At the time this was written it was then my 11th rant. I no longer keep the pages in any real kind of chronological order, but more in the order that makes sense. I remember thinking while writing "wow, 11 pages and people keep on reading." and I made the remark on the original page "why I hear you say, why? Is 11 pages of information ranting not enough?!" And I'll give you the answer I gave you back then.
No.
Because the stupidity just keeps on coming.

This rant was written in response to the wide spread media coverage Wicca/witchcraft was getting in the UK at that time. Believe it or not, through the medium of Big Brother (Gawd awful show. And I'm right you're wrong, it's Gawd awful :P) and just how warped and twisted the "facts" were coming out. I've tried to keep the wording as similar as possible. I know you like to watch me froth at the mouth and spit blood.

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In the past few years there has been a definite renewal of interest in the occult and the pagan paths. This should come as no surprise. During the 80's Wicca met with a revival due to it's almost sudden popularity in the United States, and came back to the UK even shinier than before. And since them the image presented to the general public via the media has furthered the rising interest in the pagan world. This can either be seen as a blessing or a curse.

Shows such as "Buffy" and "Charmed" have brought about an interest in the younger generations towards those interested in pagan belief. However due to their portrayals, the glamour and and the easy nature of the spell-crafting portrayed is largely misleading. I sometimes wonder if their move away from the image of the cackling evil witch cursing everyone was a good thing. At least when people were afraid they didn't think you were a pushover who's best ability was making themselves more beautiful. Because yes, when you have a power that can save mankind, you're going to use it to make your boobs bigger. Humanity is truly doomed.

As you can imagine, this misinformed interest, lead to the increase of playgans in the pagan world.

Another more recent factor has been reality TV.

The show Mad Mad House that aired in 2004, which I only ever saw once, and it was the episode with the "witch" in delighted in the exploitation of what it liked to define as the weird and occulty. I wanted to gouge my eyes out after the first ten minutes. Fair enough though, it was all a bit of fun, a bit of a giggle..until it turned out that people actually thought what that woman was doing was proper witchcraft.

For the record, being able to do "cord magic(k)" does not make you a witch or even a Wiccan. It makes you someone able to do cord magic(k).

Watching on in horror I couldn't help but wonder just how many kids, heck, just how many adults were also watching this and going "hey cool, I could do that" and then converted to the first book of easy Wicca they layed their hands on at Barnes and Noble. The horror, the horror!

Ahem...

NEWS FLASH

IT IS NOT ABOUT BEING COOL!!

How many times do I need to be brought back from a rage induced heart attack before this sinks in. Wicca is not cool. Religion is not about being cool. Trust me, lots of religious groups came to our school and tried to be cool and "like the kids" they were found hanging from a nearby tree the next morning.

Paganism, Wicca, is a serious dedication. You are devoting part of yourself, to the following of this religion and what it stands for. And this means a hell of a lot more than tying knots in to a cord. I will keep saying this until it kills me, and then I'm going to come back from the dead to remind you.

Religion is not cool. It is not an image. It is not a fashion accessory to go along with your new corset and eyeliner.


And just when I was getting over that, a year later Big Brother came back on the air. And they brought with it, a "witch."

I was trying to browse the Internet in peace and then the news popped up with "WITCH IN THE HOUSE." Idiot that I am clicked it. And nearly had a stroke from the "DO NOT WANT" coursing through my veins.

I am sure that the majority of people will know what the reality tv show Big Brother is, but for those of you who don't it's a reality show in which people are "forced" to live in a house together and make complete tits of themselves on national television. There appears to be a new one on TV here every 6 months (or is it a year, I don't know I don't watch television) due to the fact that the majority of Britain is apparently brain dead.

This is the first paragraph from that story:

Oompa Loompas, past-it porn stars and terrifying gay witches are just some of the Big Brother hopefuls who won’t be appearing on this year’s show. But the big question is: who is?

If that doesn't fill you with soul despairing dread then you are not human.

Sadly, we’ll have to wait until Friday to find out who’s in the final line-up, but producers admit they’ve pulled out all the stops to make this year’s show the craziest yet. BB chiefs even tried to hire a porn star to play the part of a dominatrix on the show. "They then came up with the idea of hiding a secret dungeon in one of the rooms,” revealed 40-year-old hopeful Tina. “When I told them that I had a life-size crucifix at home, they went potty and thought that would be a great idea to have as well."

Faith...in..humanity...falling....

But the ex-masseuse blew her chances of getting on the show because she wasn’t willing to have sex on TV. Meanwhile, other hopefuls shown the door included a man dressed as an Oompa Loompa, a hyperactive porn star called Barbie, and a gay witch who threatened: “If I’m not picked then the Big Brother house will fall down.”

Mayday, mayday! We're going down! *rock bottom*

One question in response to that: What, the Fuck?

Ignoring all the stuff about porn stars and crap like that lets get to the "witch".

A gay witch, right fine. Nothing wrong with that, one's sexual preferences should not affect beliefs (...unless you are devout Christian in which case it's more than likely you will have some views on this). I have many friends within the pagan circles who are gay or bisexual, it does not affect the way in which they practice their religion (except maybe for a few of the rituals they perform- I will refrain from drawing you pictures) However, the very fact that this person is willing to openly use both their religion and their sexuality to get onto TV automatically sets the warning bells in my head screaming.
The thing that then confirmed my fears was the above phrase:
“If I’m not picked then the Big Brother house will fall down.”

Is she trying to get herself locked up? Or burned at the stake? (*sigh* if only it were still legal eh? Your martyrdom for misinformed beliefs would be complete.) I mean come on. What kind of fucking moron says that?

Oh yes that's right. Someone trying to get on television. Time was you had to wear a suit and be able to speak decent English to get on tv here. Now it seems we've lost out integrity over the same cliff we left out brains sitting on during that high wind.

Can you imagine, what would have happened if the house did fall down though by some odd quirk of fate? (It certainly wouldn't have been her doing it-trust me)

There would have been a witch hunt by the more stupid people. Only not in the way we think of. I mean she would have been used to exploit the pagan religion and make it even more commercialised to the point that you'd have been able to get spells out of gumball machines for fifty pence. -And if someone tells me you can, I will have a heart attack I swear.

At the time I had the idea of creating my own cult. (I didn't realise at the time that I was already gaining a cult following so to speak- you guys rock by the way.) And I'd use them take out the playgans in the media and every day life. day by day we would grow in numbers, saving those who hadn't already opted for the full frontal lobotomy and providing mercy killings to those who had.

I wasn't aware that while I contined to rant and scream, and occasionally try to educate, that people were already doing that. Minus the killings...I think...what I was however aware of at the time, was the forums and newspapers lighting up with bullshit such as this:

"Discrimination agaisnt Witches
OMG I cannot believe they are doing this to us?
We are the oldest religion in the world and they still
discriminate agaisnt us! So much for the age of "tolerance
that we are meant to live in, I think we should form a
petition and get themvoted back in! We have a right
to have our voices heard."

After reading several posts similar to that, I went about rather calmly replying to all of them, typing with the letters s l i g h t l y  s p a c e d  o u t, to give them time to join them together and read what I was trying to say.

It was something akin to:

"First of all...where did you get the idea that Wicca is the oldest religion in the world? It was created in the 1950's (1951-52 to be exact) by Gardner with the change in law in the UK involving the legality of witchcraft to that of unlawful mediumship. ((I say that line so often now it's ingrained on my brain)) So unless the world began in 1951 I think you should try and learn some more about your own religion.
And no they are not discriminating agaisnt said proclaimed witch for their religion or their sexuality.
Its because they are a bloody moron and qite probably a bit of a psycho."

Funnily enough I never did get any responses. Any luck the logic made their heads explode. Brain meats for all!

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- Playgans