I wrote a story for my creative writing class, I dont know if its any good, but here it is.




“Where do you think you’re goin’?”
  “Just on a walk.”
  “At 12 at night? You’re full of shit!” she says slightly slurring her words.
  He can’t stand her when she’s wasted, its bad enough when she’s sober.
  “You’re a drunken moron.” he replied bluntly.
  “I’m not drunk you asshole! And I’m not no moron, you am the moron”
  “You can’t even speak English correctly and you’re calling me the moron?” Deciding he had heard enough he walked out of the house, making sure to slam the door. As he walks away he can faintly hear his mother still yelling profanities at him. Maybe I shouldn’t have made her mad, maybe I should have just went out the back door he thought as he walked away without any certain destination in mind.
  Away from his mother’s eyesight, knowing he didn’t have to worry about showing emotion, he let himself get angry. He let his mind wander. Gosh, I don’t see how she thinks I’m the selfish one, she drinks her life away, spends all of her money on nothing but alcohol and cigarettes, never stopping to think about anyone else, not me, or the kids. She blames me for her drinking problem, as if I shove the shit down her throat. She wonders why I hate her- “I seriously do hate her. She could die tomorrow, and it wouldn’t bother me any. She’s just a crazy bitch, no one-”
  His thoughts were interrupted by a noise. Startled, he looked around. To his left, there was a man on his front porch smoking a cigarette. Embarrassed that he had been caught talking to himself, he quickened his pace. After having well passed the man he looked down at his watch. The time 12:30 flashed in neon green. She would be asleep by now.
  He now had a destination, he walked faster.

  He could see her through the window. The girl had fallen asleep with the light on again and the covers at the foot of her bed in crumples. She was still in that day’s clothing, wearing her Pink Floyd shirt and a pair of baggy, black pants. Taking his eyes off of her for just a minute, he looked around her room. He thought her room was very interesting, with her dark silver and black walls and the posters and cut out pictures of rock bands and her friends all over her walls. As he looked around her room, his eyes stopped at the desk, there was her school books, and homework still open, and unfinished. Now, leaving the light on made him wonder, not using her covers and not getting dressed for bed made him bothered, but not finishing her homework and putting it away made him worried. That’s not like her at all.
  Unsatisfied with just watching her through the glass, he began to open the window. What am I doing? He shook his head, in hope it would make his mind shut up. Managing to open the window without a noise, he inched his way into the window, and stepping into her room. His heart racing, he made his way over to her bed. If only she knew me, she wouldn’t judge me like all the others. I would treat her right, I wouldn’t ignore her, I would never betray her. Wishing he could actually tell her all this, he stood above her, watching her chest rise and fall rhythmically.
  The cold air crept its way into the room, and he shivered. He slowly and gently pulled the covers over her. There was so much risk he was taking by entering her room. She could wake up any minute, and catch him in her room. Knowing all this, he knew he couldn’t stay much longer. But he couldn’t leave just yet. He made his way across the room. Just as he reached the light switch, a board squeaked underneath him. He became motionless instantly and held his breath. The girl stirred in her sleep, but then went still again. He stood there, waiting for what seemed like five minutes until he decided to move again.
  He reached for the switch, and turned off the lights. Everything fell dark, the only light source being the moon. Reluctant to step on the squeaky board again, he cautiously started to walk back to the window. He made sure to watch where he stepped this time. As he passed by her desk, he closed her books and stacked them neatly. He continued to creep back to the window. Before leaving, he gazed at her for a moment longer. The words, “Goodnight, Allison” came out as barely a whisper.
  He crawled out the window. But with his back turned, he failed to see the smirk that had grown on the girls face.

 

                                        *                     *

 
  He was walking to the library to return a book, still unread. He remembered checking it out two weeks ago, he had swore that he would find the time to read it. But every time he picked it up, he wouldn’t read more than a few sentences before his mind got crowded and blurry with thoughts of her. He told himself he could just read the book at a later time, even though he knew the book would soon be forgotten. He started to wonder whether what he did the night before was incredibly stupid of him or not. That was stupid, but I got away with it. She didn’t wake up, and I wasn’t caught. I was only helping her. It wasn’t wrong. He finally reached the library. He walked into the library, scanning it for awhile to see who all was there.
  His eyes fell on her. He stood shocked, and caught off-guard. She was sitting alone, at the very far back table, reading a book. Not wanting to be seen, he hid behind an aisle. He could see from where he was standing that she was reading Tenderness. He had read that book many times before, and it was one of his favorites. He knew she was a reader, but now he knew she also had good taste.
  He stayed in that spot, watching her read. Not once did she let her eyes wander away from those pages, as if she weren’t reading the pages anymore, but actually living them. She looked at those pages, like he was looking at her, almost mesmerized. Watching her always made him feel not so alone. I care for her so much, with time, she could feel the same way too. She, someday, could be mine. No, she wouldn’t be mine. That sounds as if I will own her. I don’t want that. I only want to make her happy. I want to give her the happiness she deserves, that’s all. He heard someone walking towards him, he turned around to find it was Seth.
  “Hey, Nick! Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in awhile.”
  “Uh…hello. I’ve been around.” I wonder if he saw me staring at her.
  “Cool,” he says nodding, “you still goin’ to the fair with me and the guys?”
  “Um, yea I guess. I’ll have to take off work, but that’s alright. The fair is next week, right?”
  “Yeah.”
  “Okay, how many will I have to fit in my car?”
  “Just me, Jason, Will, and Aaron.”
  “That’s fine. When do you all want to be picked up?”
  “Just whenever you get offa’ work” he paused to think, “Oh, yea. A bunch of guys are getting together tonight to play some football in the field. You comin’?”
  Football was never his thing. He would occasionally play, but in the end going home bruised and sore. He wasn’t built for football, or any sport for that matter.
  “Nah, I have work and some other things I have to do.”
  “Alright, but you gotta come next week then, a bunch of the guys think you have disappeared off the face of the earth or sumtin.”
  “Yea, I’ll find some time to get out and see everyone sooner or later. But hey, I need to be leaving.”
  “Alright, see ya later.”
  “Yea, bye Seth.” He was thankful that Seth didn’t ask why he had to leave, not that he wouldn’t be able to come up with a lie right on the spot, but because he hated lying to his friends.
  He left the library, walking behind the Post Office and sat in the grass to think. He felt bad for blowing off his good friends, and he wasn‘t sure why he did. Every day he spent more and more time at home, a place he hated so much. Before, there wasn’t a day he didn’t play ball or hang out with his friends. Why did I pass up a chance at fun? I haven’t hung out with the guys in such a long time. They must think I’m ditching them or something. I guess it seems like it too. Being able to see them and hang out with them used to be such a big part of my life, and now its like they aren’t as important as they used to be. I don’t need them anymore. Maybe the only person I need is Allison. He hated that thought. He took his friendships seriously. He hated the thought of being a bad friend. And that’s what I am now, a bad friend. But Allison needs me more. She’s got no one but me. She needs me as much as I need her. It occurred to him that that thought was a bit strange. She didn’t even know him, so why was he thinking she needed him? He shrugged it off. From where he was sitting he could see the entrance to the library. He stayed there, watching and waiting to see her leave and go home.
  He watched the clock. Forty-five minutes passed when she finally came out of the library. It was dark. She shouldn’t be out alone at this time. He got up, and followed her, wanting to protect her from anything and everything.
  After making sure she got home safely, he headed to the trailer park, home, sweet home.
                                    *                 *
 
  He woke to the sound of his alarm clock beeping. Cranky and not wanting to go to work, he slammed the snooze button, and he let his eyes fall shut again. It was very rare for him to get up at the first beeps of the alarm, instead he usually hit the Snooze button four or five times each morning. Because of this, he usually set his alarm forty-five minutes before he actually had to get up. The alarm went off once more. Again, he slammed the snooze button cursing at the machine.
  Ten minutes later, he was awake enough to hear the click right before the alarm goes off. Before the alarm could make its awful noise, he reached over to hit the other button, turning it off. He slowly got out of bed, surprised at how easy he got up this morning. Only three times of hitting the snooze button this morning. He plopped himself down in his computer chair, starting up Netscape and looked through all the links under his Favorites list. First on the list being Allison’s online journal. I wish she would update more often. After having looked through most of his favorites, he finally felt awake and started to get ready for work.
  It doesn’t take him long. He takes a quick shower, throws on any random pieces of clothing then brushes his teeth and he’s ready to go. Since he still had plenty of time left due to waking up early, he sat back down at his computer to update his own online journal.

Sept. 30th, 2005 | 8:46 A.M.
I saw her again last night. She was at the library reading a book. She was just so beautiful. Every time I watch her, I become fixated on her, not seeing anyone but her. Seeing her only at night, while she sleeps isn’t satisfying anymore. Watching her at the library has made me realize that seeing her awake is so much more pleasing. It was dark by the time she was done reading and left the library. I couldn’t let her walk alone. I followed her, I kept her safe. I will always keep her safe. Someday, I will tell her all of this. I will tell her, then she will love me. How could she not? I am right here, begging for her love. Who else is there but me? I am committed to her, I would never betray her. She will love me. She will see how much I love her, how I would never hurt her, and she will love me. She is my life, my happiness…. I must go see her soon. Maybe I will go visit the guys during school hours Monday at their lunch break. Maybe I will be lucky enough to see her. I would go see her tonight, but I have plans to go to the county fair with the guys. Work time, I’m leaving.

  He leaves his room, making sure to shut off the light, but leaving his computer on. Walking out of his room and into the living room, to no surprise he finds his mom passed out on the couch with a half empty bottle of beer on the floor next to the couch. Whore, she is useless. She’s just drinking her life away. Stupid, really stupid. I will never end up that way. For a little fun, he took the bottle to the bathroom , pissed in it then returned the bottle to the same spot on the floor. He knew that she would wake up around noon, to drink the rest of her beer. He left his house with a proud smirk on his face.
   
            
        *         *      

  He finally got off work at 2:30. That day at work was especially irritating. His supervisor was on his back all day, because someone had turned him in for spitting in a customers drink. What the supervisor didn't know and didn't bother to ask him was that it was one of his friends. He even told the guy about it later and they laughed about it. But since the supervisor didn't care about his side of the story, he found the easiest way to deal with this problem was to deny it. But obviously the supervisor would not take his word on it, and wrote him up. It’s a piece of crap job anyways. Its pays shitty too. He needed to get home to take a shower before he went to pick up the guys. It was hot, and he was now regretting that he said he would go to the fair, but he knew he couldn’t bail out now.
  When he arrived home, he saw that his mom’s car was gone. Relieved, he went to his room and played The Used on his computer, turning the volume all the way up. He took another quick shower, trying to get the smell of Pizza Hut off of him. Since his shower was quick, he had extra time to kill. He looked for his book. He had finally been able to read again. Seeing her read, made him really want to read again too. He was halfway through another favorite book of his, Demon Seed by Dean Koontz. It must have been his fifth time reading it, but it never got old. He looked on his desk where he had left it. What the heck, where is it? He knew he left it there. With his neatly cleaned room, there was no place he could have misplaced it without being able to find it again. Uh, Darin probably borrowed it. He should have effin asked. Damn it. Darin, his little brother, had a bad habit of borrowing stuff, forgetting to inform the person he borrowed from. Without wanting to start another book from his collection in his bookcase, he sat down at his computer. Once again, he checked her online journal to find it still not updated.
  Sighing, he got up from his computer and went to the living room turning on the TV. His music was still playing in his room, so he put the television on mute. After watching his mute TV for awhile, he got a hunger pain. He hadn’t eaten anything yet today, so he figured he probably should eat now, instead of the gross, unhealthy fair food. He got up from the couch, and micro-waved a can of green beans. Someone needs to go shopping. Not like mom is going to go to the grocery story any time soon, being low on cash and instead of buying food, buying booze. Effin moron. He sat down to eat his food. He had been eating a lot of canned vegetables and fruits lately, being the only thing he could really afford to buy himself. Not only was canned food cheap, but it was easy to cook as well. He definitely wasn’t a cook.
  After eating, he turned off the TV, went to his room to turn off his music and light, grabbed his car keys and turned to leave. He would be early, but he was tired of sitting around and doing nothing.
  He pulled up to Aaron’s house, knowing that everyone would be there, for he had the biggest house and his parents were rarely home. They considered his house their “hangout”. He pulled into the drive way, and honked. Jason and Seth came racing out of the house, both calling shot gun. Jason was in the lead, due to his long legs. Being the oldest of the other four and in his junior year, he was much taller than everyone. Jason reached the door and he had to fight to open it. It made a loud screeching noise. Climbing into the passenger seat he said, “Man, when are you gonna get a new car. This is a piece of junk!”
  “Yea, right. It’s not that bad,” he defended his car. It took him nearly 7 months to save up the $500 for the 1988 Honda Prelude.
  Seth opened up the back door, cursing at Jason.
  “Dang, I called shotgun!”
  “No way man, with those short little legs you can sit in the back seat. I need the extra leg space! You stupid hobbit.”
  "Shut up! I'm not that short! Besides, what about my hair! It needs some extra space too!"
  Jason grunted.
  "I know you. At night you lie awake in bed wishing your hair was as awesome as mine! You worship my hair!"
  "The you beat me to shot gun will be the day I worship your hair! And what chance do you have of beating me to the front seat with those nubs for legs?!" This made them laugh, except for Seth of course.
  The other two came out of the house, in no hurry. Jason leaned over and hit the horn a few times, an attempt to get Will and Aaron to quicken their pace.
  They eventually crammed into the back seat with Seth, and they left for the fair.

                                              *          *

 
  They didn’t leave the fair until way past dark. Surprisingly, he actually enjoyed himself. While there, he got to see a lot of casual friends that he hadn’t seen for awhile. Most of his classmates left for college this year, while he stayed home, taking a break from school after his senior year. Seeing his friends and hanging out with his guys, he realized that by avoiding them he wasted a lot of fun times he could have had. He also realized he hadn’t thought of Allison the whole night. Is that a bad thing, or a good thing? I’m allowed to have fun every now and then. I don’t always have to be thinking of her just because I love her, do I? Either way, he promised himself he would have to get out of the house more and see his friends more often. He made some plans to play football with them Wednesday night.
  After dropping everyone off at various houses, he decided to drive around some more to think. He drove around town, in the back streets where it was dark, being his favorite roads. Coming to a stop, he parked on the other side of the street, across from Allison’s house. Shutting off the ignition, he stayed parked, watching her house.

           


                                           *        *
 

 

  He woke up the next morning, from the sound of a passing by car. Sitting up, he looked around and realized he fell asleep in his car outside of Allison’s. Oh, shit! He started his car, and quickly drove away. It was a few minutes before 9. God, she better have not seen me. She was probably still sleeping anyway. He looked in his rear view mirror, to see “Clean me” written on his windshield.

                                     *         *


  Monday’s definitely weren’t good days for him. He prefers weekends, when he could stay up late and then sleep in the next morning. Although, last night he didn’t purposely stay up late. He tried to go to bed early, but instead he lay in bed thinking about Allison. Maybe if she saw me outside of her house, it wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Maybe then she would finally know who I am, or at least, know of me. But, no, that would put us off to the wrong start. When the time comes that I actually introduce myself to her, and we begin a relationship, I do not need her knowing that I have known her for such a long time. She must think I that just saw her and decided to make friends. She doesn’t seem to be the type that would run away scared after knowing how much I am already in love with her, having never talked to her before. But just incase, she can’t know that I have stalked her. Or, that’s what other people call it. But I don’t. Stalking sounds violent and strange. Stalking is not what I do. I merely protect her. That can’t be wrong, and if it is, then society is fucked up.
 
 
  He woke up a few hours later after falling back to sleep. He was planning to go to the school to look for Allison, and of course to hang out with his friends. He looked at the clock. 10:57. Oh, crap. He jumped out of bed. He only had a half hour to get ready and go to the school. He quickly showered and dressed. He contemplated not showering to save time, but decided just incase Allison were to see him he wanted to look tidy and clean.
 
  It took him only 18 minutes to shower, dress and finish getting ready. By twenty after, he was out of the house and starting his car. He had actually planned on walking, but wanting to make sure he got there and got to see the guys for at least a half hour of the lunch period, he drove the car. It’s stupid, driving to the school with it only being two blocks away. I shouldn’t waste my gas, but I would pay any price to see her. He drove into the high school parking lot, and he easily spotted Seth, Aaron and Jason next to the steps beside the school due to Seth’s bushy, un-kept hair.
  “Nick! Did you miss school so much that you had to come back?” Jason said sarcastically.
  “Yea,…..that’s it.” he replied in the same sarcastic tone. “No, actually I was bored out of my mind, and I figured I would come hang out with you guys for a lil’ while.”
  “Sounds cool, but don’t you have work?” Aaron, for some reason always knew his work hours.
  “Didn’t feel like goin’.”
  “Aw, man. You gonna get yo ass fiiired!” Jason said, acting pimp.
  “You do know that the whole gangster thing doesn’t work for you, right?” Nick defended himself.
  “Oh man, you got dissed real bad dawg,” Aaron jumped into the conversation again.
  “…….okaaay….” Will came walking up.
  “Hey!” Jason said, always first to greet someone.
  “So, ……you guys are turning pimp aren’t ya?” he joked. “Sounds like you’ve got the idiot talk down, now you just need the big purple fuzzy hat and you’ll have it made.”
  “Fo’ sho’!” Jason burst out.
  Just as he finished yelling, Will pointed out to all of them that a few of their fellow “wiggers” were standing behind them listening. They all began laughing, but of course, Jason laughing the hardest.
  After they all managed to stop laughing, the four of them started to casually talk about their morning classes and other things, while he scanned the front lawn of the high school, trying to spot Allison. It wasn’t hard to find her. She was nearby, in the grass, sitting underneath the biggest tree in the yard, reading a book. You can see it in her eyes when she reads, how delicate and fragile she is, even with the dark disguise she wears for all other people. He strains his eyes to see what book she was reading. The his amazement, she was reading Demon Seed. He smiled without realizing he did so. He was glad she was reading that book. It was another thing he could add to the list of what they had in common.


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