The Town Herald

The netpaper about Elftowners, by Elftowners, for Elftowners.



HUMOR

Have you ever wondered...
by [pixish]


...Why you do your best artwork on lined paper?
...Why you always seem to rent a video, only to find out it will be on television next week?
...Why you always yell advice at people in movies and TV shows even though you KNOW they can't hear you? (Or can they...?)
...Why people still think that Brad Pitt is the sexiest man on earth?
...Why kids seem to find boogers so tasty? (Nutritional value?)
...What kind of babies Spongebob Squarepants and Mr. Crab's daughter Pearl would make?
...What kind of babies Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick would make?
...What kind of babies Spongebob Squarepants and Squidward would make - and how they would get Squidward to submit to participating in this creation?
...Why most men would rather continue to play their videa game than pay attention to a scantily clad girlfriend who just walked in the room and OBVIOUSLY would like to...be...friendly?
...Who the hell came up with the name 'Everybody Loves Raymond'? (As far as I can tell...nobody likes Raymond except his mum. It should be 'Everybody thinks Raymond is a Dork Except His Mum'-- read the trivia, people!)
...Why they have not made automatic smiley keys on the keyboards yet?
...Why farts are so funny?
...Do fish fart? (From all accounts, this is still unknown)
...When did you stop using the word 'pussy' when referring to a cat because you now consider it a rude word?
...Why doesn't Bert move out if Ernie pisses him off so much? (And they are NOT gay, so it can't be the sex...)
...Who actually thinks that 'Funniest Home Video Shows' are funny? (I know I spend most of my time cringing in sympathy...)
...Why fan girls automatically think anyone who is going out with Orlando Bloom is a bitch? (I mean...if they love him so much, wouldn't they want him to be happy?)
...There is always the tiniest bit of juice or cordial left in the bottle, because nobody wants to 'drink the last of it'?
...Why drunk people always forget that they can't sing?
...How many other people think the little cartoon guy on the 'Mr Sheen' bottle looks like John Howard?
...Why, when you go to your car after spending a few hours shopping, did you always park much further from the entrance than you orginally thought?

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