sweet
Yes
I beg just say yes
For me a Simple word so keen
Yes.
For you.
For him.
For me.
Yes

HIV of the mind By: E.A.Allen
Somethings wrong with me
Everythings blury Cant see
Maybe I have HIV Of the mind
Aids in my liver
Time not on my side
Maybe something I've done was vile
Upset the aligators in the nile
There coming to revolt
To shoot me down
Yelling for me to halt
But I can never stop
Running on a frozen treadmill
Feet pounding on the ice
I dont even need to think twice
Maybe I have HIV of the mind
Aids in my liver
Time not on my side
Everythings blurry maybe this is goodbye
So long to you
You who never knew
Knew how much I really loved you
You just said mm mm good
Like I was cambles soup
I knew you loved me
But I loved you so much it hurt inside
Whenever we couldnt touch
It drove me up the wall
I wanted to be there in your arms
But There was something wrong
I had HIV of the mind
AIDs in my liver
Amd time wasnt on our side

Take thisBY:E. A. Allen
Look at me
I dont understand this
I dont get why i do this
Make him hurt like this
Pain seeping into his chest
His lungs barley able to pull in breath
The pain going up and slipping out his eyes
Tears beat down his cheeks as he cries.
Look what i've done ive made the mighty fall
Made the mighty cry
I didnt mean to i swear
I just wanted to die
To cease all this pain i caused
To make it go away
To not have to see him sad another day
I cant take to see this
See him be in pain
It makes me think its my fault
That he is in so much pain
It makes me want to beat my self
Mercilessy like the never ending rain
The poudning in my head
The pounding in my brain
I cant even stop this
This never ending pain
I cant even take to glance outside
WHen the darkness starts to rain
To slip down my soul and into my mind
I am slowly dying from all this pain inside
I cant belive inside me i just see you cry
It makes me want to die.
All the pain I've caused
I have only one question to ask my self
To ask you
WHy?'
Why can you take how horrible i am?
How bad I am
Why dont you leave since i'm sure
I'm worthless
Thats what I'm always told.
Arent I useless to you as well?

2005-06-16 [Your Favorite Stranger]: oh pish posh! she won't hurt you, seriously! she's nice. just ask her to look at some of your stuff

2005-06-16 [Ego Diligo Tu]: I dont know......what if she dosent like me...

2005-06-16 [Your Favorite Stranger]: *cocks an eyebrow at you* she will...she doesn't dislike anyone really, not unless you give her a reason

2005-06-16 [Ego Diligo Tu]: well i sent her a message

2005-06-16 [Your Favorite Stranger]: yay!!

2005-06-16 [Ego Diligo Tu]: wow

2005-06-16 [Your Favorite Stranger]: what?

2005-06-16 [Ego Diligo Tu]: you seem happy that i sent her one

2005-06-16 [Your Favorite Stranger]: uh, yeah! wait why shouldn't i be?

2005-06-16 [Ego Diligo Tu]: i dont know i was just saying

2005-06-16 [Your Favorite Stranger]: oh. well i am...kk i got the Vampire Crescent up at Inkvein if you wanna check it and make sure i got a good description up there

2005-06-28 [Your Favorite Stranger]: awesome new one!

2005-06-30 [Ego Diligo Tu]: thanks

2005-07-02 [Your Favorite Stranger]: no prob

2005-07-22 [Your Favorite Stranger]: i think "Ironic" is one of the ones that hits me hard, like makes me sad and stuff...it paints a picture...a very sad picture, because i know you do't write anything but the truth and thinking of that maybe happening o you...it hurts

2005-07-23 [Ego Diligo Tu]: *smiles and hangs head* would you like to know the story?

2005-07-24 [Your Favorite Stranger]: only if it's not to hard for you to share or something. i don't want to cause you pain just to satisfy my curiosity...but other than that, yes i would like to know

2005-07-24 [Ego Diligo Tu]: well you wont be the first to know...so..here we go...well..see when i went on vacation i stayed at a family friends house. her names mary. mary has two grandsons. ones about my age his names paul and the older one whos 17 is ricky well when i was staying there i was sleeping on the couch and paul was sleeping on the floor. well i mean me and him were freinds so we stayed up talking and i had moved down next to him so we could tlak better without being found out cuz it was like 1am in the morning and he leaned over and kissed me. I was like hey paul you know i have a boyfriend and i dont like you that way, and he was like but I like you that way n he got over me and started kissing me

2005-07-24 [Ego Diligo Tu]: I trying to push him offf and he was like fine you dont wanna kiss well do something else. and he made me you know give him a blow job. then finally i gotr away and went to sleep then the next night he started up agian adn i was paul go away okay! and he woulndt n thats when he raped me...and then after i was crying he stopepd and HE started crying and hes liek why did i do that and then he stopped and was like i lvoe you and i just acted like i was asleep...

2005-07-24 [Your Favorite Stranger]: ...oh my god, that's...horrible...i don't know what to say, really...i can't believe...well no, i can, that's why it's so horrible...god, liz, i'm so sorry

2005-07-24 [Ego Diligo Tu]: its ok

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