Onward to: Uni Pubbage and Other Alcohol Induced Insanity 2

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Uni Pubbage

and Other Alcohol Induced Insanity

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KEY:
Gay Scott = The Scott that Big Emma & Big Steph know
Scott (Or Lesbian) = Our Scott

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Ian Ah, now 'cos then it all goes wixey... I mean whiskey


Scott Everyone knows I'm an ass man
Big Steph Yeah Scott, but do you give or take?


Big Steph She's plotting something....
Big Emma *innocent look*....*huuuge burp* *VERY satisfied look* xD


Ian *whines* She nailed me....


*Big Steph flops in Ian's lap*
Ian Oh hang on, crotch. Your bun was fondling something


Ian *about Big Emma* It's like an alcoholic cat


Lil Emma I cant spell alcoholic right.
Big Steph Is that because you're in denial?


Ian It gets softer and softer the longer I play with it
Big Emma Isn't it supposed to go the other way?


Big Emma *talking about belly button fluff* Oh no, it's just men. Cos their hormones suck in the fluff


Big Steph *Whilst grabbing Lil Emma* Poke Her!
Ian No shes all wet


Ian You know where a dog sniffs something and perks up. My gaydar is like that, but it perks up at everyone


Ian It's not meant to come out like that
Big Steph It always does Ian


Ian *after staring at cute bartenders* Who's the one with the baguette? He's clearly gay. Holding something long and hard.


*Shouted in the MIDDLE of Newcastle*
Bryoni I might take ALL my clothes off!


*In November*
Matt The Great North Run is still on?!


Matt Are you saying that my cock is an emotion?
Big Emma Well you feel it ALL the time


Ian I thought everything was wedged to one side


Lil Emma I tried to spell 'one' with a 'w' just then...


Big Steph *Humps Ian*....*spills drink*....Whoops I splurged
Ian Jeez didn't take you long!


Lil Emma *after Steph unhooked her bra by lifting her shirt* You cheated! You can't look! Hook it back up again, and this time you do it properly woman!


Ian I just stuck my tongue out and hoped for the best


Bryoni We've got two 12" peaches coming
Lil Emma Peaches?
Bryoni What did I say?
Lil Emma You said peaches
Bryoni ....
Lil Emma You meant pizzas dear


*Steph unhooks Lil Emma's bra in record time*
Bryoni That's quite impressive
Big Steph I'm a lesbian. What did you expect?


Big Steph Why am I the only one in a bra?
Big Emma Cos you haven't taken mine off yet


Big Steph Every step you take, Every move you make, I'll be stalking you


Big Emma When she made me try that bra it was like peas in egg cups


Lil Emma I'll stick my feet in your face
Ian I'll stick something else in your face, then you'll be complaining
Big Emma And by that, he means a rodent...And by a rodent, he means something that eats cheese...And by something that eats cheese, he means a mouse...And by mouse, he means he'll stick his cock in your face


Ian *loud Burrrrpppp* *satisfied look* Heh


Ian *pokes Big Steph's bum* I can't help it. My fingers just find it


Big Emma I think I have the hiccups....But in burp form


Ian *sticks a flying saucer on his nose* *grins* Me special
Big Steph ....Nobhead


Big Steph I tried to undo Ian's bra. It took me a minute until I realised he doesn't have one
Lil Emma I didn't realise anything was wrong with that 'til you said he doesnt have one


Big Steph Right. I vote we take our bra's off
Big Emma *Frantic struggle to get bra out* I WIN!....Was it not a race?


Big Steph *directed at Ian* When did you have semi straight days? Back when you were pre-hormonal and couldn't control your erections?


Matt If you punched Ghandi, would he punch back?
Everyone No
Matt Good now all I need is a time machine


Lil Emma It was hanging off and needed eating


Lil Emma I need my teddy
Ian I can give you a finger?


Ian Classy bird!
Lil Emma What, forking instead of spooning?


Ian I'm all wet, I'm more wet than usual


Ian I'm getting them up so I can bend them over


Big Emma He was practically wagging his cock at you


Big Steph Four puffs and a piano
Matt What and I'm the piano?
Big Emma Cos everyone plays you Matt


Big Steph Emma? When did you grow a penis?


Ian I've never had one that long....Oooh is he close?


Ian Matt why are your feet really dirty?
Matt It's cos I've been kicking niggas


Matt I'm not putting my finger in anymore holes. It's not good for you


Big Emma It's dark. We're allowed to be pissed


Big Emma What's this dangley bit here?


Matt Coma?
Ian CORSET!
Big Emma I could murder a danzig....You are talking about kormas right?


Big Emma There's no need to jiggle it!


Matt I can hear music....
Chris ....That's the toilet


Lil Emma You're just jealous cos my balls are sparkly


Matt *sings in Newcastle* I'm gonna stick my willy in your mouth


Ian The level of shock on my face, it just came all over me


Anna He can't he's got no balls


Lil Emma I don't drink cheese before bed


Bryoni It's not as big. Sorry I was never very good at math


Ian It's like a hamster with a new wheel or a dog with a new leg...
Lil Emma O_o New leg??
Ian ...To hump


Ian I can't help it. I can't control my tongue


Big Steph Ian are you a cheesy puff?
Ian No
Big Emma Only when he hasn't showered in a few days


Ian They're discussing my balls
Big Steph *mishearing* We're not cupping!


Ian It's very gay. It's shiney


Big Emma (I think) Would you eat Steve?


Lil Emma Are you ORGANISING your ice cubes?
Ian *indignant* There's nothing wrong with organising your ice cubes! *huffs*
Big Emma Sometimes they come 'pre-organised'
*later*
Lil Emma You're organinsing them so all the holes point up aren't you?
Ian I've got all the holes empty now


Matt I'm getting pregnant just looking at you


Scott Where did he touch you?
Matt Morrison's


Lewis You went...What's that word?
Matt Lesbian


Scott Go by my rule
Ian & Lil Emma *Simultaneously* What? Fuck everything?


Rachel Oh Ian, Oh no, Oh why?!


Ian I was wondering what was in his mouth


Lil Steph Quick! I'm dripping!


Lil Steph If it's sticky and toffee like then you need it checked out


Ian Steph stop blowing it


Lil Steph I can't swallow it!


Lil Steph That woulda bin funny if I'd thought it out...