Bears

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Page name: Bears [Logged in view] [RSS]

2009-12-26 09:10:29

Last author: Hedda
Owner: NOOOPE

# of watchers: 18

D20: 2

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"Bears kicks ass! By GOD. By GOD." - A young man of good intentions

Lately I have noticed something in regards to the world and it's state of being etc etc. BEARS. Yes. With a B, a B, a B-E-A-R-S. Bears. Frankly, my brothers in science, it can not be denied. There are bears, and they are here, on this planet, and they eat radiation. YES.

Let's say, well, let's say you were to meet a bear. What is it you would do besides die?

-Scream
-Weep
-Soil your pants

Spot on. BEARS. I say it again for drama's sake. Oh, what the drama. But listen here, my soul sisters! Could there be an alternative? TO BEAR DEATH? Dying... from Bears? Is there some vaccine you can take in case of a bear outbreak?

Yes and no. But mostly no. When facing a bear the best things to do are:

-Shoot yourself
-Hurl yourself off a cliff
-Smash your head in
-Overdose

This way the bear wont kill you. You will already be dead. Trust me, it is better that way.

EXTRA EXTRA! HEAR ALL ABOUT IT! ALEXANDER HAMILTON CHALLANGED A BEAR TO A DUEL, AND DIED

Literally, the word Bear means "Not a dog, a cat or anything not a bear". This must be taken into consideration.

Bears cannot be avoided. They hide around corners and wait.

"There was this time my aunt died. It was a'cause of Bears," - Someone you know.

You have no hope. A bear will kill you. Live each moment prepared for death.

2007-02-03 [Dil*]: lmao!!

2007-02-10 [Lothuriel]: I have actually hand fed a bear before....it didn't try to eat me but,then it was only about a meter tall and on a leash. Does that count?

2007-02-10 [NOOOPE]: You weren't it's target.

2007-02-10 [Lothuriel]: Ahh, I see...

2007-02-15 [kay-chan]: Heh, heard a commercial that was like "Bears kill ___ people a year and _____ people just by being around them." It turned out to be a "No they don't, but smoking does, and what would we do if bears did this?"

But I thought of this wiki.

2007-02-15 [NOOOPE]: haha! little do they know... it IS bears.

2007-02-15 [Lothuriel]: Deleted because I don't feel like ruining a good thing...

2007-02-15 [kay-chan]: Me too, but also because it looked like I was talking to myself about nothing.

2007-02-15 [Fizban]: Also, those are much different situations, and I dunno, but the last time I checked, its supposta be harder to get perscription shit, and half the country is not addicted to them.

Alcohol yes...pescription meds? no

2007-02-15 [Lothuriel]: You know what? This wiki is about bears and how they kill people and things and places. So, let's keep it at that, k? <img:stuff/cheshmak.gif>

2007-02-15 [kay-chan]: Sorry, on an anti-v-day kick and grumpy. BEARS ARE GRUMPY TOO. Or maybe they're happy.

2007-02-15 [Fizban]: depends on which ones, grizzlies are always angry...and panda's are always happy ^_^

I wanna hug a baby panda...I want a baby panda ^_^

2007-02-15 [kay-chan]: Panda's are more closely related to foxes, which are happier beings. :3

2007-02-15 [NOOOPE]: pandas are the dumbest of bears. They are utterly convinced they can kill using cuteness. It's only 1/septillionth as effective as just mawling people to death. Panda cuteness only kills a half a person every year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtLzvOsQ80k <- prepare to be half killed.

2007-02-15 [Fizban]: AWWW THEY ARE RELATED TO FOXES!!! NO WONDER I LOVE THEM!!

PANDOXES!! *huggles times ten*

2007-02-15 [Fizban]: Awww, it sneezded ^_^
*glompuggles*

2007-02-15 [kay-chan]: Hee. But Panda cuteness really does disarm people. Maybe they're not looking to kill, but they're going for a more subtle form of mind control.

2007-02-15 [NOOOPE]: mmmmh, that is an interesting theory.

2007-02-16 [kay-chan]: And I watched the movie twice. Does that mean I'm totally dead, or am I a quarter alive, or does it only work once...?

2007-02-16 [NOOOPE]: Once, baby.

2007-02-17 [Lothuriel]: Pandas will eat your spleen....

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